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You are here: Home / Reflections / Week in Review: Newborns by Numbers (#27)

Week in Review: Newborns by Numbers (#27)

April 18, 2016 by Meghan 68 Comments

Get your pads and pens ready because it’s time for the Week In Review.

The Week In Review is a list, in its purest form, not of the things you still need to do, but of all the things you have done in the last seven days. It’s an achievement list, an ode to yourself, a celebration of sorts, and a virtual pat on the back or smack on the ass. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

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♫ You can do it, put your list into it. ♫

I thought I’d put a unique little twist on my post this week. Instead of our typical recap, I’m sharing life with a newborn, by numbers, because it appeals to my neurotic nature, and I like to keep that guy happy.

Now in the interest of full disclosure, because partial truths and half nudity aren’t my thing, you should know some of the numbers I’m sharing are 100% factual, some are approximations and others are a complete exaggeration; creative license and all. You understand.

Let’s begin:  

Number of babies birthed: 1 (fine, fine, this happened the week prior; just roll with it)

Number of cute little cone heads: 1

Ave Sleeping Cone Head

Number of mesh panties I took home from the hospital: 25

Number of times my mother mistook those same rocking drawers for a washcloth: 1

Number of ice packs to be inserted into the sassy skivvies: 15. My icepack to underwear ration is lacking.

Number of champagne toasts: 2

Champagne Toast

Number of kisses bestowed on Ave: 5,234

Number of kisses given to my furry felines, Oscar and Sam: 3,267

Number of kisses shared with the Hubby: 1

Number of murals touched up to include Ave’s name: 1. My sister-in-law has got mad skills.

Ave Ruth Alice in Wonderland Mural

Number of times I breastfed: one billion times.

Number of times I tube fed because big boobs and tiny mouths don’t always mix: 7

Number of times I formula fed because I was too damn tired to mess with anything else: 2

Number of episodes of Million Dollar Listing watched in the same twenty-four hour period: 6

Breast Milk

Number of ounces of breast milk pumped and frozen: 30 ounces

Number of times I worked my iPhone with my nose while double pumping the tatas: 1

Number of bonus points for thinking outside the box: 100,000 plus a cookie.

Ave Ruth Curled Up

Number of shirts I leaked through: 95% of them.

Number of breastmilk stains on the bed sheets: 6

Number of times I washed and changed those same sheets: 0

Number of dead birds Oscar has left me since Ave came home: 4

Oscar and the Pack and Play

Number of times I changed diapers: 70

Number of times I was peed on while changing said diapers: 7

Number of times I witnessed projectile pooping: 1

Ave Ruth Sleeping

Number of times my breasts got so engorged they were rendered useless: 2

Number of times I massaged my melons to loosen them up: countless

Number of times I stuck cabbage leaves in my bra to help with the pain and swelling: 3

Cabbage Line Up

Number of middle of the night meltdowns for Ave: 2

Number of meltdowns for me: 5 and counting.

Number of coffee cups poured: 653

Number of half abandoned coffee cups: 653

Ave Ruth Feet

Number of times I peed while holding a baby: 3

Number of snaps given for extreme multitasking: 2 and toss in a twirl.

Number of mommy baby selfies taken: 3

Number of Ave pictures taken: 3,256

Meg and Ave Selfie

Last but not least, number of people who’ve helped us since Ave was born: an army, most especially our parents and immediate family. From grocery shopping to meal prepping to clothes washing to house cleaning to working in the yard, I cannot thank you guys enough. If I knew this was a way to have someone else clean out my flower beds, I might have had a baby a long time ago. 🙂

It’s your turn. I want to hear from you. Link up and get yo’ list on.

 

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Filed Under: Reflections Tagged With: baby, funny, happy, healthy living blogger, I Love Lists, nursing, Week In Review

« Week in Review: Mini Vanilla Gorilla Edition (#26)
Week In Review: #28 »

Comments

  1. Jen @ Chase the Red Grape says

    April 18, 2016 at 5:08 AM

    Meg you are an absolute star! I don’t know how you do it, heck I don’t know how any new mummy and daddy does it, but all I read and see in this post is a heck of a lot of love – and that makes me beam from ear to ear.
    Give Ave a little cuddle from me – and I hope you get to enjoy one of those cups of coffee fully very soon!

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 18, 2016 at 7:20 AM

      I’m on the AA plan: one day at a time. 🙂 I have no idea how parents do this, much less single parents. It’s some of the most frustrating, yet most rewarding moments of my entire life. I’m glad you felt the love through the post. I was hoping it would come across.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  2. Michele @ paleorunningmomma says

    April 18, 2016 at 5:09 AM

    Loving this and it sounds so accurate to my experiences! Although I have to say you are lucky to only have one projectile poop in a week! He’s so adorable and you look awesome and happy 🙂
    Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…Last Week of Training and Boston Weekend Pictures!My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 18, 2016 at 7:21 AM

      We had plenty of poops, and a handful with the diapers off, but only one which launched itself across the room. I know more are coming though. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  3. Danielle says

    April 18, 2016 at 5:28 AM

    Omg I love this and you and baby look radiant!! So happy for you. I love the mural and wow super talented!
    Can’t wait for more updates, big boobie hugs!!!
    Danielle recently posted…To NourishMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 18, 2016 at 7:24 AM

      Big boobie hugs right back at ya!
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  4. meredith @ cookie chrunicles says

    April 18, 2016 at 6:35 AM

    only two night meltdowns? I consider this major success so far! congrats again – I am here if you need me!
    meredith @ cookie chrunicles recently posted…Spring Time FavoritesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 18, 2016 at 7:31 AM

      Oh they were major meltdowns though including ones which sparked my own. It’s so difficult when all the i’s have been dotted and the t’s crossed and still your baby cries. We’re getting there though.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  5. Kirsten says

    April 18, 2016 at 6:42 AM

    Meghan,
    Give that man a kiss! Just because he’s the only one capable of understanding shifting priorities doesn’t mean you and he don’t need a lil snuggle. So multitask and snog your spouse.

    It really does take a village, and I’m glad you’ve got one.

    <3 the selfies with baby.
    Kirsten recently posted…Garlic Scape Herbed Cream CheeseMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 18, 2016 at 7:32 AM

      I’m not snogging shit right now. Ain’t nothing coming near my nether regions except those ice packs. 🙂 I will make out with him though.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
      • Kirsten says

        April 18, 2016 at 10:12 AM

        Ok this is where I reveal my ignorance. I thought snagging was making out!

        Now Hogwarts seems like this one time, at band camp.

        Reply
        • Meghan says

          April 19, 2016 at 5:48 PM

          Maybe I should make the Hubby an apple pie in the meantime.
          Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

          Reply
  6. Lauren says

    April 18, 2016 at 6:55 AM

    Reply
  7. Cora says

    April 18, 2016 at 7:13 AM

    For you I shall throw in a few snaps, a hundred twirls and some major high kick action. Good thing you have two boobs… I’m not sure just one would have survived the sounds of your week. Glad to hear you are getting by with loving help from friends and family.
    So does the cabbage trick actually work!? And I wonder how Oscar is feeling about your new little addition?
    Cora recently posted…Week In Review: Definite ProductivityMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 18, 2016 at 7:34 AM

      The cabbage trick most definitely works.

      I don’t think Oscar loves Ave just yet, more like he sees her as something to be tolerated for the time being. He’ll come around though, except since he’s still getting his cuddles with me. He is curious though.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 5:49 PM

      Oscar is feeling a little left out at the moment, although I’m trying to give him lots of attention. He actually got to curl up in my lap for a bit this morning so that was good.

      The cabbage works. I can confirm it.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  8. Juli @1000lovelythings says

    April 18, 2016 at 8:07 AM

    Oh wow not that we all didn’t knew but life seems to have changed just a bit 🙂

    Poor Oscar. He’s bringing you presents haha. I bet his world just turned upside down. I am glad you have coffee back in your life and I think you should definitely try to up the number of champagne toasts 😉

    One of my nieces used too pee and puke on me all the time. Once she even pooped on me. Now she’s 6 and she laughes when I tell her about it. I am looking forward to her teeage years when I can blackmail her with it 😉

    P.S. THOSE FEET <3 <3 <3
    Juli @1000lovelythings recently posted…Week in Review – The lame EditionMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 5:50 PM

      Yep, Oscar’s world has been rocked. I feel bad for the little bugger and I keep trying to give him lots of attention.

      I’ll have another champagne toast in your honor. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  9. Ellie says

    April 18, 2016 at 9:03 AM

    Aw she is so cute and you are beautiful! I’m so glad you shared pictures of the nugget with us. I can’t wait to hear more. My week wasn’t as extreme as yours, but I did deal with a lot of kids at my job this week. It was Model UN at the local college and the students always show up. I hope you have a great week 🙂
    Ellie recently posted…Week In Review [Short and Sweet]My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 5:59 PM

      Model UN week sounds fascinating. I hope you got to partake in it.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  10. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar says

    April 18, 2016 at 9:50 AM

    Number of times you cease to amaze me: zero! What an exhausting and exciting time. Keep taking care of yourself (and using those cabbage leaves and ice packs!)

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:00 PM

      Oh yes, I intend to keep cabbage regularly stocked.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  11. Suzy says

    April 18, 2016 at 10:03 AM

    HA HA HA HA Oscar brought you home 5 birds?!?! He’s so thoughtful! I love that cat. Meghan, Ave is so sweet. You’re doing amazing and I’m really glad you have so much help and support. It takes a village! Wish I lived close to you so I could help too (mostly with Oscar).
    Suzy recently posted…Mileage Monday: Boston StyleMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:01 PM

      You’ll just have to move to Cleveland. Oscar agrees, so that settles it.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  12. Emiyl says

    April 18, 2016 at 10:12 AM

    Hehe some of your numbers are HUGE! I love it. 🙂 You make the mama journey seem real and unique and exciting. It’s one of the best jobs out there. 🙂

    This number: Number of Ave pictures taken: 3,256, made me SMILE so big. 🙂 You’re definitely treasuring all those moments.
    Emiyl recently posted…MIMM+WIR: Reasons to LOVE SnowMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:10 PM

      Thank goodness for camera phones. If I had to pay for all this film to e developed, I’d go bankrupt. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  13. Emily says

    April 18, 2016 at 10:16 AM

    Whoops I misspelled my name. 😀
    Emily recently posted…MIMM+WIR: Reasons to LOVE SnowMy Profile

    Reply
  14. Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says

    April 18, 2016 at 10:38 AM

    That is one beautiful nursery. I’m sure Oscar just thought he was adding to the decorations.

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:10 PM

      Oscar prefers to be the center of attention. I can’t say that I blame him.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  15. Lindsay Cotter says

    April 18, 2016 at 12:18 PM

    You are my hero! And I love your new life and little addition. Pure strength! Clean eats sore teets?

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:11 PM

      Clean Eats, Sore Teets definitely has a certain ring to it. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  16. Heather says

    April 18, 2016 at 3:11 PM

    Such a sweet little girl! I don’t think I appreciated those newborn days nearly enough… well, aside from the lack of sleep, I should have made the most of my maternity leave and done nothing but take care of myself and bebe.

    How sweet of Oscar to bring presents! 😉
    Heather recently posted…Week In Review – Sunshine and PooMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:22 PM

      The lack of sleep is a killer though.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  17. Amanda @ .running with spoons. says

    April 18, 2016 at 5:58 PM

    Projectile pooping, eh? I think I’d be okay going my whole life without ever seeing something like that. And do I even want to know how you found out that cabbage leaves are supposed to help with sore breasts? You’ve got me half tempted to try that myself when the PMS hits hard. Also, you may be the best non-mommy mommy blogger that I’ve ever come across. Love you. Give Ave a kiss from me.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…link love 4/17My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:25 PM

      Thanks Sunshine. I love the compliment. A non-mommy mommy blogger seems right for me.

      Someone told me about the cabbage leaves but I also found it on a google search as well for ways to reduce engorgement. It works too.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  18. Chelsea A says

    April 18, 2016 at 7:53 PM

    Can I say again how stinking precious she is!? Those little wrinkly feet ahh!

    LOL when I worked in public health in a prenatal nutrition group we used to always recommend using cabbage leave for sore boobs and I always wondered if anyone actually did it.
    Chelsea A recently posted…Tropical Mango Coconut Energy BallsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:30 PM

      The wrinkly feet are the best. So adorable.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  19. rachel @ athletic avocado says

    April 18, 2016 at 9:29 PM

    Oh my goodness congrats!!! She is beautiful 🙂
    rachel @ athletic avocado recently posted…Roasted Grapefruit Baklava Breakfast BowlMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:31 PM

      Thanks. I think so too.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  20. masala girl says

    April 18, 2016 at 10:49 PM

    LOL @ the cabbage! you seem to be doing alright, esp if you’re posting now 😉 i hope things continue going well and/or even better from now on! and the army will continue to grow 😀

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:31 PM

      Thanks!
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  21. Kristy @ Southern In Law says

    April 19, 2016 at 4:54 AM

    She is so precious, Meghan! It sounds like you have been KILLING it in the past week! Go mama, go!
    Kristy @ Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Healthy Ham and Cheese Cornbread BakesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:32 PM

      I think surviving is probably a more appropriate term here, but I’ll take killing it.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
      • Kristy @ Southern In Law says

        April 19, 2016 at 6:52 PM

        Surviving is a total success, in my books!
        Kristy @ Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Healthy Ham and Cheese Cornbread BakesMy Profile

        Reply
  22. melissa says

    April 19, 2016 at 6:18 AM

    I love this so so much!

    I’ve been following your journey (does that sound weird creeposh?), since I’m due in june. Love that even on little sleep and lots of … other stuff … you still have your sense of humor! Thanks for letting me know what I can expect.
    melissa recently posted…Training Tuesday: 8 months pregnantMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:33 PM

      A sense of humor helps you survive. At least it does for me. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  23. Sarena says

    April 19, 2016 at 8:43 AM

    You are killing me with all the cuteness! I am so happy for you! She is absolutely beautiful. Enjoy this time…it goes by so fast.

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:38 PM

      Thanks, I’d say I’m savoring every moment, but I’m so sleep deprived I can barely see straight. Ha! It’s worth it though.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  24. Jac says

    April 19, 2016 at 9:51 AM

    Congratulations. Ave is just divine!
    Jac recently posted…Crittenden EstateMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:43 PM

      Thanks; I think so too.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  25. Brittany says

    April 19, 2016 at 10:56 AM

    OHH my what a precious post. Leave it to you to make baby posts great!! I’m so happy things are rocking and rolling well and the mural looks great!
    Brittany recently posted…Cinnamon ZenMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:43 PM

      The mural suddenly works. Guess it was meant to be a nursery all along. Miss you.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  26. Catherine @ foodiecology says

    April 19, 2016 at 10:57 AM

    Cracking up!
    I am nodding my head at so many of these: the abandoned coffee, the leaky boobs, the diapers, the pics of baby, the lacking of spouse kisses (sad but true), gah the mesh panties!
    Thanks for the hilarious update and allowing me to relive the newborn days!
    Hope you are having the most magical time with sweet baby Ave Ruth and recovering well.
    Catherine @ foodiecology recently posted…Currently // April 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:44 PM

      I’m so glad you could relate to this post. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  27. Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut says

    April 19, 2016 at 4:09 PM

    As usual your post is amazing and real. It also makes me both terrified of having a baby and so excited somehow at the same time.

    Congrats, friend!! You’re kicking some serious butt as a mom already!!
    Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut recently posted…VEGGIE AVOCADO PINEAPPLE SMOOTHIE [ REVIEW + COUPON ]My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 19, 2016 at 6:45 PM

      Thanks. I appreciate it. It is exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  28. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table says

    April 20, 2016 at 1:12 PM

    I love this. All of it. Well, maybe not the projectile poo. Is that really a thing?!

    You two make a pretty baby!!!
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…My Version of Camping + WIAWMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 23, 2016 at 5:26 PM

      Projectile pooping is absolutely a thing. I can officially vouch for it.
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
      • Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table says

        April 27, 2016 at 2:15 AM

        I also just read this out loud to Vegas. She’s dying laughing. And a little drunky.
        Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…10 Random Products I LoveMy Profile

        Reply
        • Meghan says

          April 27, 2016 at 10:23 AM

          You made my day. Tell Vegas, or The Natural as I like to call her, I said Hi.
          Meghan recently posted…Week In Review: #28My Profile

          Reply
  29. Miss Polkadot says

    April 21, 2016 at 6:41 PM

    It’s taking me a decent amount of self-control to not just oooh and aaaw over how stinking cute Ave is. Though she really is. Also, her name is SO beautiful and the idea of the mural is so cute. I can’t wait for more posts like this – all the baby pictures, all the truth behind them – as I already told you you’d be my favourite mum blogger who isn’t a mum blogger.
    Projective pooping? That sounds … dangerous. I might need to ask my sister about that. Then again, she’s – hi, TMI – very content with project diaper-free baby.
    Poor Oscar doesn’t seem too fond of his little sister yet. I don’t know about his usual rate but four birds sound like a big meow for attention.Then again I guess that’s what all older siblings go through …
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Week in review: The Wannabe-Housewife EditionMy Profile

    Reply
    • Miss Polkadot says

      April 21, 2016 at 6:49 PM

      *projectile, not projective

      Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 23, 2016 at 5:27 PM

      Project diaper free baby???!!! What is that?
      Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Newborn by Numbers (#27)My Profile

      Reply
  30. Luce@FitSwissChick says

    April 24, 2016 at 3:21 PM

    I learn things from you I have never dreamed of – and maybe never wanted to 🙂
    But since you are talking about yourlself and little Miss Meg, I want to know everything.
    Luce@FitSwissChick recently posted…Selfishness may be a virtue.My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 25, 2016 at 6:45 AM

      You even get the backstory to all of this.

      Reply
  31. Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness says

    April 28, 2016 at 12:46 AM

    A huge CONGRATULATIONS on the healthy arrival of your little one! So precious. It sounds like you (and your boobs!) have been quite busy!
    Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness recently posted…Superfood Chocolate PB Chia Smoothie + Amazing Grass Giveaway!My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      April 28, 2016 at 6:31 AM

      Thanks Nicole. This is the most action my boobs have had in months. 😉

      Reply
  32. Melissa @ Mango About Town says

    May 7, 2016 at 12:23 PM

    She’s so precious – probably makes up for the projectile pooping. Seriously, cabbage leaves? I’ll have to write that one down.
    Melissa @ Mango About Town recently posted…April Half Marathon Training RecapMy Profile

    Reply

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