Despite my, at times, over inflated ego, I recognize I still have a lot to learn.
Patience, humility, better listening skills to name just a few, although I didn’t come here today to discuss my shortcomings. We have years to get into that stuff, or better yet, I should probably consult a therapist. Surely they’re more qualified to handle my neurosis than the world wide web.
Either way, I want to share some fascinating, probably only to me, tidbits of information I gleaned over the past week or so. To be clear, these are nowhere near Pearls of Wisdom. Rather, they’re things I found informative, intriguing, surprising, or in some cases, all three rolled into one; the trinity of shockdom.
1) I’m always amazed by how ridiculously frigid or scalding hot the water is on the rare occasion I step directly into the shower spray without a little temperature test first.
2) Then I’m shocked by how loud I can actually scream. By the way, if you cry out in the shower and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? “A very good question,” I say, “for minds more elevated than my own.”
3) Swass, as defined by the Urban Dictionary is “a non gender-specific term used to describe the sweat found in and around a person’s ass crack.” Yep, I was stunned by this intel and now I’m sharing it with all of you. You’re welcome.
4) I wonder if Swoobs is a thing too? Maybe Nike could work it into their next logo somehow. Just Boob It.
5) A cat getting comfortable in your lap sends a signal to your bladder, presenting itself in a sudden and overwhelming urge to pee. Not gonna lie, I made this one up, but I feel like there’s truth to it.
6) Flourless chocolate brownies taste more like fudge than brownies. I’m ok with that.
8) The Simpsons do exist. We can all rest easy now.
9) Unless you’re a professional athlete, more than five hours a week of intense activity falls into the over training category.*
10) Low carb diets can be harmful long-term to your gut flora, which is why I brought an entire loaf of Marathon Multigrain Bread to work this week, alongside a stick of butter. Second breakfast just got a whole lot sexier, for me and my stomach.
Thanks for letting me Think Out Loud today, Ms. Amanda. It is much appreciated, and I’m sure my readers agree, we are all the wiser for it. Let us go forth and spread the Swass knowledge.
Enlighten me. Please share a tidbit of information you recently discovered which set your world a kilter and your wheels a turning.