Or really just a cold and a bad sore throat, since my strep test came back negative. It feels like I’m swallowing shards of glass though, so that’s always a good time. My face is a faucet with no off switch, and there’s a high probability I smell too. ♫ I’m bringing sexy back. Them other boys don’t know how to act. ♫
Typically when I feel the first inkling of illness, I immediately call in reinforcements in the form of doubling my intake of nutrients, tripling my vitamin C, gargling with salt water, taking it easy, grabbing a nap, and waking up the next day feeling refreshed and back to my usual ornery self. This is my tried and true method, and it has worked well the last few years, including my most recent Pajama Day. Not this time though since I’ve been down and out for multiple days, to the point where I went and saw a doctor yesterday. Gasp!
While most people would wallow in their illness or pretend they are larger than life and barrel right through it, it just pisses me off. I am an irked, irritated, grumbling, bumbling, snotty mess. I mean seriously. How can I possibly be sick? Am I not super human? (rhetorical questions, no need to answer) I ingest enough bee pollen on a regular basis my immune system should be in peak conditioning. That mother trucker should have ninja skills, like Kung Fu Panda or Jackie Chan. He should be able to ward off five attackers with the pinky finger on his left hand, when we all know he’s right-handed.
I expect my immune system to fight, fight hard, and go down fighting. What it shouldn’t do is catch a silly, stupid little bug. I feel duped, a little tired and a lot cranky pants. Alright maybe I’m doing the wallowing thing. Obviously, I am a crappy patient who’s already completely caught up on Grey’s Anatomy and all the Housewives, sans Miami. I still can’t stomach those suckers.
As such, I don’t have a blog post for you today. I’m sure you understand, and if you want to send some chickenless noodle soup my way, I’d happily accept. I’ll catch you on the flip side or Instagram because social media does not stop for a simple virus, even if my immune systems does.*
*Kicks ground repeatedly with feet, all while muttering under her breath.
When was the last time you were sick, and how did you handle it? Are you a crappy patient too? I’m like a bear with a thorn in his paw. Good times, good times.