I’m not much of a complainer. (Please ignore my husband laughing hysterically in the background.)
The fact of the matter is I don’t fancy myself much of a whiner. Instead, I see the glass as half full, especially when it involves anything alcoholic. I’m the cat’s pajamas, the bees knees, an ideal human specimen exuding kindness and understanding at every turn. (Please ignore my entire family chortling wildly now.)
Despite my enhanced sense of self (I should have been a millennial), I’m not above a slight grievance from time to time. Truth be told, I dip my toe in the petty pool every so often, and I’ve decided to share my rumblings with all of you, simply so you know I’m just a regular Joe blow, without being an actual Joe or engaging in any blow. Synthetic substances aren’t my thing.
In any event, here’s a list of things I’ve been harping on lately.
Whenever I read about 45 (cough, not my president, cough) I see red, and I don’t just mean the Republican hue. I mean rage red, shake my fists at the sky red, mutter foul words under my breath red. I don’t understand how anyone voted for this narcissistic buffoon. Even if you agreed with only one thing he said, you had to know it came with a side of idiocracy, racism, sexism, homophobia, and anti-Islamic sentiments to name just a few.
Speaking of which, why do we get all hyped up about terrorist acts, yet ignore all the atrocities, which far exceed the former, committed by white men. I’m absolutely more concerned by a shifty Caucasian with an unfortunately small penis and an inferiority complex than I am by a black male in a hoodie or a woman in hijab. It’s 2017. It’s past time to let go of our intolerance and fear based judgements.
On a much lighter and less political note, I despise mosquitoes, also known as blood sucking rats with wings, mainly because they prey upon my flesh whenever they’re in my hood. I don’t know why they find me so appealing. Don’t they know I have zero self control and will unknowingly scratch my skin raw before I realize what I’ve done.
In that same vein, summertime and shorts don’t play well for me. It’s bad enough my legs are whiter than white, but they’re also covered in contusions. Everybody else is focused on their beach bodies and meanwhile, I’m trying not to get yet another black and blue on my glowing appendages. I literally got a bruise on top of a bruise this week. Who does that?
What is the deal with people validating their diet soda consumption? I don’t get it. I mean c’mon you drank a zero calorie pop, not snorted cocaine off 45’s bright orange navel. Why not just consume a drink with gasp, calories?
The Thirty Minute Baby Nap. You’ve finally managed to use the bathroom without a toddler clinging to your thrice bruised shins, shoveled a quick morsel of food down your throat so you don’t collapse from exhaustion and poured a glorious cup of coffee. You’re all set to sit down for a few minutes when Bam, the baby is awake.
On that note, the tiny dictator really is awake, which means I need to nip this post in the bud and tend to her needs. It’s probably for the best because nobody loves a whiner. Wine, on the other hand, we can bond over.
Thanks for letting me Think Out Loud, Ms. Amanda.
What are some of your pet peeves? Tell me I’m not the only one who struggles to keep their legs bruise free in the summer. I swear those corners leap out at me.
I’m with you on everything except the nap thing (my only child experience is what I read on your blog but I’m sure you’re right ☺️).
My only respite from the never ending mosquito attacks has been using this great, all natural spray from our local essential oil shop, smells like mint and vanilla and keeps them away so far. My biggest food related peeve is people who know I’m vegan but insist on telling me that a little -fill in the blank- won’t hurt me. I figure I’m a grown up ( most of the time) and pretty much can make my food choices on my own. Oh, and I won’t even mention the people at work who yell across the table asking if my water is vegan. (I guess I did mention it.) I don’t tell other people how to eat, honestly I don’t . Oh well………
That natural mosquito spray sounds wonderful, especially since it works and smells good.
I understand your food related pet peeves. As a (mostly) vegetarian, people poke fun at me all the time or what they think is fun. To me, it’s more irritating than funny though. I don’t harass you for eating a burger so I’m not sure why you need to mock my desire not to eat one.
Is your water vegan? Geesh, that’s awful.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
I LOVE you! I love you. Oh, how I love you. Sing it girl, I’m right there with you, or I have been there!
And in 4 years you’ll be standing at that bus stop with Ave, her carefully packed snack and lunch if it’s all day. and your camera, watch. her climb up those giant steps. Yes, you will be wiping a tear from your eye. Just go ahead and let everyone else down there believe it’s a tear of sadness, and for gosh sakes, hide that smirk of glee! I did it 4 times over.
I can’t say ‘his’ name either, or even say he or think he is leading “our?” country. I believe I will begin to use your reference, it’s fitting and not my favorite or lucky number.
I am also neon and glowing, and not in that gorgeous, milk and honey Nicole Kidman way. Here’s something to look forward to, (not) as I’ve aged, and my skin has thinned, and I’ve taken on a bluish tinge. I realize that now I am horsing in on your whine, but I too don’t get the opportunity often. I was brushing like crazy for a time and it’s immensely improved since I’ve been on prescription doses of both zinc and folic acid. Both were very low so I couldn’t say which has helped.
I can barely contain my smirk of glee when her grandparents pick her up for their day of play. At the same time, I think about her 1,000 in the few hours she’s gone. I also think about how nice and quiet the house is too. Ha!
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
The chortling wildly is an accurate description. The current crisis in our understanding and thinking is well stated I am very proud of you! Mom
Thanks Momma.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
Ooohhh I like it when you get feisty! Forget shorts on me, I’m over shorts on the kids. 5 steps out the door and one of them has fallen and scraped a knee which takes them 45 minutes to get over. I’m going to send them on in knee pads. Also, the naps might be over FOR GOOD in our house. I can’t even make my brain accept it…my body certainly isn’t. Also, the diet coke thing is weird. We should start ripping the labels off all the sodas in the grocery store to mess with their heads, like reverse graffiti
Jamie recently posted…What the Very Young and the Very Old Do for Us in the Middle
No more naps. Dear god, what will you do? My heart aches for you.
I’m totally down with the reverse soda can graffiti.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
Yeah, I don’t like to talk about the giant buffoon either. Sigh. So disappointing on so many levels.
I don’t think the bruises on my legs bother me as much as the lovely spider veins and varicose veins that showed up after my kids. A little fake tan goes a long way, though, so I go that route and pretty much don’t care anymore. I shall never be Gal Gadot pretty, so it is what it is. Ha!
I’m with you on the mosquitoes as well. My son and I get eaten alive and it sucks. I hate that I can’t even enjoy being outdoors because Minnesota’s true state bird is in fact the mosquito.
Also… adult acne. Why is my acne worse now than it ever was??? Not cool!!
I still wear shorts, I just look like a victim of a horrible fall. It’s too damn hot and I’m still all sorts of post pregnancy hormonal. When does that go away?
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
So can you just run for president? I’d feel a hell of a lot safer, and laugh a lot more (at least in a less flabbergasted/disbelieving way). Ave can help you write your speeches are move a law for longer naps for all. I’m here with my fists and wine glass raised!
Cora recently posted…Levels of Stimulation: Where Is Your Sweet Spot?
I don’t want that kind of responsibility but I’ll see if the kid is up for it. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
Dang, you’re sexy when you’re grumpy.
Andrew’s ex wife, we’ll call her “W”, for nearly 6 years now has treated me and my kids and Callum like crap. She has told my two step-kids (the kids she had with Andrew) that Callum isn’t their real brother, and that I am all sorts of things that I can’t mention on here. It’s EXTREME. I’m sure it’s called transference or projection or some other psycho-analytical term, but whatever it is, it’s CRAZY! So, 11 weeks ago tomorrow, she dropped Ethan and Kylah off here at 5pm (we have them one week on, one week off from 5pm Friday to 5pm Friday) and for some reason or another, she got out of her car. Callum was so cute and went running out there in his undies and tee-shirt and she sweetly said in a syrupy voice, “Heyyyy, buddy! Can I have a high-five!!!” and he gave her a high five. Andrew had to physically block me from going out there and ripping her to shreds. I’ve never been in a fight before, but that was going to be the day.
Ever since that Friday, I have done everything I can to be out of the house with Callum and my kids at 5pm. Over my literal dead body will she ever get that opportunity again.
Suzy recently posted…Let’s Share Your Mercedes
Kill her with kindness and prove her nasty words about you wrong. Since there’s children involved, it’s really all you can do. An ass whupping would feel more satisfying but wouldn’t really solve anything.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
Oh, no I’d never treat her poorly, especially in front of the kids. It just feels good to vent to other adults, anonymously, or whatnot. It was the closest I’ve ever felt to a confrontation was that day when Andrew stopped me from going out there but I highly doubt I would have done or said anything. I can’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag.
Suzy recently posted…So Now I Can Talk About It
I understand. Vent away my friend and I’ll teach you how to fight just in case…
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
i have no idea what you speak of, nothing ever bothers me ever. as i type this and my nose grows a few inches….
honestly i just have the usual – seeing people text or one their phone like FB while driving… oh for the love of all things mighty why do you do this??? people in our city do this and it’s just not illegal enough i guess. it drives me crazy.
and seeing dog poop at the park where the kids play. why??? that’s just not cool. my kid likes grass and i would prefer she play with poop free grass. or at least if she’s playing with shit it should be her own shit. at least!
I hadn’t even thought of dog poop in the grass. Oh man, yet another thing to watch out for. Ave started walking independently this week so my nerves are working overtime. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
NOOO to the bruises, big fat bummer on that. But you’ve got some sexxaaayy legs so you gotta just let them fly free. Suddenly I’m taken back to photos of us at the Holden Arboretum, bare legs and all!
Brittany recently posted…Trinity College / Guinness Storehouse
I still let those legs fly free, although I certainly wish they looked less like a battle field. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
Let it out, girl, let it out. Totally seconding Cora’s motion as you for president. I’d even rather have Ave as our dictator.
Kaylee recently posted…Recent Eats: May
I told Cora I don’t want that kind of responsibility but I’ll see if the tiny dictator is interested. 😉
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
omg those unexpected short naps were the worst! they were almost worse than no nap at all lol
meredith (The Cookie ChRUNicles) recently posted…Friday Favorites & Escaping For Cake
The short naps are false expectations are undelivered promises. They really are almost worse than no naps.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
I tend to do my best complaint when Im hungry. So when I start to whine my family members tend to shove food in my face.
Patrick@looneyforfood.com recently posted…How to make Fluffy Slime
Oh yes, being hangry absolutely plays a strong role in my ability to rant and rave. Usually I’m just in need of some food. Ha.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
I’m going on record as saying that the 45th “president” is probably on of the best things to have happened to us as a country.
Now un-clench, everybody – hear me out.
Before? Engagement in politics was sorta low – people grumbled about the war, marched for the climate, and wrote their elected officials.
But not like now.
Now? We are glowing beasts of fury, armed with smart technology, money and time, and we have nothing better to do than re-dedicate our lives to watching every tweet, every slight, every hypocrisy with cell phone, bank cards and social media accounts snapping to attention. We watch the courts. We watch Texas. We watch the BBC. We crave information about voting rights, gerrymandering, Russian meddling and ties that are way too long for common people.
I love our process right now. THIS is what we were put here to do. John Adams is toasting us right now. He shrieking at us to wake up, get engaged, RUN FOR OFFICE, and withhold our money (the only thing with power now) from things that we morally disagree with. THIS is what an informed electorate looks like. And if you think we are lean and mean now, just imagine what would happen if we could somehow get the other 48% of Americans that didn’t vote last year to listen, learn, and vote their conscience.
You should be mad as hell. You should spend every day thinking of the next thing you’re gonna do that will disrupt this hateful agenda in the loudest, shrillest way possible. Ave will see that real women have bruises on their white-ass shins and speak their mind, and get chippy when faced with a government that wants to stuff us back into the 19th century to satisfy their raging and idiotic sense of propriety and hyper-inflated sense of self-worth.
I’ve got your back.
In peace and hard at work – armed with granola and a glass of Prosecco. Consider it BRUNG.
Take care, muchacha.
You do have a point. I shall unclench and concede.
It’s lovely to see you in my comments again. I hope life is treating you well.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
I don’t think I have to tell how how 45 makes my blood boil. The whole fucking GOP, really. Why won’t the DO SOMETHING??? Come on, 2018!!!
But thanks for making me think about the orange one’s navel. *shudder.*
I’m happy to be of service. Besides better his navel than a few degrees lower.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
I love to rant – sometimes I think a little too much! Trump is one of the main subjects of my rants as of late. Also on the list are people who text and drive, major companies who don’t recycle, and 18 wheelers who ride up on my tail on the highway. Ugh don’t even get my started.
Chelsea A recently posted…2017 Cook My Books Challenge: May
Texting and driving is so dangerous. We really need better laws for this stuff.
Meghan recently posted…Airing My Grievances
I’m a fellow bruise-on-bruiser and shorts season truly is traumatic sometimes! Our poor appendages.
I nailed my thigh on the corner of the coffee table yesterday. Damn, just when I thought my legs were clearing up. At least, I’m in great company.
Get those grievances out there for the public to hear whenever you want. I’m all against bottling up those negative feelings inside.
Even not living in the US I feel so enraged whenever I hear about new damage done – oh hi there, ignoring climate change – or just stupidity voiced by that jerk considering himself boss of your country. Any time an article mentions just the slightest hint of an early end to his reigning, I get slightly excited/hopeful.
There are way too many things I get angry about on an almost daily basis. If you’re up for ranting, I’m your girl.
Miss Polkadot recently posted…Good good links #187
I can only imagine how 45 makes us look to the rest of the world, and I’m hoping people realize he does not have everyone’s support. There are still some rationale people left here, lots of us in fact, despite the election.