There are days where I am a walking contradiction.
I might not have multiple personalities, and I don’t expect Sybil to be calling any time soon. I sure do give the word oxymoron a run for its money though, not to be confused with an actual moron. Whew, I ‘m glad we cleared that up.
Let me give you some examples, Out Loud that is.
I’m a bit of a neat freak, and I abhor clutter. Even this is a trifle too much for me.
Yet, I am a food hoarder. I blame my CSA for all those crazy veggies and Costco for their 20 lb. bags of potatoes. I do like my spuds.
I love me some Saturday afternoon shenanigans, especially when it involves day drinking. The more, the merrier, and I mean the people, not the booze; alright fine, maybe both.
During the week though, I’d rather be completely anti-social when I get home from the office. I’d happily turn down dinner plans in favor of sitting at home, braless, with nothing more than a peanut butter chocolate smoothie for company. Ah, sweet bliss.
I love to belt it out. Singing, that is.
Yet when it happens, Oscar runs in terror, small children cry out, and the Hubby gently offers to pay me to stop. I’m not sure what that’s about.
I can speak eloquently about most things when I’m feeling it.
I giggle every time someone says Balls.
I can pick up a live chipmunk with my bare hands. Okay, okay, so technically I used a rag. I did stop to take selfies with him though. That counts for bonus points, clearly.
A spider will send me running in terror or at the very least, out of a boat, in the middle of a lake.
I call myself a Vanilla Gorilla. #poundschest.
(My head, Linda Hamilton’s body. Just to be clear)
Then I greet everyone by saying, “Good Morning, Sunshine.” Basically, I’m the nicest vanilla gorilla you’ll ever meet.
I don’t like to do anything which might cause me to break a nail.
I did a Tough Mudder two summers ago and loved it. I broke all the nails.
I may dress all fancy; sometimes.
Yet, when I open my mouth, a slew of sass and sometimes obscenities comes out.
Last but certainly not least, I’m a quietly proclaimed vegetarian.
I have a weird thing for hot dogs and ate my first one in years this past July. It was good too.
Your turn. Tell me some of your own contradictions. Go.