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You are here: Home / Reflections / I Am An Oxymoron

I Am An Oxymoron

September 4, 2015 by Meghan 54 Comments

There are days where I am a walking contradiction.

I might not have multiple personalities, and I don’t expect Sybil to be calling any time soon. I sure do give the word oxymoron a run for its money though, not to be confused with an actual moron. Whew, I ‘m glad we cleared that up.

Let me give you some examples, Out Loud that is.

I’m a bit of a neat freak,  and I abhor clutter. Even this is a trifle too much for me.   

Dining Room Shelves

Yet, I am a food hoarder. I blame my CSA for all those crazy veggies and Costco for their 20 lb. bags of potatoes. I do like my spuds.  

Tower of Tomatoes

I love me some Saturday afternoon shenanigans, especially when it involves day drinking. The more, the merrier, and I mean the people, not the booze; alright fine, maybe both.

Day Drinking - Alcohol, Cider, Mule, Beer

During the week though, I’d rather be completely anti-social when I get home from the office. I’d happily turn down dinner plans in favor of sitting at home, braless, with nothing more than a peanut butter chocolate smoothie for company. Ah, sweet bliss.

Chocolate Date Smoothie

I love to belt it out. Singing, that is.

Yet when it happens, Oscar runs in terror, small children cry out, and the Hubby gently offers to pay me to stop. I’m not sure what that’s about.

Oscar

I can speak eloquently about most things when I’m feeling it.

I giggle every time someone says Balls.

I can pick up a live chipmunk with my bare hands. Okay, okay, so technically I used a rag. I did stop to take selfies with him though. That counts for bonus points, clearly.

Meg and the Chipmunk

A spider will send me running in terror or at the very least, out of a boat, in the middle of a lake.

I call myself a Vanilla Gorilla. #poundschest.

Meg Hamilton

(My head, Linda Hamilton’s body. Just to be clear)

Then I greet everyone by saying, “Good Morning, Sunshine.” Basically, I’m the nicest vanilla gorilla you’ll ever meet.

I don’t like to do anything which might cause me to break a nail.

I did a Tough Mudder  two summers ago and loved it. I broke all the nails.

Vanilla Gorilla Meg Collage

I may dress all fancy; sometimes.

New Year's Eve Meg Skull Caps and Faux Fur

Yet, when I open my mouth, a slew of sass and sometimes obscenities comes out.

Last but certainly not least, I’m a quietly proclaimed vegetarian.

Easy Oven Roasted Vegetables

Easy Oven Roasted Vegetables

I have a weird thing for hot dogs and ate my first one in years this past July. It was good too.

Your turn. Tell me some of your own contradictions. Go.

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Filed Under: Reflections Tagged With: CSA, funny, happy, healthy, mental health, music, vegetarian

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Comments

  1. Kirsten says

    September 4, 2015 at 7:20 AM

    Robert Barke would be happy to take that hound off your hands.

    Just sayin’
    Kirsten recently posted…Peanut Butter, Spinach and Banana Smoothie–an Allergen Friendly RecipeMy Profile

    Reply
    • Kirsten says

      September 4, 2015 at 8:52 AM

      Good hell. Can you tell I commented w/o my iced chai?

      Robert BarkeR would be happy to take that CHIPPIE off your hands. With his mouth.

      I thought I was special for being called Sunshine by you. Reminds me of my mom, who used to call me Sally Sunshine.

      Used to.

      I am not a contradiction unless we add in the interesting facet of introverts being bloggers.
      Kirsten recently posted…Peanut Butter, Spinach and Banana Smoothie–an Allergen Friendly RecipeMy Profile

      Reply
      • Meghan says

        September 5, 2015 at 9:03 AM

        You are special, Sunshine. 🙂

        The cats might tussle with Robert Barker over the rights of that chipmunk. They were the ones after all who carted him in, and I was the horrible mother who stole their prize.

        Of course, introversion and blogging. Dammit, how did I miss that one? I needed my iced chai apparently.
        Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

        Reply
      • Miss Polkadot says

        September 5, 2015 at 5:16 PM

        I thought I was special for being called that, too. Especially because it works very well with my [real life] name. We can feel hurt together .
        Miss Polkadot recently posted…Date your dietMy Profile

        Reply
        • Meghan says

          September 6, 2015 at 10:32 AM

          Aw no need to feel hurt. I like to think of everybody as Sunshine. It makes me feel good as well as the person on the receiving end. We can share the love, yes?
          Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

          Reply
  2. Pip {Cherries & Chisme} says

    September 4, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    I get that with my singing too. I think we are so good that they get jealous and can’t handle it? That must be it.

    I am a former ‘party girl’ *shudders* turned nights on the couch. I eat extra veggies so I can have extra dessert. I ride my bike to save money on buses, and then get an uber home later that night because I’m tired. And I kill myself in my workouts, to spend the rest of the day sat on my bum. #balance?
    Pip {Cherries & Chisme} recently posted…The Liebster AwardMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:04 AM

      I like your contradictions, especially the killer workouts followed by bum sitting. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  3. Michele @ paleorunningmomma says

    September 4, 2015 at 7:58 AM

    I’m the same way with being social – I’m so regimented that I separate weekends and weekdays pretty strictly in my head!

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:07 AM

      I have a clear divide too. I might even be two separate people: weekend Meghan and weekday Meghan. 🙂 Glad to know I’m not alone.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  4. meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles says

    September 4, 2015 at 8:24 AM

    I am all for anti-social weeknights while braless. Best feeling. Although, I have been known to unhook the bra in the middle of the day back when I worked in an office. I just can’t take the pressure of a bra sometimes!
    meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles recently posted…Thinking Out Loud September 3, 2015My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:08 AM

      Bras are entirely too much work. Clearly, we need to move to Europe so we can operate more freely without them.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  5. Jen says

    September 4, 2015 at 9:49 AM

    I can relate to so much in this post! You crack me up 🙂 Have a great Friday!

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:08 AM

      My work here is done then. 🙂 🙂

      Have a great weekend.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  6. Suzy says

    September 4, 2015 at 10:05 AM

    That chipmunk pic is hilarious. So bizarre. What’s my contradiction? Jeez… I’m not sure. Maybe the fact that I run 3:10 marathons fueled by a night of red wine and Indian food?
    Suzy recently posted…Blended Family Friday: UnappetizingMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:09 AM

      That’s a pretty good contradiction.

      I also have a picture with a flying squirrel. Life with cats is interesting.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  7. danielle says

    September 4, 2015 at 2:37 PM

    pahahahahahaha i giggle at the word testes. actually my husband and i both crack up… we’re both 8 years old, i think he’s 8 and i’m more like 5. which means i’m more like 12… which means he’s more like 5. sorry did i just ruin your day with that nonsense? please forgive me. i’m feeling teste. hahahahahaha i can’t stop myself!
    i love your fancy dress. it’s all sparkly like and 20’s. i love love love!
    i was just pondering on how much of a oxymoronic freak i feel like, too. i like being in the shadows, behind the scenes if you will. but throw me on a dance floor with some good music and suddenly i’m like diana ross or even worse, my mother who truly TRULY believes she is a dancing queen and has been searching the country for ABBA cover bands. Zeus and all gods, help us.
    i am constantly contradicting myself. like i clean my dogs with baby wipes after our walks, yet let them kiss and lick my face knowing in the back of my mind that they lick their own butts or private parts…. and then my face. their butts. yeah, i basically live in a giant pink bubble called DENIAL and it’s totally fine.
    ignorance is bliss.
    TESTES and happy friday. balls 😀
    danielle recently posted…Saving my Sanity Through ListsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:11 AM

      I want to go dancing with you and your mother. You’ll have to leave the butt licking pooches at home of course. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  8. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table says

    September 4, 2015 at 5:11 PM

    1. Kaluha would be good in that weekday chocolate smoothie.
    2. Balls.
    3. You also ate bacon in San DIego. Just saying… 😉
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…Cornbread Waffle Breakfast Sandwich [Recipe]My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 5, 2015 at 9:11 AM

      You are so right. Kaluha would be good.

      I ate bacon TWICE in San Diego.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  9. Brittany says

    September 5, 2015 at 11:28 AM

    I’m the same way with clutter/food. Although, my food much be fresh and organized. If it’s not going to be eaten that week there is no place for it in my kitchen. SO with that said, I don’t buy more than I need. So I guess that means I’m not the same haha. I can’t wait to see you sing in read life, with the mouth of a sailor.
    Brittany recently posted…No Bake Coconut Creme Breakfast PieMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 6, 2015 at 10:58 AM

      We can make up entire songs with curse words when you’re here. It’ll be just like hip hop.

      Also, I added some Fall like activities to our list just for you.

      I used to buy only what I needed. A CSA doesn’t give me that luxury though. Case in point, I have a crisper drawer full of bell peppers right now: all different shapes, colors and sizes too. Rough guess, I’d say there’s 25 peppers in there. What the hell am I going to do with all those peppers? ‘Eh, I’ll figure it out. 🙂 Actually I’ve already got the start of a plan.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  10. Miss Polkadot says

    September 6, 2015 at 11:19 AM

    Why in the world do you need to bring up this topic and make me spill my darkest secrets?? Secrets that were meant to be kept like the fact I stole/borrowed my pastry spatula sometime ago and didn’t even remember when she asked if I’d taken it. It’s basically mine now, right?! Wow .. .talk aboit a tangent.
    We happen to have a lot of similar contradicting traits and I’m not surprised by that. One of those that confuses me about myself is my selective neat freakishness [not a word, yes]: while I do have the habit of several bags/shoes/you name it lying on the floor don’t even pile anything up on my table. Same goes for my bedroom: let’s not look at the floor but keep the bed tidied at all times. And I expect you to be one time when we want to go somewhere but give me five more minutes, okay? I make myself laugh on a daily basis.
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Good good links #106My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 7, 2015 at 7:50 AM

      I never make my bed. In fact, the bedroom is the one spot the neat freak doesn’t extend to. Go figure. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  11. Sam @ PancakeWarriors says

    September 6, 2015 at 11:22 AM

    I too am a food hoarder. Oh sigh I love this! And the chipmunk, you are a beast!! 🙂
    Sam @ PancakeWarriors recently posted…Death to Diet FoodMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 7, 2015 at 7:50 AM

      Thanks. Rescuing live chipmunks from the jaws of my felines is a specialty of mine.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  12. Amanda @ .running with spoons. says

    September 6, 2015 at 8:12 PM

    I hate clutter, but you should see the floor of my bedroom — clothes and shoes and purses EVERYWHERE. And the worst part is that most of them are black, so I can’t even pick out a piece I’m looking for without going through ALL the things. And speaking of black clothes… I’m probably one of the happiest and most positive people you’ll meet, but I refuse to wear any colour because it just doesn’t feel like ‘me.’ Makes absolutely no sense…
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. link love 9/6 .My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 7, 2015 at 7:56 AM

      This is true. I’m pretty sure the only other color I’ve seen you wear is grey and it’s usually under something black. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  13. Jen @ Chase the Red Grape says

    September 7, 2015 at 2:51 AM

    I am with you on the clutter – I hate it! I swear moving to Australia was an awesome way to downsize and really focus on ‘what do I need’! And I also think that week day evenings should simply be classed as chill out, home time – I just want a sofa and my david beside me with some good food in a bowl that I only need a fork to eat it with!
    I adore meat and couldn’t live without it. Yet most of my favourite meals are veggie ones!
    Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…What I ate Wednesday!My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 7, 2015 at 7:57 AM

      That’s an interesting contradiction, although probably a pretty good health conscious one. Little bit of meat, lots of veggies.

      I’m the same way at night.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  14. Heather@hungryforbalance says

    September 7, 2015 at 4:16 AM

    I love your posts Meghan! They seriously make my day (and make me laugh at the thought of balls…)
    I think we are all walking contradictions. I am a total introvert and socially awkward, but I love blogging and sharing my inner most secrets.
    I usually eat vegetarian, but when I get a craving for a hamburger, I eat it.

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 7, 2015 at 7:58 AM

      Aw, thanks for the sweet comment. I very much appreciate it.

      Balls… hee, hee.
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  15. Khushboo says

    September 7, 2015 at 4:41 AM

    Haha this is awesome- I can definitely identify with the oxymoron quality! I love getting dressed up over the weekend yet when I spend 99% of the rest of my week in tracks. I shop far too much and despite a closet full of brand new clothes, I still wear the same 4 shirts. I am extremely passionate about working out yet love love lazy days in bed with good TV. And to think, this is just off the top of my head ;)!
    Khushboo recently posted…Eating out in LondonMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 7, 2015 at 7:59 AM

      Good lazy days in bed with some Netflix are the best. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…I Am An OxymoronMy Profile

      Reply
  16. lindsay says

    September 7, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    that makes two of us. An the clutter –> yes, i abhor. but same with fridge though. I go through phases. and I will gladly support you on your loving vanilla gorilla morning phrases. SUNSHINE! I love it!
    lindsay recently posted…Crock Pot BBQ Taco Salad {Gluten Free}My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 8, 2015 at 6:04 PM

      Ah, I totally need to get in there and organize my fridge. It’s crazy at the moment.
      Meghan recently posted…Ratatouille RecipeMy Profile

      Reply
  17. Jayne says

    September 7, 2015 at 5:47 PM

    I often tell people it is so great that they are resting or having a rest day and that I myself do once a week, however I often fill my rest day with long walks and long to do lists.
    I just got a new hair dryer, however I wear my hair up most days…
    Another great one, I LOVE giving personalized gifts, however i’m often the one to show up to any given party with just a card and gift card enclosed. I get overwhelmed and then forget.

    Love this post Love this idea, Love you!
    Jayne recently posted…Currently.My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 8, 2015 at 6:05 PM

      You gotta change that. Rest days are for book reading, naps and Netflix. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Ratatouille RecipeMy Profile

      Reply
  18. Carmy says

    September 7, 2015 at 7:03 PM

    Ha! I totally get it. I can be a neat freak but my room is an “organized mess”

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 8, 2015 at 6:05 PM

      Organized mess is a great way to put it. I bet you know exactly where everything is too.
      Meghan recently posted…Ratatouille RecipeMy Profile

      Reply
      • Carmy says

        September 8, 2015 at 10:26 PM

        Yup! And whenever it’s cleaned or someone tries to clean it, I can never find anything!
        Carmy recently posted…Monday on the Run #28My Profile

        Reply
  19. Judy @ Chocolaterunsjudy says

    September 10, 2015 at 7:48 AM

    Actually kind of a toughie.

    I’m a sedentary person who loves fitness and running long.

    I won’t eat a lobster because it’s cooked alive but I’ll eat a lobster roll.

    I struggle to maintain my weight yet I have tons of nut butter & dark chocolate in the house (which used to be trigger foods for me, but thankfully no longer).

    And Oscar is so cute!
    Judy @ Chocolaterunsjudy recently posted…Will Galloway run/walk be successful for me?My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 10, 2015 at 6:30 PM

      Oscar is my buddy.

      And like you, I have a pantry full of nut butter and chocolate. I like it that way. Congrats on them no longer being a trigger food for you. That’s fantastic.
      Meghan recently posted…Random Ramblings and Senseless Mutterings Yet AgainMy Profile

      Reply
  20. Julie @ Running in a Skirt says

    September 10, 2015 at 8:33 AM

    So funny! Some of the best weekends are ones without real outfits.
    Julie @ Running in a Skirt recently posted…Oven Baked Sweet Potato ChipsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 10, 2015 at 6:31 PM

      Agreed, especially sans pants. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…Random Ramblings and Senseless Mutterings Yet AgainMy Profile

      Reply
  21. Jill says

    September 10, 2015 at 9:22 AM

    Haha I would love to know the story behind that chipmunk photo!
    I’m the same way after work. After getting a workout in all I want to do is go home and VEG.
    Jill recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #1My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 10, 2015 at 6:32 PM

      The short version is my cats brought him into the house alive, which meant I had to somehow get him out. Picking him up seemed to be the most viable option.

      I am officially home from work for the day and totally vegging out right now. Great minds think alike.
      Meghan recently posted…Random Ramblings and Senseless Mutterings Yet AgainMy Profile

      Reply
  22. Lucie@FitSwissChick says

    September 11, 2015 at 4:44 PM

    Gosh, I love the fancy dress. WHEN will we go out with crazy clothes, twerking, dancing on bar chairs and singing the shit out of us? It needs to happen.
    Also, daydrinking. Except at Blend, I can’t remember a day with you when we did NOT daydrink. Blend did not offer enough booze, clearly. IthinkIgrabbedallthecocktailvouchersfromeveryoneonthefirstnightandwasdrunkinnotime
    Lucie@FitSwissChick recently posted…Recovered or not?My Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 14, 2015 at 5:33 AM

      Hey, if I remember correctly and I totally do, I went to the liquor store when we were at Blend. Y’all were hanging out at Whole Foods and I was buying booze. 🙂

      Reply
  23. Rachael @ Catch Me if You Can says

    September 16, 2015 at 3:45 PM

    I love healthy eating but baking is my closeted passion. I made the best cookies…ever 🙂 Love your contradictions all of them made me smile!

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 17, 2015 at 8:11 AM

      So you’re saying I need to try some of these cookies of yours. 🙂 I could do that.
      Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The What I See EditionMy Profile

      Reply
  24. Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut says

    September 21, 2015 at 3:45 PM

    So I hate clutter, but I tend to be super messy..and then get upset about how messy I am. #weirdo

    I love singing when I’m by myself at home, but Zoey is always gravely concerned something is wrong and rushes to comfort me. It’s the cutest thing ever because she’s generally a leave-me-alone-dont-pet-me-too-much-or-I-bite-you cat.

    I am exactly the same when I come home after a full day of work around people. I want to be alone!! But not alone for too long otherwise I go bonkers. I’m sure this is normal though, right?
    Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut recently posted…Chicago Fun with The Laughing CowMy Profile

    Reply
    • Meghan says

      September 21, 2015 at 7:55 PM

      Normal is a relative concept so I say sure, you’re normal. Or not normal if that’s preference. I personally prefer the latter. 🙂
      Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The What I See EditionMy Profile

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Liebster Award: Who am I? | i sweat sriracha says:
    September 6, 2015 at 3:47 PM

    […] that make me a lunatic, or insane, or confused, or just normal? funny, Meghan just did a post about this concept, too! and yes i always am a walking contradiction.. it’s just how i roll. […]

    Reply
  2. Healthy Apple Pie Pancakes with Warm Maple Syrup - Clean Eats, Fast Feets says:
    October 15, 2015 at 7:56 AM

    […] always been a bit of an oxymoron, and apparently I still refer to myself as a girl, even though my actual age dictates otherwise. […]

    Reply

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I’m Meghan, CEO of City Hippie granola, a food blogger, and fit(ish) momma of a toddler keeping it real in Cleveland. Coffee is my higher power, followed by veggies and cheese or cheese and veggies or veggies with cheese.

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