I consider myself to be an expert in many fields.
Oh and by expert, I mean self-created validation. There’s no schooling or really anything to support my conclusion, aside from own ego. A contrary presentation of all things factual and scientific – hello boring- has not held back my own creative imagination; not when it comes to wisdom. You see, I am a fount of knowledge and a wealth of information and today, I want to share it with all of you.
Before I inflict upon you my pearls of wisdom, you should know I obtained my street smarts from the school of hard knocks. Despite the rainbows and unicorns which make up the majority of my formative years, I also had my share of tumultuous experiences growing up and even in early adulthood. Some days, weeks, and events were not always a walk in the park. Life changing health scares will do that to you, although as a result, I learned some valuable life lessons.
And away we go.
Stop and smell the roses; or even the rosemary.
Go to the grocery store hungry. It’s when you buy all the good stuff.
Don’t be a douche bag, an asshat or a racist, which are pretty much the same thing.
Laugh. A lot. Laugh some more. Laugh so much it hurts and you spit your drink out through your nose and across the table.
Cook with fresh herbs whenever possible. It makes a world of difference.
Instead of greed, practice gratitude.
Don’t settle.
Be willing to change.
Ten pounds only matters if it impacts your health.
Never leave cheese unattended. Not if you want it to be there when you get back.
Work smarter, not harder.
Be open to others and their ways, unless of course they’re a homicidal maniac and then I suggest you run in the opposite direction. Fast.
Be goofy. Be silly. Make a fool of yourself. It builds character.
Lick the beater. Never the knife.
Love yourself for who you are at this very moment.
Mean it.
Red toenails are always sexy.
If it’s not going to matter in a week or next month, don’t let it bother you now.
Unplug. Often.
(source)
Invest in a good quality knife. It will save you hours in the kitchen.
Keep your friends close.
Don’t keep your enemies closer. Instead, get them out of your life.
Buy extra bananas. Turn the leftovers into baked goods.
Ask for help when you need it.
Live within your means.
Wear two pairs of socks in the winter. It will help keep you warm.
Eat lots of veggies.
Show everybody respect. They don’t need to earn it. You’re not the Dalai Lama, well unless of course you actually are, in which case, “Welcome, I’m honored you read my blog.”
Meditate (That one’s for you D.L. Can you I call you D.L.? Let’s be besties, m’kay.).
Recycle. It’s the right thing to do.
If you see a sunset, take five minutes and watch the hell out of that thang.
Don’t take a bad day out on those around you.
Never piss into the wind. This was the Hubby’s two cents. I can’t vouch for this one, but it sounds solid.
Engage.
Last, although certainly not least, eat pancakes for breakfast. Stuff them with sweet potatoes, cauliflower, cheese and spinach.
To be clear, while I preach all of these things, I don’t always practice them, although I do try, especially the eat lots of veggies bit. It’s good to be a work in progress.
What pearls of wisdom would you offer?
I love this one.
And I love you.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
This is wonderful. Especially the Dalai Lama (Hello).
I lick the knife… What can I say? I like to take risks.
Mine would be – use your body and appreciate all it can do for you. My mum’s disabled and it’s really taught me how incredible and underappreciated our bodies are. You never know what’s coming, so make the most of what it can do now 🙂
Pip {Cherries & Chisme} recently posted…{Review} Pure Taste London
The Dalai Lama bit was the Hubby’s favorite part too.
Appreciating your body is such a great pearl of wisdom. Thanks for sharing and telling me about your mum.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
This is absolutely the best wisdom I’ve read yet on the internet! I try to follow them all too, though again, trying, not always succeeding! Thank you for sharing.
Anna International recently posted…Looking In the Rear View Mirror
Thanks Anna! I really appreciate that. I figure so long as we keep on trying, we’re doing A-Okay because at the end of the day, we’re all works in progress.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
Of course I love all of them, but I love your Hubby’s piece of piss wisdom the most. I laughed. Loud. In the office.
Some pieces of wisdom from your #vanillagorilla 1978 sista:
Spend Sundays on PJ’s, drinking team hot chocolate, baking and watching trash TV. It’s the best way to waste time. (You can have a little sex too if there’s a chance. It’s like cinnamon on a caffe latte. )
Wear lipgloss and mascara.
Wrinkle your nose when you laugh. It looks like a real laugh on pics.
Use salt in sweet baked goods. It’s the best trick ever to make it even more tasty.
Scratch a plan from time to time andgo for a spontaneous adventure. Even better with the hubby.
Don’t give a shit.
Lucie@FitSwissChick recently posted…Changes?
Throw in a yoga glass and that’s how I spent my Sunday. See, I’m already taken in your wisdom by sheer mental telepathy.
Love the wrinkly nose trick. I shall spend the next thirty minutes practicing that.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
My act of kindness for today is giving you all the cheese that comes my way…I should probably stop licking the peanut butter knife but I am a dare devil and just this morning, I decided to always buy extra bananas because they will never go to waste.
meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles recently posted…Weekend Thoughts Per Picture
All the cheese that comes your way….you’re gonna give it all to me…? Really. You might just be my new BFF. I hope you’re cool with that.
We should have extra bananas on hand. Always.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
this is great, and i totally appreciate them and agree. don’t be a dick is my version of your ‘don’t be an douche bag’ – simple but true. i’ve been a dick and can be a dick, so keeping myself in check at all times is helpful. that’s where the meditation and gratitude journaling comes in. i find that when i’m relaxed and note all my blessings, i’m less of a dick. win-win!
since 2013 i have been writing some good things that happened at the end of the day in my notes, call it my ‘what went well’ list, and i just pick 3 or more things that went well each day. it makes me realize that goood stuff happens all the time, we just tend to forget. at least i do, but even a crappy day has to have at least something good, even if it was me getting to work safely without harm. to myself or anyone. it’s the little things that make life good 🙂
The newlywed is back!! I hope you had a wonderful wedding filled with dancing, booze, and cheese…not necessarily in that order.
A gratitude journal is a great idea. I used to keep one, although I’ve been slacking. Maybe I should get back on that.
Oh thank ya!!! Yessss the wedding was a blast – that was my wish and it came true. Booze, dancing, more booze, cheese, then more dancing until it just got messy. Bloody Mary’s at 2am are not a good idea but sure did seem like one, no regrets but lessons learned.
Our honeymoon is end of next week – Santiago, Chile here we come. We will drink your wine and pillage your… people? cafes? whatever, it will be awesome. Much to be thankful for!
Chile!! Oh man, have a blast. I’ve always wanted to go there. Sneak a cocktail for me. Cheers.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
Can we be neighbors?? I want to have words of wisdom everyday while eating sweet potato pancakes, which I WAS THINKING of making this morning and this post just confirmed it. You are too good to me. I loved this post for many reasons, one being the fact that you used the word tumultuous, and despite the context of the word, it was fantastic. Second being…well everything else. Especially the part about enemies (GTFO bitches!), herbs, socks, recycling, and wind peeing. Never do that last one.
My pearl: do your morning yoga sequence naked, it’s liberating. Just make sure the blinds are closed, or don’t if you’re into that stuff.
Brittany recently posted…A Side of Tips
If your my neighbor, I’m totally doing yoga naked with the blinds open.
Actually the house two doors down just went up for sale….it’s a sign.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
Haha I loved reading this!!
My addition… Don’t fear fear, embrace it and use it as motivation to succeed!
Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…CrossFit – Testing and Feedback!
Now that is a great tip. You should always look fear in the eye and then bitch slap that sucker. Unless of course it’s a giant spider, and then I’m running fast and far away.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
If I leave cheese unattended…..that girl of mine…ROBBER! SHE’S A ROBBER!!
also, the sock thing? your ohio is showing. 😉
Cat @ Breakfast to Bed recently posted…I Take Tea with My Jam
That child of yours is one smart cookie. You taught her well, or else her Ohio roots are calling. I’ve seen her outfits. 😉
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
Very good list. Big picture and smaller picture items. I definitely never let a beater go unlicked. If I had to add one thing, I’d say to tell people that you care about them often but only when you really mean it. Don’t just say I love you because that’s what you’re “supposed” to say. But when you do mean it, say it. You can never tell someone how much they mean to you too often.
Chris recently posted…2015 – No Fear
Yes, very valid pearl of wisdom. I like it, and I also very much appreciate you sharing my post on Twitter. I felt all fancy.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
The spouse’s Rules for Life:
#1. You need something to do.
#2. You need someone to love.
#3. You need something to look forward to.
Kirsten recently posted…Roasted Sweet Potato Nachos
I agree with the spouse with the exception of we all need a sabbatical day for number one. Some days I don’t like to do anything and that’s fantastic. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
You’re my absolute favourite, did you know that? This made me smile big time, which I consider a huge success for a Monday afternoon when the energy slump hits me hard and I start eyeing up that second cup of coffee. I know you’re already small, but do you come in a pocket-sized version? I could use one of those to give me sage advice throughout the day. And even I’d pay extra if pancakes were included. Love you <3
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. link love 1/11 .
Anytime you need an afternoon pick me up, you just let me know and I’ll jab you with a fork or maybe share some more pearls of wisdom….like make sure you’re wearing pants before leaving the house.
I don’t think my boobs will be fitting into any pocket anytime soon, but you’re welcome to try.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
I agree with literally everything here so my pearl of wisdom is this: Listen to Meghan.
Also, poop. You’ll feel better.
I’ve got the latter covered. I’m a machine.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
This brought me so much happiness reading this today and looking at your food too. I wish we were neighbors so I could come over and see it in person and I would bring you muffins too. 🙂
Megan @ The Skinny-Life recently posted…Zucchini Walnut Espresso Bread
I’m so glad this little post of mine brought you some happiness. By the way, I’d appreciate if we could sing that first bit to ♫ this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. ♫ See, isn’t that nice?!
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
YES!
And I want those pancakes right now. Also that cheese. 🙂
Eileen recently posted…Hot citrus drinks for cold winter nights
I wouldn’t love my cheese unattended long enough, although if you’re nice, I’ll share. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
You, my friend, are one smart cookie…did anyone ever tell you that?? So glad I read this first thing in the morning- way to start my day on the best foot :)! I especially love the one about enemies- ain’t nobody got time for that!
Khushboo recently posted…Back to the basics
I like being a cookie. You can do it anytime.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
Such a great post! 🙂
Thanks Lana! I appreciate it!
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
This was hilaaaaaarious! My advice would be to connect with people face to face as much as possible, because while we all get looked at, sometimes we really just need to be seen. Pretty deep introspection for 6am pre-coffee!
Suzy recently posted…The Fraying
That is deep introspection. You say this was pre-coffee. Damn, I’d like to see what you come up with post caffeine.
Meghan recently posted…Pearls of Wisdom
“Invest in a good quality knife. It will save you hours in the kitchen [unless you manage to cut your finger with said knife and it won’t stop bleeding so your roommate gets all nervous]. ” – Not like I knew from experience.
Also, make mistakes and don’t beat yourself up for them. You were born to learn this way and everybody makes mistakes.
Ask your friends – far away or close by – for help and appreciate their advice. Especially if it’s of the no BS, hard-but-well-meant kind.
Bonus blog world pearl of wisdom: Read blogs that lift you up, are sassy and give back. You know what I mean.
Miss Polkadot recently posted…Starting the [goal] smartin’.
Ok, maybe I’m wrong about the knife one. Excessive bloodletting is bad.
You should know this comment brought a huge smile to my face for a multitude of reasons, most especially because it’s nice to hear from you. I’ve been thinking about you all week.
Meghan recently posted…Simple Mills Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies
So much wisdom here!!!
Wish I had worn 2 pair of socks earlier today – maybe then it wouldn’t have taken me hours to warm up when I got back home!!!
Kim recently posted…Happiness Comes from Within
I’ve got two pairs of socks on at this very moment. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Simple Mills Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies
I love all of these 🙂 especially go to the grocery store hungry, for some reason, that one got me! I feel like that can be an analogy for so much in life!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…Why Race?
Yes, good point. Sometimes we just need to spoil ourselves. It’s good for our mental health.
Meghan recently posted…Simple Mills Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies
you went to hard knocks school too?! heck ya! let’s sing our alma mater! ODE TO HUNGRY grocery store shopping —> FOR THE WIN
lindsay recently posted…Gut Loving Cranberry Pineapple Elixir with Turmeric
The school of hard knocks was the Hubby’s favorite part. We should form a club, get school rings and an awkward sweater vest.
Meghan recently posted…Simple Mills Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies
You are actually made of solid gold.
This is very much needed…. been having a rough few days and legit have a new frame of mind now.
I can attest to the hubby. And also….you and me and the DL need to have a (Vegan) meal.
Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…Easy Slow Cooker Vegetable Korma
I’m so glad to hear that. Whenever something rattles me, I take a deep breath or five and then ask myself will it even matter a month from now. If the answer’s no, I try to let it go.
Meghan recently posted…Simple Mills Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies
Love, love, love! Very well said 🙂
Nathalie C. | Devoted Foodie recently posted…Thinking Out Loud: Why is it so cold?
Why thank you. I appreciate that.
Meghan recently posted…Thinking Out Loud and All Over the Place
If I made something tasty you better believe I’m licking the knife, the spoon, the counters, and bowl… but you’re probably right that the knife is not the smartest life choice 😉
I’ve been bitten by the knife. Literally. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Thinking Out Loud and All Over the Place
Shit you’re awesome. xoxo
Carly @ Snack Therapy recently posted…You Asked, I’m Answering
Blows kiss.
Meghan recently posted…Thinking Out Loud and All Over the Place
this is something everyone needs to remember, thank you 🙂
masala girl recently posted…Miso Ramen (ish) Soup
So glad you liked it.