I’m not the romantic type; not even a little bit.
While I very much enjoy fresh cut flowers and heart shaped cookies, open displays of affection and staring adoringly into someone’s eyes makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable at best. Emotional grandiose seems over the top, and Facebook posts about undying love makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth.
Suffice to say, sappy gestures and public gropings aren’t my thing. It truly took me years to hold the Hubby’s hand when we were out and about, and even now it’s reserved for special occasions. Naughty little jokes though, those I can do, ignoring the obvious parallels to my maturity level.
The Hubby on the other hand has a soft side, and I definitely don’t mean it like that. His manhood is just fine. What I mean to say is he’s a charmer and a crowd pleaser. I have male friends who’ve declared him their man crush, and I’m nearly positive my family prefers his company to my own. I also get told often how lucky I am to have such a great partner. Ignoring how irritating this comment is, I’m going to have to agree.
Today marks our TEN YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY (!!!), and while I still need to pick up a card (typical), I thought what better way to celebrate across state lines than with a blog post, Out Loud.
Surely, it’s fitting to have the non-romantic share relationship advice (cough, cough). Hubby, this one’s for you.
Top Ten Tips* for a Healthy Relationship
*just the tip. I’m sorry, it’s like a nervous twitch. I can’t control it.
1) Be each other’s person. You can call it a bestie, a cheerleader or a champion so long as at the end of the day, you have one another’s backs. When I first started blogging, he gifted me with an iPad and more importantly his unwavering support. In fact, he reads every single post and all of your comments. He is unquestionably my person.
2) No name calling, and keep others out of arguments; well unless it’s a couples counselor. As a general rule of thumb, if they don’t get to participate in the make up sex, they shouldn’t be privy to the events leading up to it. While you’re at it, don’t share their flaws with others. No one needs to know how often they put the toilet seat down or pick up their socks.
3) Communicate. This one is so predictable and yet it’s everything. Talk. All the time. Being partners in crime doesn’t automatically make you mind readers so keep the channels open and flowing. Every night, we FaceTime before bed. We clean our mugs and brush our teeth together. It’s hot.
4) The Quickie is your friend. Coupling doesn’t always have to be candles and rose petals. What matters is the connection, and a fast physical one is better than none at all. Besides, flowers stain the sheets.
5) Appreciate one another. Do nice and unsolicited things for each other. The Hubby makes me coffee, and leaves messages and dirty limericks around the house for me to find, and I make his favorite Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Granola. I’ve also been known to pick him up from the airport in nothing more than a house coat.
(He is the only person who can get away with this. Seriously, don’t try it.)
6) Trust and Honesty. If you don’t have these or aren’t working towards them, you shouldn’t be together.
7) Have separate interests. Together time is fantastic, but everyone, even extroverts, need space and the ability to do their own thing on occasion.
8) Close the bathroom door. There should be no confusion between your number two face and your “O” face.
9) Take turns cleaning up the cat puke or whatever dirty job you’ve got going on.
10) Be yourself. Be goofy, be silly, be sad, be happy so long as you’re real. The Hubby has seen everything there is to see about me. He’s seen me cry ugly alligator tears, he’s seen me scratch my ass, and belch more times than appropriate. He’s seen me go through challenges, excitement, grief and loss. He’s seen me belt out show tunes and sometimes he even passes the spatula so I can have a faux microphone. Anyone who can handle my singing is a keeper.
(This is the Hubby’s screen saver.)
Happy Anniversary, my little sex kitten. You’re the real cat’s pajamas, and I’m grateful for you.
Do you have a partner in crime? How long have you been together, and what’s your advice for a healthy relationship.