Today I’d like to tell a story.
And share some Oatmeal Raisin Muffins, but let’s not put the cart before the horse.
It is a tale of treachery and mayhem on the open road.
Let me set the scene.
It was Monday, in the middle of the afternoon. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and the air was crisp. In short, it was a glorious Fall day. I had just caught up with a good friend and was driving home with the baby in the backseat, while my new planner stickers and pretzels rods rode shotgun. We were cruising down the highway, singing life is a highway, and drumming on the steering wheel. I was thrilled to see Ave sleeping peacefully and safely in the confines of her car carrier, that is until the mirror strapped to the headrest on the back seat dipped dangerously low. Suddenly, I was staring at the baby’s feet and nothing else.
Why that thing won’t stay locked in place I’ll never know, although I’ll surely blame the Hubby, simply because it can’t be my fault. Thankfully, I was getting off the highway soon, and would have an opportunity to fix it.
I eased off I90 and merged to the far right hand lane and into a long line of vehicles waiting at the red light. I was at least ten cars back. Knowing I had plenty of time, I went for it.
I quickly put the car in park, unbuckled my seat belt, twisted my torso 180 degrees, reached over the baby seat and adjusted the mirror in the back seat of the car, the one which allowed me to see my sweetly sleeping child. This magical maneuver took all of twenty seconds and the light remained red the entire time, although there was now one open car length in front of me.
Before I had a chance to pull up, I was jarred from my happy reverie by the sounds of an obnoxious horn and an even more abrasive voice screaming “go, go, go.” I glanced in my rear view mirror and noticed a faded yellow rental truck behind me, with two beastly middle-aged white males in the front. The reprehensible fella in the passenger side, with his torn and dirty t-shirt, was hanging out of his window and responsible for all the yelling, while the ugly on the inside, repugnant driver was laying on his horn.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I thought, followed closely by “if you wake my baby, I will harm you.” I pulled forward the seven feet to meet up with the car in front of me. As I sat waiting for the light to turn red, I made some exaggerated jazz hand gestures as if to say “woohoo, I pulled forward and now we can continue to wait for the red light. Jackass.” The ugly on the inside, repugnant driver responded by honking his horn, while his equally as charming friend continued to bellow from the safety of his truck.
Thankfully for them, the light turned green and I was able to put some distance between myself and those sorry sacks for humanity because the only thing which stopped me from putting my car in park in the middle of the exit ramp, getting out and whipping some asshole ass was the sleeping baby in the backseat. I was afraid the commotion would wake her, and as much as I wanted to go vanilla gorilla on them, it’s important Ave gets her naps.
What does any of this have to do with baked goods? Nothing, but I went home and had an oatmeal raisin muffin or three and it helped calm me down. It’s possible I was hangry.
Also, if by chance one of the two morons in the yellow trunk just so happens to be reading this blog, come to me, and I will kick your sorry hide from here to tomorrow. I won’t give you any muffins either, so there.
- 1 1/2 cups Oats
- 1 cup plain Almond Milk
- 1/4 cup Brown Sugar, packed
- 2 Eggs
- 1/4 cup Plain Greek Yogurt
- 1 tsp. Vanilla
- 3/4 cup Flour
- 1/2 tsp. Salt
- 1 tsp. Baking Soda
- 1 tsp. Baking Powder
- 1 tsp. Cinnamon
- 1/2 cup Raisins
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- In a large mixing bowl, add the oats and the almond milk. Stir to combine. Stir in the brown sugar, the eggs, the yogurt and the vanilla until fully incorporated. Add in the dry ingredients from the flour through to the cinnamon. Mix until batter is just combined. Do not overmix. Fold in the raisins.
- Add the batter to a greased muffin pan. This recipe makes 10 large muffins (I know it irritates me too) or 12 medium sized ones. I like my muffins big.
- Bake for 15 to 18 minutes until tops are lightly browned and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let sit in muffin pan an additional five minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.
Share a crazy driving story with me.