Inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes.
For me, it often strikes when I’m hosing myself down in the shower, which isn’t ideal. It’s not like I’ve got some waterproof pens stashed on my person, tucked in between my cheeks or something. Considering my non-ass ass stance, it’s tough to hide anything in there, so it’s unlikely I’ll be pulling a blog post out of my glutes anytime soon. Then again, I’m not a quitter either, so maybe I should give it a go.
The inspiration for today’s post comes via Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck jokes, delivered in an atypical fashion by my boy, Chris. (Hey Chris, are you cool I call you my boy, or is that a little weird and if I have to ask, do I already know the answer?). He did a post called You Might Be A CrossFitter If… which had me laughing even though I’m not fluent in CrossFitonese.
I read, I roared, and I immediately wanted to pen my own post using something which speaks a little more to me. Drumroll please…
You Might Be a Healthy Living Blogger If…
You ingest smoothies on the regular.
You add green things to those same smoothies and lots of them.
You know what bee pollen tastes like and still willingly choose to consume it.
Apple cider shots are a standard first breakfast.
You know the difference between whey, casein, rice, soy and pea protein.
You make pizza crusts out of cauliflower.
You pen weekly workout posts, and you’re disappointed with anything less than running a bazillion miles a week.
You are “strong, not skinny.”
You talk about PR’s, negative splits and leg day.
Rest time is the equivalent of yoga.
You stick beans in baked goods.
You’re lactose intolerant, gluten-sensitive, allergic to nuts, avoiding sugar or all of the above.
You’re in bed or trying to worm your way into bed with Quest Nutrition.
You hashtag #chunkporn and #yolkporn a little too liberally.
You Might Be a Healthy Living Blogger If…
You use terms like “fiber baby” and “fluffy” and you aren’t talking about your pets.
Zoodles are a weekly staple, and you spiralize everything.
You “honor your cravings.”
You make veggies your bitch.
You’ve been to or are going to Blend. You understand what that means.
You preface every recipe with the word healthy.
You’re obsessed with all things pumpkin.
Sweet potatoes are akin to the second coming.
You cook with coconut oil and rub the excess into your skin and hair.
You spend more time taking pictures of your food than actually eating it.
You know the difference between Kabocha and Kombucha.
You grown your own scoby.
You Might Be a Healthy Living Blogger If…
You’re in school or went to school to be a health coach, nutritionist, or dietician.
You ingest at least one super food a day.
You secretly dream of becoming a fitness instructor.
On Instagram, you post just as many gym selfies as #foodporn.
You buy oats in bulk.
You’re all about fats; only the healthy ones though.
Avocados are ripening on your kitchen counter at all times.
You eat balls, bars and bites like they’re going out of style.
You add PB2 to everything.
You count calories and/or track macros.
You spend more time in yoga pants than any other pants. In fact, you think pants are overrated.
You get legit excited for salads, like screamy squealy excited.
You Might Be a Healthy Living Blogger If…
You know what OIAJ means.
You make frosting out of water, stevia and protein powder.
You have a shelf in your kitchen devoted entirely to supplements.
You can eat an entire container of hummus in a single sitting, for breakfast, with your eyes closed and one hand tied behind your back.
Froyo is a big night out, and you get all the toppings.
Speaking of, you prefer to eat most foods cold.
You own a “Kale Yeah” shirt and actually wear it.
Chipotle is your version of fast food.
You shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joes or the local health food store.
You can pronounce quinoa.
You consume egg whites by the carton.
You have more nut butter jars in your pantry than fingers on your hand.
You got mocked all the time for being ‘healthy,” and yet you still wouldn’t change a thing.
Which one do you relate to most? Or better yet, feel free to add your own. I’m guilty of at least 50% of these, although I don’t own a Kale Yeah shirt, but if I did, I’d rock it.
I would say I’m guilty of about half at least, the standouts are the sweet potatoes, running related stuff, kombucha/kabocha, coconut oil, food intolerances, and food pictures especially of egg yolks. And oh yeah, rest=yoga, I just said that this morning to myself, oops 🙂 I seriously think you covered everything and I have nothing to add!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…Weekend Cooking, Food & Family
It’s official. You are a Healthy Living Blogger. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
Hahahahahah OMG Meg this is probably one of the best posts I’ve read..ever! Seriously lolled & nodded my head in agreement more times than I should admit! Ah screw it- I’m going to own it..HLBs fo lyfe ;)!
PS totally cringing about the idea of snuggling up in bed with a Quest bar- sad times!!!
Khushboo recently posted…Currently (April 2015)
That’s one HLBism I won’t embrace. #Chunkporn or not, Quest will never have a place in my bed. 😉
I’m thrilled you enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing too. I appreciate it.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
“Allergic to nuts” <– heyyyy! That's not by choice! And I was allergic long before I came across the HLB world, so there 😛 But yeah I can relate to at least half of these, with the smoothies, holistic nutritionist, and yoga pants ones sticking out the most. If you replace avocados with bananas in: "Avocados are ripening on your kitchen counter at all time," then we'd have a winner. I have 3 bunches on my counter as.we.speak.
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. cinnamon roll sugar cookies .
Granted the peanut allergy can’t be helped, but I didn’t want you to feel left out either. 😉
The Hubby had the audacity to say I bought too many bananas. The nerve. Pfft.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
You crack me up lol. Totally hahahaha to it all. I am of course at one with most of what you say but please, don’t even let me get away with calling protein powder a frosting. Like really – should I ever do such a thing and call it a good frosting on my blog, you must intervene at once!!! lol
meredith @the cookie chrunicles recently posted…Weekend Stuff Per Picture
For you, I would absolutely step in and call shenanigans should you dub a protein powder concoction as frosting. Give me straight up sugar frosting and I’m good.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
ha to the hahaha, HAlarious!!!!! okay i’m not a healthy living blogger (yet) but i can still appreciate this post. especially as it was inspired while you were basting yourself with a shower head. did i read into that too much? it doesn’t help that i was reading this on my phone and kept seeing the word ‘penis, penis, penis’ every other word because i didn’t have my glasses on yet… the mind wanders. anyway.
so i can’t imagine adding anything to this perfect list, why mess with perfection eh? i’m with you, about 75% of this stuff is my reality. i’m okay with that since the remaining 25% is flipping off the bird at the world and anything deemed healthy. my internal rebel is strong and the inner conflict, rogue rebel versus health bunny, is very real.
i’ve been guilty of all this stuff, and somehow even managed to make a goop of bee pollen and coconut oil that tasted good… which makes me wander, WTF is wrong with me.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t even use the word penis in this post which leads me to believe it might be time for you to take a cold shower. 😉
I like the rogue rebel versus healthy bunny imagery. You’ve got my wheels spinning now.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
I put the word penis in my Monday Mileage post yesterday and nobody noticed!!! HA HA HA!
Penis.
Suzy recently posted…When the Heart Farts
Brilliant!! Loved it! =) Glad I could be a source of inspirtation for such a humorous post! I can pronouce quinoa, I’ve got a Kale Yeah thing, tons of nut butter right above my supplement shelf, and there are always avocados! I do cook with coconut oil frequently, but I didn’t know I should be combing the extra through my beard…. interesting! =)
Chris recently posted…2015 CrossFit Open WOD 15.5 Recap
Think of how shiny and luxurious your beard could become with vast quantities of coconut oil rubber throughout it. Better clear out another shelf in the kitchen!!
Thanks again, my muse.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
Oooohhhhh yeah, it’s totally cool for me to be your boy. =)
I ain’t never gonna be a HLB, but I did lmao reading this while wearing yoga pants and writing my Costco list to include oats and rolling over the memory of that kombucha beer last summer. Thanks again for flashing the label in my brain so I can resume my hunt for it.
Kirsten recently posted…Potato Sauce–a Fast & Easy Holiday Recipe
They have it at Whole Foods here! I am regretting not buying it this weekend.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…The One Where the Oven Caught Fire
Go back and buy it. It’s worth it.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
I have pounds of oats in the pantry. God bless Costco.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
#chunkporn?! That should never, ever be allowed. In fact, I’m starting a movement to ban the word chunk from ever being used on a menu. #barf
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…The One Where the Oven Caught Fire
I second your movement. Viva la revolution!!
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
I feel like I can only relate to less than half of these! But I definitely nodded yes to your points about nut butter, Chipotle, hummus, and sweet potatoes/pumpkin. And heck yes, veggies definitely are my bitch. I don’t have a “Kale yeah” shirt, but I do have one that says “I <3 kale" with the <3 made out of kale leaves. Yup, I'm that cool haha.
Chelsea @ Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Black Bean and Mango Quinoa Salad
I make veggies my bitch as well. I get a secret thrill every time I do it too.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
Hahahaha. These are totally fabulous! I can definitely relate to probably half of them and I so want a Kale Yeah shirt 😉
Ange @ Cowgirl Runs recently posted…Motivate Me Monday: 4/6
We need to bulk order the Kale Yeah shirts. Maybe they’ll give us a discount. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
It’s really creepy, how accurately to articulated me, and most of the bloggers I follow on the internet. LOL
That said, I have zero idea what OIAJ is. Please enlighten!
caren recently posted…If you’re an aspiring female entrepreneur, you need to read this.
What can I say? I’m a creepy kind of gal. 😉
OIAJ is Oats In A Jar for the oats people eat out of nearly empty nut butter jars. It’s a big thing.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
I think I only meet about 10-15%. Sort of confirms something I always knew – I’m just a blogger who works out:)
Kim recently posted…Not Stuck, Working on Unstoppable
Ain’t nothing wrong with that. Variety is the spice of life.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
OH goodness, they are AWESOME! Totally going to share this on my favorite links weekly roundup. This is the best. I associate with about 60% of this, but I definitely know what every single one of them means. And yes, I do make veggies my bitch quite often. And enjoy every second of it.
Well thank you. I’m glad you got such a kick out of the post. I had a great time writing it.
I love showing veggies who’s the boss!!
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
um, it’s scoby.. not skoby. get it right! LOL! jk. I love you. I’m not in bed with quest. fiber is not always my friend. And gasp… i don’t like froyo! it tastes fake to me. Ice cream or gelato, yes, I can do that. Even though I am lactose… gastolerant.
And i love you. I love cheese. I love wine. I love blend. does that make me a half ass HLB? ;=)
Lindsay recently posted…Coconut Rice and Watermelon Salad Bowls – Rehydrate and Refuel
Oops! Annnnnd correction made to scoby. Thanks love.
I prefer ice cream or gelato too. It simply tastes better and then you don’t need all those crazy toppings.
We’re both half ass HLBer’s which makes us good for one another. You complete me. 😉
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
OMFBlog how did I miss this? I love the keen-oh-ah one. My fave. Oh, and I legit have been dying for this shirt for centuries… check it: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/81809103/lettuce-turnip-the-beet-trademark-brand?ref=shop_home_feat_3
Suzy recently posted…When the Heart Farts
That shirt is awesome. I need that in my life.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
You have more nut butter jars in your pantry than fingers on your hand. <- This.
This, however: You know what bee pollen tastes like and still willingly choose to consume it. Nix the consumption part. #sorrynotsorry [and I dislike hashtags yet use them every now and then because, duh, I'm a blogger, see me hashtag …]. Any suggestions on how to use a basically still full jar of bee pollen are welcome. As long as they don't involve green smoothies because I'm an atypical HLB there. Maybe also for the fact that I don't like the abbreviation HLB.
Hm … well, you know what's funny looking at the fact I just talked about what sets me apart from being a stereotypical healthy living blogger? A lot of these actually don't fit for me but I know many others do. Part of that being that I go crazy overboard in the produce aisle or better yet on Farmers' Markets and am in a serious relationship with almond butter.
Miss Polkadot recently posted…Ready, set … pin!
Confession: I have only two jars of nut butter in the pantry and one was a gift. 🙂
I will continue to consume bee pollen until my stash runs out. I’m incapable of throwing it out; bees worked hard for that.
I should have added #sorrynotsorry. Rats, forgot that one.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
Yep that’s me, definitely a healthy living blogger! The few exceptions must be noted though – counting calories? Ain’t got time for that! And egg whites? Pfff! Eat the yolks people! Haha!
I would do anything to go to Blend! Major blogger jealously!
Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…Get to know me better!
Egg whites are only acceptable in ice cream or to brush across pastry dough for a browning effect. And even then, I save my yolks for a future omelet. 🙂
You should come to Blend. They have yoga this year, and I’m stoked about that.
Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…
I would come to blend if it wasn’t for the thousands of pounds it would cost to travel from the UK!! Oh well, will just do some yoga moves in blends honour from home… *start the violins…* 😉
Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…Why I Love Where I Live!
I’ll do a downward dog in your honor. 😉
Meghan recently posted…Peanut Butter Chocolate Smoothie Recipe
That last one..ALL the time. Specifically at work, but I’ve totally inspired some of my coworkers to be “healthy” so I don’t even care! Great list, I’d say over half resonate with me. I guess I’m sorta, kinda, part of the HLB tribe…but only sorta.
Brittany recently posted…Finding Inspiration
I had a coworker today who told me I was her motivation for getting healthy. I absolutely melted and it made my day.
I’m sorta with you too. What we need to do is change the overall image of the HLB community to be all about healthy, instead of body image. If we get enough of us, it’ll happen. Viva la revolution.
Meghan recently posted…Peanut Butter Chocolate Smoothie Recipe
I am sitting at my desk at work and I am literally crying! Genius! I have to print out this post and tick the boxes! Let’s say I am at least guilty of 60% of this list!
I spend more time in yoga pants than any other pants and I think pants are totally overrated. Luckily I found really strechy jeans lately and bought them in bulk 🙂
And I think I have 10 open jars of nutbutter!
And I would like to add that I am getting embarassingly excited when I get ripe bananas on discount because they have already brown spots.
Juli @1000lovelythings recently posted…What I ate Wednesday #82 – Some Easter Eats
Yes, ripe bananas are the BEST! I’m actually officially out of bananas right now. It’s a travesty. I don’t know how I’ll get through tomorrow without a banana. 😉
Meghan recently posted…Peanut Butter Chocolate Smoothie Recipe
I think I fit about half of these….does that count?? Also I need to freaking buy my Blend ticket!! Might even bring Dave Cakes with me (even though he is going to run off to play with his friends while we are climbing mountains and having protein bars jammed down our throats). 😀
What the eff is chunk porn?? *rushes off to search the hashtag*
Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut recently posted…Mini Chicken Pesto Pizzas
I have a horribly inappropriate response about stuff jammed down throats, especially the kind which involves #chunkporn, which I shall ignore. For now. 🙂
See you at Blend.
Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives
Such a relatable piece! Love it!!! 🙂 Fit as a healthy living blogger totally hahaha!
Brittany recently posted…#FridayFavourites – #Springclothing, #Water and #NewChallenges
Thanks, so glad you enjoyed it.
Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives
I cannot believe we were actually vibing on the same wave length this week….In more ways than one. You’ve once again NAILED IT.
Let’s toast with a protein powder cheesecake.
Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…No Bake Vanilla Cake Batter Breakfast Cookies
Thanks Sunshine. I like when we’re on the same page. Makes everything easier and then I don’t have to yell at you…. not that I’d do that anyway, although I might steal your cheese.
You keep the protein powder cake.
Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives
Love this! As a new blogger I already am guilty of a lot of this…except the only nut butter is peanut butter because I have a tree nut allergy (I guess you have to be one or the other!) and I just don’t do smoothies. Instead I eat raw fruits and veggies until I have that fiber baby…
Alyssa @ Renaissancerunnergirl recently posted…My Favorite Pancakes
Oh no, tree nut allergies are so difficult. I’m sorry to hear that.
Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives
I’m guilty of at least 50 %…especially the sweet potatoes, avocados, yoga “rest days” and way toooo many pictures of food! 🙂
Casey @ Casey the College Celiac recently posted…Five Ways to Love Dating a Gluten-Eater
I am a potato lover, all potatoes too, so I can relate to that one as well. I love me some yoga although those are actual workouts for me. Rest days usually involve me horizontal on the couch with some bad, yet delicious, television.
Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives
WOMAN! Are you TRYING to kill me?! I totally lost my shit over “You’re in bed or trying to worm your way into bed with Quest Nutrition.” Everything else after that was a blur…but a damn good ab workout so yeah, I guess I owe you a thank you for that! Oh god, I just scrolled back up and read it again…PB2 all the things! And omg, I remember when I first started blogging and I wasn’t sure what the difference was between kabocha and kombucha! You’re good girl. Too good!
But seriously…what is the big deal with the bee pollen?? Am I really that weird for liking it? 😆
Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli recently posted…A Marvelous Anniversary
Quest junkie. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself although I may get banned from Blend. Insert monkey covering his face emoji here.
Bee pollen or at the least the pellets I’m consuming taste like @ss, which is why I add them to my smoothies instead. I can’t waste it, of course. 🙂
It’s lovely to see you around these parts again.
Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives
All my best ideas come in the shower too! What is it with that place?!
Melissa @ Mango About Town recently posted…What is a Professional Home Economist?
Overhead stimulation. Has to be it. Gets our brains functioning or something.
LOL I’m dying. I never considered myself a HLB, but I relate to about half of these, sooooo….I don’t have the Kale, Yeah shirt, but I would MUCH rather have a shirt that says “Fitness Whole Pizza in my Mouth”.
Nikki @ will run for pizza recently posted…5 things on Sunday.
I love your shirt idea. “Fitness Whole Pizza in my Mouth.” Sign me up; I’m in.