It has been ages since I spilled the beans on the blog.
Seriously things have been way too calm, and there’s been far too much gobbledygook for my own peace of mind. My secret sinful side is getting restless, so I think it’s time we make things not so secret, Out Loud, of course. Thanks for hosting Ms. Amanda. (Dad, you might want to skip this post. Love you).
And away we go:
The porno movie I mentioned earlier this week starring Senator Blowhard wasn’t made up. I discovered it in high school when I went to watch a movie with my friend and father (hello, awkward). It turns out one of my brothers was up a little late the night before.
(This is not that porno, but I figured a sex joke would be appropriate here.)
The breast milk in Ave’s shot glass (yes, my six month old has her own shot glass) comes directly from my nipple. What I mean to say is I’m not pumping and pouring it in. Instead, I stick my golden globes in the cup and squeeze. It’s effective, although the Hubby was quite shocked when he realized what I was doing.
Most of the time when I play peek-a-boo with the tiny human, she’s sitting outside the half opened bathroom door, and I’m on the throne. Isn’t that a lovely mental image?
Some days, I don’t want to be a stay at home mom.
Most days I’m grateful for the opportunity though.
I love my kid.
When it comes to my bladder, I can no longer hold it the way I used to; accidents have happened.
I find the new ‘AF’ trend incredibly irritating. Honestly if you’re too lazy or not ballsy enough to go for the full monty, then you shouldn’t be using it.
I’ve never made nut butter before.
If I should start though, it’d be Juli’s White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Butter. She sent me some and I ate the entire jar in the span of a few hours. It’s magic in a bottle.
Speaking of illicit substances, I smoked grass once, like literal grass. I was young, foolish and out of Marlboro’s, so I rolled up some of the backyard in lined white notebook paper, lit that sucker up and inhaled. It was not my finest moment, and I burnt the hell out of my throat.
I photo shopped a bug out of my Roasted Sweet Potato Kale Salad pictures; just one of the hazards of shooting outside.
This is no way prevented me from eating said salad.
Last, when I say I licked the bowl clean, I mean it.
Your turn. Tell me a scandalous confession. Also is squirting breast milk into a shot glass that weird? I didn’t think so, but the Hubby tells me otherwise.