It’s been a hot minute since I did a What I Ate Wednesday post.
And by hot minute I mean seventy-six days, four hours, thirty two minutes and eight seconds, but who’s counting, aside from my little neurotic self. What can I say? I miss working with numbers and have to squeeze in my anal tendencies somewhere.
I said squeeze and anal in the same sentence. Heh, heh.
I’ll be honest with you, I’m not much of a backdoor chick. I got no problem with getting kinky, but I consider the around the corner business an exit only. Perhaps I’m missing out and maybe one day the Hubby will entice me to take a walk on the wild side. For now though, I’ll take some straight up monkey loving, preferably without a side of sleeping cat. It’s total awkward when Oscar’s there.
What does any of this have to do with my daily eats? Not a damn thing, I just like to let my fingers do the talking and today it appears they want to get sassy, without being a butt plug that is.
Without further ado, here’s my Monday edibles.
Breakfast: a not pictured glass of warm lemon water, followed by oatmeal and two cups of coffee. I make my oats with a mixture of water and almond milk, a sprinkle of cinnamon, half a mashed banana, and some flax powder. I top it with the rest of the banana and whatever fruit I’ve got handy. The child and I share this breakfast daily.
A couple hours later and it was snack time: a Liberte’ Lemon yogurt and a granola bar. I adore these yogurts, mainly because they’re made with milk and cream. Be still my dairy loving heart.
Lunch was a random mishmash of stuff, including half an avocado, an Everything bagel with loads of butter, fruit and cheese.
It was at this point in the day, I stopped photographing my eats. Lucky for you though, I have plenty of old pictures which match the rest of my eats. Apparently I am a creature of habit, which you might have guessed given my sexual tendencies.
My afternoon delight was a large mug of coffee with a side of apple slices dunked in honey roasted peanut butter.
Dinner was delicious, and it was a pile of buttery potato pierogies with half a plate of steamed broccoli.
There you have it, a full day of food with an inappropriate introduction. Nailed it.
What’s you take on the back door business? I say different strokes (literally) for different folks.
Your bagel – simply perfection. I love my bread and bagels TOASTED – none of this ‘warmed bread’ nonsense. And butter always 🙂
Oh and back door business – hell no. As you said, exit only on that front!
Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…What to do when you are away from family and friends at Christmas #5TTT
Toasting the bagel helps the butter get all melty and delicious.
Everytime I slather something in an indecent amount of butter I think of you. This being said I just eat sage butter gnocchi which made me think of you, too. Then I started to read your post and almost choked on my gnocchi.
You should think that by now I might have learned not to read your posts when I eat. Or when I drink. Or when I am not alone in the office. But I guess my co-workers are used to me giggling in my screen by now. Even a snort or two don’t put them off anymore 😀
Juli @1000lovelythings recently posted…What I ate Wednesday – The 100th Edition
I picked up gnocchi at the market last week with your recipes in mind. 🙂
This backdoor business kind of came out of left field so I’ll you a reprieve this time. 🙂
To answer your question… nope. Hell no. Never again.
What I will have again and again? Pierogies. Dan taught me how to make them from scratch (bless his Ukranian upbringing soul) as soon as we started dating. Its one of the main reasons I keep him around.
Cora recently posted…The Mind Body Connection (What I Ate Wednesday)
Pierogies from scratch. Be still my potato loving heart. J’adore.
Also, again…. intrigue, I like it. 🙂
This could easily be a sample from one of several days last week. Those pierogies look even better than the ones I had, though. Oh that butter!
No back door action here, but I do also have pervy cats who like to watch and occasionally interrupt by literally trying to get between us. Between the cats and kids it’s a wonder we have any monkey loving at all.
Heather Shoberg recently posted…Let there be light!
Butter makes everything better.
What is it with the cats? Can they not give us a moment of peace? Also the kid is a huge cock blocker; way worse than Oscar.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
HA HA HA! I love you. Okay so well, I’m a Christian private school grad so of course we ducked through the back door a time or two so that we could remain as virginal as possible, but I hated it. I’ve since been to Haiti, picking up Forever Diarrhea, so there’s that too. Between hating how it feels and the probability of ending up with a brown popsicle, it’s just not going to happen.
Suzy recently posted…Coffee Gives Me The Runs
I don’t know you, but you are now my second favorite person of the day. Meg has to remain the first for even starting this discussion.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…Our Christmas Tree, Processo Cheese, & Pizza [WIAW]
Anyone who read and appreciates my “brown popcicle” comment is a friend of mine. I love you, Laura. But let’s stay away from the bum. <3
Suzy recently posted…Walls Down
Suzy – I went to a Catholic school too, but I didn’t give a donkey’s booty about that virginal business.
Laura – you should start reading Suzy’s blog. It isn’t about food or fitness (unless you count excessive OCD type running and cheetos) but damned if it isn’t one of the funniest blogs I read.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
OMG. I couldn’t love you more right now. Did you REALLY just start a discussion about anal sex?! I have to admit… a pinky isn’t a bad add, especially if you’re getting too sensitive to reach the finish line. But no more than that! I can’t imagine a whole… *shudder*
My high school chemistry teacher first scared me off of the whole idea. She told me about a friend of hers who had so much anal sex that she could no longer control her farts (speaking of squeezing). Can you imagine?!
Side note: when Ave is a teenager, I’m showing her this post.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…Our Christmas Tree, Processo Cheese, & Pizza [WIAW]
I’m going to have to abandon the blog once Ave can read and figure out how to work the Internet.
Also, I can believe anything I say shocks you anymore.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
yay for WIAW!!! Today I had a banana and holiday flat white for breakfast, popcorn for a snack, and just had some brie and crackers with a pear for lunch.
As for your other question, I enjoy it on occasion. BUT, I am very picky about who goes there. I did not like it when I was younger, but now it feels naughty and there are a lot of nerve endings around that area so it can feel really good if done properly.
I’m happy to hear you have selective backdoor participants. I feel like that’s important. Rock on with yo’ bad self.
Also brie is everything.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
Hahaha John is wondering what I’m loling about and I told him it’s just my wacky friend Meg who he needs to meet. 😉
Big N.O. to the backdoor action over here too. I’m sure it’s sexy in porn, but I don’t see how it can be anything but a messy disaster in RL. =/
Chelsea A recently posted…A Dietitian’s Rant on “Fitspo”
The same goes with rose petals in bed. In real life, they just stain the sheets. Not that I know from experience or anything…cough, cough.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
Perogies are essentially the greatest thing. Potato stuffed inside of pasta. Perfection. Before my last race I had a mashed potato sandwich. It was also fabulous, I should do it more often 🙂
Ellie Pell recently posted…Two Ultrarunners Take on San Francisco
Pierogies are a little piece of heaven.
HAHA although I can’t comment much about backdoor business, I will say that you sure know how to make a gorgeous plate for lunch- all the flavours and textures….WANT!
Khushboo recently posted…Eating for climate change
Snack plates are my jam, not to be confused with actual jam.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
You dirty birdie you, I love it. I immediately went sexual when I read your title. What does that say about me? It says we were meant to be friends, obviously.
Brittany recently posted…Holiday Shopping for the Outdoor Enthusiast in Your Life
The very best of friends. Dirty minds for the win.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
Best introduction to a post ever!!
And now I’m craving some buttery pierogies, yummmm.
Jen recently posted…Endocrinologist Appointment
I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I tend to get a little inappropriate at times. I’m happy to see it’s appreciated. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Backdoor Edition
Girl. You crack me up every time. I’m with you though. With IBS, I have enough to deal with getting stuff out of that end of my body, let alone worrying about stuff going in. To each their own, I say.
A buttery bagel with cheese and avocado and fruit sounds like an awesome lunch. I haven’t had a bagel with just straight up butter in a long time. Yum!
Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…10 Holiday & Winter Songs for the Folk Music Fan
Butter makes everything better, especially bagels. Heck, it’d even help with the backdoor business should you want to go that route. A little grease and all. 🙂 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: The Minutia Adds Up (#61)
Hehehe, glad to see that motherhood has not taken away an ounce of your perverted sassiness! 😉
You and I definitely have similar taste in our diets (pun intended). That bagel/fruit/avo lunch looks so yummy, and apple with nut butter is one of my favorite snacks!
Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness recently posted…Peppermint Chocolate Chip Snack Bites {vegan + gluten free}
If anything mother hood has added to my perverted sassy side. Now I have a whole host of poop jokes. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: The Minutia Adds Up (#61)
Pierogies! Oh man, and the potato stuffed ones are the best. Thank you for giving me the biggest craving. Luckily, Christmas is on it’s way, which means pierogies are coming too. And definitely with you on back door business – exit only.
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…healthy buckeyes
I so badly want to experience your mom’s pierogies. I know they’d be amazing.
Meghan recently posted…Happy Holidays and a Swanson Health Products Giveaway
Lol! Just…Lol! And I reserve the right, as an old person to my privacy, but SAY TO ANY BACKDOOR believers, DO. NOT. DO. IT!!
I gave in, not completely convinced that “I’d just LOVE IT”, just a few times. Now I’ve had the most HORRENDOUS surgery to repair that mistake and the recovery IS NOT WORTH IT!!!
It is true that having 4 children in fairly quick succession also played a part. But, because of that, sex was like a dip in the deep black hole. Things stretch out! No sensation for either of us. When age creeps upon us, desire never slows, even in your 60’s if the mind connection remains. And we have that! Our deep love continues to grow as it should.
So, here is the ugly truth. After maybe 10 times of using the back door (NOT that comfortable for me, but I’ll do anything for the love of my life) , I discovered my rectum hanging outside of my bum! It’s not only gross, but it comes with all sorts of uncomfortable side effects, like bowel incontence. Y won’t be able to go to the store without a thick pad and extra changes of clothing in your bag.
Eventually, you’ll just stay home. Go ahead and google “Prolapsed Rectum” I am still recovering from the surgery now. It’s the second one, as the first was done improperly. It’s an extremely painful and long convelscenent process. I am at week 4 and still on a very strict diet and in pain.
So that’s my story! Where I am now, for maybe having ‘backdoor’ sex probably 10 times in the last 4 years. DONT DO IT!
I think I could eat perogies on my diet, because they’re not on my no ‘fresh, raw veg or fruit, diet or high fiber diet! I just don’t know where to send my husband to find them, and am really am not comfortable on feet for more than 15 minutes? They look and sound so wonderful!
Oh poor Grandma Lala. As if I needed any more incentive to say away from the backdoor. Now I’m firmly convinced it’s not for me. Your husband can get you some pierogies in the freezer section of the grocery store and any good polish store. I get ours at the West Side Market which has all sorts of vendors and food. The real deal is always best. Sending healing vibes your way.
Meghan recently posted…Happy Holidays and a Swanson Health Products Giveaway
Thank-You for the 411 on where to find perogies! My dear one will be sent to our little favorite multi-cultural grocery today! They represent from just about every corner of the world! If the world had corners, that is.
Please forgive my bluntness above, but this surely has been a rough recovery and I’ve had several surgeries. This….by far the worst. If I save anyone from it, It was worth me embarrassing and ‘outing’ myself.
Haha! Once I saw “backdoor” I knew I had to read. Good way to start the day. (Reading this, not backdoor-ing)
I’m happy to be of service. Blows kiss. 🙂