I feel like writing all the time.
Well, not all the time. Just at the most inopportune times; like when I’m in downward dog, pretending to be all Zen, but really trying not to drop a wind bubble of gas on the person directly behind my smiling glutes. Or when I’m in the middle of a meeting at work, and I’m the one actually speaking. Or when I’m hanging in the shower, with my smoothies and show tunes. Those kind of inopportune times, when I can’t easily grab a pencil or my phone and add a note. Besides, my new phone is now my very old phone, and I no longer have Siri to add my notes for me anymore. I have to do it myself. Gasp; this manual stuff is for the birds.
It’s probably for the best since I’m not getting entire paragraphs of prose yet. I appear to be channeling just a few random sentences and sometimes only snippets of those. This is the beginning of creativity for me: small little light bulbs of ideas popping off all over my brain, sometimes all at once. Some might call this ADD; I call it the beginnings of genius…Dun, dun, dun… or madness, since the two are so closely related.
Right now, they are glimpses of inspiration and from what I can remember, some of them are ridiculously funny too, which is way better than being ridiculously good-looking, no matter what Ben Stiller says because your looks will only last so long; well unless you get Botox and then I suppose they’ll last a little longer, but your neck is going to look creepy in comparison with your face. Words of wisdom right there.
After that intro, I figure it only makes sense for me to join Amanda’s link up and share the smatterings of my mind; the ones I can actually remember, that is. Plus, yesterday Laura asked to “see the margins of [my] mental notebook,” and I like to deliver.
It’s not delivery, it’s Digiorno baby.
Laura, you should probably be very afraid.
And away we go:
- I got my braces off on Monday, and I’ve been on cloud nine ever since. I keep wanting to chant “Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty. I’m free at last.” It’s possible I’m being a little dramatic, but since the orthodontist also told me I had ‘tight cheeks,’ I think I’m allowed to be over the top.
- The orthodontist sent me on my way with some helium filled balloons and a grab bag of chemical laced candy. I was mortified. I get they wanted to give me a little treat; indulge in all the things I couldn’t eat while wearing a mouthful of metal, but really…. I would have preferred a bagel, an apple, or an ear of corn. My braces robbed me of corn on the cob last summer, and I want that back. You can keep your Cheetos and Double Bubble.
- I ate the Reese Pieces, a caramel because it reminded me of my grandpa and a couple of ‘chocolate’ flavored Tootsie rolls because they were there. Stupid righteous indignation.
- In more non-braces news, I have to wear retainers full-time for the next year, which means this week, I’m rocking a lisp. This makes it incredible hard to be professional at work. At home, that’s a different story altogether. I don’t even try. There I suck the helium out of balloons and mutter all sorts of deliciousness, including curse words, like Shit because nothing sounds funnier than a lispy and helium filled ssshhhit.
- Fast topic change here: this was my dinner last night. A snack platter of some of my favorite things… Strawberries, Brie, Havarti, Bell Peppers, Celery, Kalamata Olives, Multi-grain Crackers, Blueberries, Raspberries, and my Strange But Good Pesto.
- Madison left me perhaps one of the best comments I’ve ever received. She told me to “Go run with those unicorns and rare species of gorillas (that also happen to be vanilla?) and “Do What You Want, Be Who You Are.” She is one smart cookie, despite her inability to ingest them, and I would love to find the land of the unicorns and my people.
- More mental margins: For some reason, known only to my psyche, I find this highly amusing.
- I have no idea how anyone can hear or read any piece of Bohemian Rhapsody and not break into song. Even Poe himself would have danced. I blame Wayne’s World. Alright fine, fine, I’ll just play the damn thing already. Happy now.
Go rock out with your Bohemian Rhapsody out.
What thoughts do you have to share today. Please tell me some of you starting singing? If not, you must be a) dead inside or b) too young to appreciate Queen. In either case, I will still love you, although I’m hoping you’ll throw a Queen song onto your next playlist and think of me.
I was going to start by commenting on your braces + candy situation, but then I got sidetracked by your snack plate. Holy.gerbils, lady… I love me a good snack plate, but I have to say that mine NEVER come out looking like that. Way to be all high class and fancy 😛 Even the cheese has it’s own little cutting board! Please tell me you’re fabulous and eat like that all the time and not just when pictures are required…
Actually when it comes to snack plates, I do try to fancy them up, even when no picture is being taken. What can I say? I’m a sucker for presentation and like to eat pretty food.
If corn on the cob was robbed from me, I’d go all Inigo Montoya on the person who took my happiness. Seriously.
That snack plate IS pretty fantastic! We do those at our house all the time, although it’s all on one cutting board and doesn’t really stand a chance of looking pretty that long to take photographic evidence, poor cheese.
With your awesome new helium induced lisp, I think you might have a career in background vocals for some hip hop. Go make your millions!
These mental margins ARE pretty fantastic-my margins usually have about 10 tries to make a 3 dimensional cube and perhaps some form of spirograph. Doodles are fun.
I love you just quoted Inigo Montoya. The loss of corn on the cob was heart breaking for me. For real; especially since I got beautiful ears in my CSA.
When I make my snack plates and the Hubby is home, he’s always stealing pieces of cheese, and I’m always swatting his hand away and mumbling, It’s not ready yet. I have a thing for snack plates; they make me happy and I like them to be organized and pretty. It’s what happens when OCD meets vanity. 🙂
Doodles are fun.
CONGRATS on getting your braces off! I remember when I was in high school and got them off. I was ecstatic and couldn’t stop smiling or thinking of how smooth my teeth felt. Like, it took me a looongg time to realize that my teeth were so slimy hahah!
That dinner platter looks fantastic! Sometimes snacking is the way to go!
Eek, slimy teeth are not something I envy, although I am thrilled to get the metal off. It feels refreshing!
I’mma let you finish, but The Muppets have the BEST Bohemian Rhapsody video of all time. Of all time!!
(seriously). No, I was being serious. They are the best.
But getting back to your post–congrats on the grill removal! My son will experience his candy-fueled hoopla the end of this month. I hope there are not holes in his teeth from lack of brushing.
He’s most looking forward to an everything bagel (bits falling off the sides) with cream cheese, capers, red onion and lox. Mom needs to have one too, you know, for quality control purposes.
That dinner looks awesome–and since I’ve got 2 kinds of butternut squash hummus in the fridge from my #AppetizerWeek (heck, I just hash tagged something) posts I think we need to eat it as a dip dinner.
I like your mental margins–with the Muppet Caveat, of course–keep ’em coming.
I almost posted the Muppets doing Bohemian Rhapsody. It was really close.
I understand quality control purposes. It’s a legit thing and I’m sticking to my story.
Butternut squash hummus…you never cease to amaze me.
Wow, I can’t believe your orthodontist gave you that! I’ve never been much of a fan of candy, just straight chocolate.
I know. I was honestly horrified. Hello? What were they thinking?!
I swear I write entire posts and great stories in my head while i’m running, showering or laying in bed…why can’t they be auto recorded, cause later I’m always missing details!!!
Love the teeth!
Isn’t that always the case. Damn inopportune creative bits. They need to fall in line or something.
Thanks for stopping by and saying hello.
I feel like I’ve seen that picture everywhere this week and it sends me into my own little mindspace of Bohemian Rhapsody each and every time. Retainer lisp is sexy (imagine rocking that as a college freshman, which is when I got my second set of retainers). The margins of your mental notebook are fabulous and you should share them more often (not that they aren’t usually in the intros, but its fun when they’re the full post!)
Oh man, that is rough. Being a lisping freshman is equally as bad as being a lisping adult. It gives me mad respect for your profession.
You’re right, my intros kind of are the margins of my mental notebook. Half the time, those are the hardest things to write. The other half, they’re the easiest. Go figure.
easy come easy go, will you let me go?
Congrats on having the braces off, although I never knew you had them on to begin with! Is it just me who is confused that they give you CANDY as a parting gift? aka something which is meant to be a big ‘nono’ for nice teeth? I’m so confused.
If that’s your definition of a snack plate (which I must add, looks incredible), I need to reconsider my definition of it.
I love you for singing some of it. The Hubby said he was late for school because he had to watch the video. He couldn’t walk away from Bohemian Rhapsody. Yep, I’m married to the right fella.
It was absolutely a mixed message and my thought was if you’re going to go that route, give me an apple or at least non-chemical laced candy.
Snack plates are my jam because they’re a mix of my favorite things. Plus, I get to work out my OCD issues: everything is placed just so and grouped according to category and color. So refreshing.
Congrats on that pretty mouth!!!
I feel like your orthodontist is in bed with the dentist. Who gives out a bag of crap?! (Pass the Cheetos, please.)
Come to think of it, the dentist did refer the orthodontist….you might be onto something!
Congrats on the braces!! If someone told me I had tight cheeks, I’d tell em thanks and waggle my ass …. but that’s just me.
I’ve seen that Poe thing before, and I laughed. A lot. 1 because I love Poe, but I also really love Queen.
And you know you always get something stuck in my head.
xoxo this fat bottomed girl.
I tried to waggle my ass, but I was in the dentist chair and hands were in my mouth. Eek.
Thank you for loving Queen.
I love the idea of Thinking Out Loud Thursday! Love a good meme. So excited for you that you are brace-less!! Have a great day!
Thanks Fran. You should participate in one; they’re fun.
You make me giggle. Like out loud. I wouldn’t say LOL, more like GOL.
You are a great writer! You should start writing a book! I did the other night and now I don’t remember where the notebook went haha. But seriously, not all bloggers have a way with words (some lean heavily on their photos).
As far as your ortho goodie bag…welcome to America? I swear getting caught up in the “healthy living blogger” we forget how much processed foods most of the US ingests. Not that I’m the BEST eater… I mean look at you and your snack plate!!
Aww thanks so much. I really appreciate the comments because I am trying to be funny. Then again, my taste is not everyone’s taste, but I’m glad it’s yours as well.
You started a book….now that’s impressive. What’s it about? I’m fascinated.
Awwwwr! Look at dem pretty teefers!! So happy for you my lovable lisping lady! Now do me a favor and say that back to me…hahaha! 😉
Your mind is a great vast world of entertainment…I could just skip around for days in there (accompanied by some mighty fine tuneage, I might add!)…and I know I don’t even have to pause for a second to consider how weird what I just typed was with you…now let’s go find us some unicorns!
PS, I seriously almost fell off my chair when I saw that Poe thing…omg! I’m still laughing! And yes, yes, YES! I’m SO glad you included the Wayne’s World clip…some of the best one-liners EVER! “Sphincter says what?” 😉 And I was totally in love with Dana Carvey when that came out…yeah, when I was at the ripe age of seven and didn’t even understand half the jokes! Ha!
Ah-ha! I do believe Wayne’s World is partially responsible for your current maturity level. Hello Sphincter says what. It’s stull funny too!
You are welcome to dance away in my strange little world, along with my cats, veggies and unicorns. It’s a happy little place with great music and straight teeth. 😉