I feel like writing all the time.
Well, not all the time. Just at the most inopportune times; like when I’m in downward dog, pretending to be all Zen, but really trying not to drop a wind bubble of gas on the person directly behind my smiling glutes. Or when I’m in the middle of a meeting at work, and I’m the one actually speaking. Or when I’m hanging in the shower, with my smoothies and show tunes. Those kind of inopportune times, when I can’t easily grab a pencil or my phone and add a note. Besides, my new phone is now my very old phone, and I no longer have Siri to add my notes for me anymore. I have to do it myself. Gasp; this manual stuff is for the birds.
It’s probably for the best since I’m not getting entire paragraphs of prose yet. I appear to be channeling just a few random sentences and sometimes only snippets of those. This is the beginning of creativity for me: small little light bulbs of ideas popping off all over my brain, sometimes all at once. Some might call this ADD; I call it the beginnings of genius…Dun, dun, dun… or madness, since the two are so closely related.
Right now, they are glimpses of inspiration and from what I can remember, some of them are ridiculously funny too, which is way better than being ridiculously good-looking, no matter what Ben Stiller says because your looks will only last so long; well unless you get Botox and then I suppose they’ll last a little longer, but your neck is going to look creepy in comparison with your face. Words of wisdom right there.
After that intro, I figure it only makes sense for me to join Amanda’s link up and share the smatterings of my mind; the ones I can actually remember, that is. Plus, yesterday Laura asked to “see the margins of [my] mental notebook,” and I like to deliver.
It’s not delivery, it’s Digiorno baby.
Laura, you should probably be very afraid.
And away we go:
- I got my braces off on Monday, and I’ve been on cloud nine ever since. I keep wanting to chant “Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty. I’m free at last.” It’s possible I’m being a little dramatic, but since the orthodontist also told me I had ‘tight cheeks,’ I think I’m allowed to be over the top.
- The orthodontist sent me on my way with some helium filled balloons and a grab bag of chemical laced candy. I was mortified. I get they wanted to give me a little treat; indulge in all the things I couldn’t eat while wearing a mouthful of metal, but really…. I would have preferred a bagel, an apple, or an ear of corn. My braces robbed me of corn on the cob last summer, and I want that back. You can keep your Cheetos and Double Bubble.
- I ate the Reese Pieces, a caramel because it reminded me of my grandpa and a couple of ‘chocolate’ flavored Tootsie rolls because they were there. Stupid righteous indignation.
- In more non-braces news, I have to wear retainers full-time for the next year, which means this week, I’m rocking a lisp. This makes it incredible hard to be professional at work. At home, that’s a different story altogether. I don’t even try. There I suck the helium out of balloons and mutter all sorts of deliciousness, including curse words, like Shit because nothing sounds funnier than a lispy and helium filled ssshhhit.
- Fast topic change here: this was my dinner last night. A snack platter of some of my favorite things… Strawberries, Brie, Havarti, Bell Peppers, Celery, Kalamata Olives, Multi-grain Crackers, Blueberries, Raspberries, and my Strange But Good Pesto.
- Madison left me perhaps one of the best comments I’ve ever received. She told me to “Go run with those unicorns and rare species of gorillas (that also happen to be vanilla?) and “Do What You Want, Be Who You Are.” She is one smart cookie, despite her inability to ingest them, and I would love to find the land of the unicorns and my people.
- More mental margins: For some reason, known only to my psyche, I find this highly amusing.
- I have no idea how anyone can hear or read any piece of Bohemian Rhapsody and not break into song. Even Poe himself would have danced. I blame Wayne’s World. Alright fine, fine, I’ll just play the damn thing already. Happy now.
Go rock out with your Bohemian Rhapsody out.
What thoughts do you have to share today. Please tell me some of you starting singing? If not, you must be a) dead inside or b) too young to appreciate Queen. In either case, I will still love you, although I’m hoping you’ll throw a Queen song onto your next playlist and think of me.