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Public Banana

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled program today for a word from our sponsor.

Alright fine, I don’t actually have a sponsor, but if I did it would be a banana or a local farmer, even though there’s no connection between the two; not when you live in the cold tundra of Ohio. 

Meg Public Banana

Chiquita called. They want their banana back.

We don’t grow bananas here, and it might be a good thing too because I’d be swinging from the banana trees faster than Tarzan on the hunt for Jane. Can we talk about Tarzan for a quick second? That guy got to spend his entire existence walking around in a loin cloth, chasing women, and eating bananas. Not too shabby if you ask me. Also, I suspect Tarzan was the first high-profile public banana eater, and he did it in while mostly nude. I guarantee he made eye contact with Jane while he was eating them too.

9 Plus Inch Public Banana

When I first began my career as a food and fitness blogger, I thought I’d be known for my healthy, whole food loving ways. Perhaps people would be drawn to my fever for fitness, my vehemence for veggies, my love of all things local, or even my fond fancy for fruit, coupled with a chunk of cheddar. Or maybe they’d be turned off by so much alliteration. There’s no accounting for word play these days. Not when there’s so many OMG’s or ROTFL’s to be had. Bunch of hussies, that lot.   

Much like real life though, things rarely happen the way you think, which is why I’ve somehow become known as the public banana girl; that and “The One Who Eats Cheese.” True story. I couldn’t make this up even if I tried. It turns out I’m the Harry Potter of the dairy industry and gloriously indecent for Chiquita, Dole or Del Monte. Pick your potassium of choice.

Meg Banana Again

I eat a lot of bananas while wearing sunglasses because it’s cool.

I’m guessing my #publicbanana campaign has a lot to do with my present banana girl label. In hindsight, I could see how it’d have that effect. At the time though, I didn’t realize how much scandal surrounds my beloved bananas, nor my desire to consume them publicly. I mean sure they’re phallic, we all knew that. With a glowing stat sheet, they’re pretty much the perfect food, and it doesn’t get easier than peel and bite. You don’t even need utensils to enjoy their fabulousness, which is just one of the many reasons Tarzan loved them.

Film Noir Public Banana

Film Noir Public Banana

The point of this entire post, pretending the first few paragraphs were merely for fodder or filler, is to explain the method behind my madness. While many of you recognize the beauty of my public banana campaign, most of you have no earthly idea why I actually do it, and it’s time to change all that. Drumrole please….

The sole purpose behind the public banana is because I’m a wise ass, with emphasis on the wise part. No really, it’s because someone told me bananas should only be consumed in private. I’m sure you can imagine my reaction, considering my parents never taught me this valuable life lesson. I cocked my head to the side, furrowed my brow, wiped the last trace of banana from my lips and said, “Say what?”

Interrupted Public Banana

I had no idea this was a thing, which is why I decided to make consuming them publicly My Thing. By the way, reverse psychology never works on me (snort).

One final note because I cannot ignore this for another second: for those naysayers who try to hoodwink us, suggesting bananas will make us fat or prevent us from losing weight, I respond with, “Pish Posh. The quality and quantity of food you eat will make you fat or prevent you from losing weight. Blaming it on a banana is preposterous. You leave my friend alone.”

With that nasty business out of the way, I propose you go forth and embrace your bananas. Hold them up high, whisper sweet nothings into their ear, and last but never, ever least, eat them publicly.

Wait. Are you still here? Ohhhhh, you want to know how to contribute to the public banana campaign. See, this is why I adore you all. To spread the banana love, hash tag your photos #publicbanana and share it on The Gram, Facebook, and Twitter.

Comments

  6. Brittany says

    Tarzan for sure made eye contact with Jane while eating a banana, he probably ate more than one at a time to show off. Or maybe it was the other way around. I’m sure he had a secret tunnel in his loin cloth to hide…happiness. Bananas should never be a private affair, I’ve been eating a ton myself and always open and very public. I have no fear of looking seductive though because I actually look like a hot mess while shoving them into my face due to extreme hunger.

    Reply

    • Meghan says

      That finger is the unwanted side effect of too many public bananas; the consequences if you will. Or maybe it’s just a poor Instagram filter. 🙂

      Thanks for making me laugh. I appreciate it.
      Meghan recently posted…Public BananaMy Profile

      Reply

  9. Jen @ Chase the Red Grape says

    Bananas rule. Full stop. I actually cannot imagine a life without bananas… It would make me cry… Actually I have cried when I woke up one morning to find there was no bananas for breakfast… Thank goodness my hubby went to the shops to get me one!

    And #publicbanana… Bring it on!
    Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…CrossFit – Just Jump Jen!My Profile

    Reply

  13. Amanda @ .running with spoons. says

    I think of you when I eat bananas. Is that weird? And you know I’m completely as enamoured by this phallic fruit as you are; if not as public about it. I’m currently up to 4 a day on average and seriously considering moving somewhere tropical because this cold Canadian weather is not helping in my banana ripening situation, and I refuse to eat them unless they have a good amount of spot. We all have our type, and I like a [banana] that’s tall and spotty.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. currently – december 2014 .My Profile

    Reply

  16. Miss Polkadot says

    Cheesy banana lady, you. If Tarzan was still alive he’d have to retire from his position as banana spokesman now.
    I’m not even sure how to say it but … you will not see me rock the #publicbanana anytime soon. Not because I could go without this sunny, sweet and sassy fruit – that oh so perfectly encompasses my personality, too, don’t you agree?! – but I’m the odd kind of banana fan who doesn’t like eating them whole. Does that sound weird? I like them in baked goods, in their mashed and caramelized form in my oat bran, as banana softserve … just never whole.
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Cozy comfort food and Christmas cookiesMy Profile

    Reply

  19. Kaylin @ Enticing Healthy Eating says

    So I was at my boyfriend’s apartment this past weekend while visiting him for Thanksgiving and one evening when I was eating a banana, I looked over at him and smiled, posed, and said “public banana!” He had no idea what I was talking about and said “I don’t get it”. So….I had to explain to him basically exactly what you had explained here in this post. And I’m happy to say I was inspired by your displays of public banana to start using “public banana” because I find it adds enjoyment to life! No joke! Haha.
    Kaylin @ Enticing Healthy Eating recently posted…Single-Serving Banana Funfetti PuddingMy Profile

    Reply

  20. Anoushe says

    Ok so for the love of bananas I thought it would be the right time to ask your take on this whole raw till 4 diet thing where you eat loads of fruit (mainly bananas) all day. It was the first thing I thought about when you mentioned bananas not making people fa etc – there’s a whole diet based on that disagreement! I personally find 10 bananas in one sitting slightly extreme but hey whatever floats your boat?!

    Reply

    • Meghan says

      I have not heard of this movement although I guess if you eat ten bananas in a day and nothing else, you’re very likely lose weight since that’s only 1,000 calories. That being said, I wouldn’t recommend eating an entirely fruit based diet and I adore fruit. I also wouldn’t eat ten bananas in a sitting. That seems a bit extreme to me, and I’m really about balance and moderation. Also public bananas too. 😉

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
      Meghan recently posted…Slow Cooker Cauliflower Masala RecipeMy Profile

      Reply

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