I’ve never had an eating disorder, aside from some random fumbling and a few failed experiments in high school, which is par for the course at that age. I’ll also never look at a bottle of Boone’s the same way again. Shudder.
(source)
This week is National Eating Disorder Week, and the theme is I Had No Idea, which I find to be incredibly ironic, in a sad sort of way. Here’s the thing, as a part of the Healthy Living Blog community, I find myself surrounded by bloggers who still have no idea. They practice food restriction, exercise compulsion, and/or drastic caloric reductions all under the guise of healthy living. The not so funny part is they believe they’re promulgating health and wellness, as opposed to exhibiting signs of having an eating or an exercise disorder. Yup, sad stuff to be sure.
I’m not trying to be offensive here, call people out, or make anyone feel less. Being an ass doesn’t interest me, and I’m certainly in no position to judge. We’ve all got issues, mine just come in different flavors, which are grouped by color and in rainbow order. Obviously.
The bloggers caught up in this behavior are not bad people with nefarious intentions, pushing disordered agendas, all while cackling away as little girls get skinnier and skinner. That’s not how it works. Instead, these bloggers are you. They’re me. They’re works in progress and sometimes they’re on a downward spiral and the simple fact of the matter is they have no idea.
It can be a razor sharp line between disordered behavior and healthy habits. The healthy side of that line is pretty damn sexy though. Let’s talk about it.
The healthy side includes gorgeous bowls of greens, topped with flavorful and fat filled cheese.
It includes dressing for those very same salads.
It includes letting go of control and being okay with that.
It includes not caring about the caloric make up of everything or even better, anything.
It includes happily consuming food with no labels.
It includes eating without needing to weigh each and every morsel you ingest.
It includes having your cake and eating it too.
It includes a life without laxatives, diuretics or weight loss pills.
It includes eating without wanting to purge.
It includes trusting yourself around trigger foods.
It includes all the yolks because it’s where the nutrients live. Plus, they’re delicious.
It includes eating without obsessing over macros.
It includes eating without remorse or guilt.
It includes eating without needing to exercise it off.
It includes bread. Mostly whole grain, but sometimes the fluffy white and possibly sugar filled Orange Chocolate Chip variety.
It includes traveling without a suitcase full of your own food, just in case.
It includes walking away from the scale.
It includes not letting food control your life.
It includes booze, in the middle of the day.
It includes dinner out, without worrying about what’s on the menu and if it meets your dietary needs.
It includes eating publicly and with friends.
It includes eating until you feel truly satiated.
It includes going back for seconds simply because it tastes good.
It includes pizzas topped with veggies and cheese.
It includes working out when you feel like it, not because you have to.
It includes not worrying about when you’re going to squeeze in the next workout.
It includes Pajama Days.
It includes complete days off from exercise, yoga included.
It includes recognizing you are enough right now. You are strong enough. You are smart enough. You are good enough. You are Enough.
If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating or exercise disorder, help is available here. It’s never too late to ask or get started.
Have you ever dealt with an eating or exercise disorder? If so, how did you or how are you working to overcome it?
Powerful words, wonderfully written.
Kirsten recently posted…Butternut Squash and Spinach Lasagna {Small Family Size}
Thanks Kirsten. I appreciate you sharing it on Google Plus too. You rock.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
I know this is a serious post but you have now made me daydream about pizza with heaps of cheese and pineapple on top… (One of the few times I enjoy pineapple, weird).
But honestly, strong writing my friend and very apt. I’ve never had an eating disorder but I’m pretty sure I’ve struggled with disordered eating and binging, food fear etc. For me it was a combination of things over a long time but it was key to make nourishment my focus, I had to learn to love my body at any size to take true care of it…
I think learning to love yourself regardless of size is key. Once you do that, you can focus your energies on getting healthy. Sounds like you have this well under control.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Amen. As you know–and you know my history–I think the “healthy” living community is actually filled with some of the most disordered people out there, whether they realize it or not. I’m not being snarky, but as someone with experience I can say that eating the same 10 foods every day, obsessing over recipes, macros, how every bite makes their stomachs feel, working out every day, etc. is NOT normal. There’s health and then there is obsession, and so many times that line is crossed under the guise of “healthy living.” The worst is that companies send these bloggers products and others encourage their behavior, which isn’t only ridiculous, but dangerous.
Sorry for the rant, but you struck a nerve. Needless to say, I adore you, your philosophy and this post. Carry on.
Abby recently posted…An Application for Flavortown
Rant away my friend. This blog is a rant safe environment, and I agree with you. The healthy living community isn’t so healthy and it bothers me because people look to those bloggers for nutritional advice and ideas, and all their getting is a boatload of grief and further food issues.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
I’m glad you wrote this! I actually stopped reading “healthy living” blogs for this very reason. I think I read maybe 2-3 now, including yours! I got so tired of every blog being exactly the same – obsessing over eating “real” food and working out every single day to the point where it was just unhealthy and dangerous. It started making me so sad seeing hundreds (more like thousands and thousands) of HLBs that were clearly bordering on eating disorders and not only was no one saying anything, but all their comment sections would be filled with “oooh that plain salad looks so delish!!” And then there’d always be a post like, “I ate a piece of chocolate and I know it’s SO bad but maybe it’s ok to be bad sometimes!!” It really became heartbreaking to see so many intelligent women reduced to ramblings about lettuce leaves and exercise guilt.
Sara recently posted…hello from ohio!
I’m with you, the best approach is not to read at all. For the most part I avoid those blogs, although I still see things in comments on my blog, on other blogs and it is painful to watch.
I’m happy you’ve stuck with me all this time.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Wonderfully written post Meghan.
Kate @ Kate Lives Healthy recently posted…WIAW #35
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
geeeez louise this post made me tear up, brilliant writing. you hit every damn nail on the proverbial head and then a few extra ones. i just have so many emotions, help me.
i have struggled with an ED in my past and it’s something that has given me great experience, insight, and strength. and appreciation. much appreciation… for what is REAL. you’re right, living in a box of food rules is not REAL. real is everything you’ve mentioned plus or minus whatever floats your ice cream.
i stopped reading healthy living blogs for a long time… because of THIS very thing. i found they were all making me feel anxious and the opposite of healthy. i mean really, WTF and why care about all this data and focus so much on some of this stuff. i don’t want to get offensive, i’m just totally picking up what you’re putting down. you know what’s up. i have been there, i’ve been one of those people. and it’s exhausting. and i was single and lived in a self-made box. i don’t want a box, i want real life and that requires getting out and getting dirty. soak it all up. i’m so glad i’ve left that box, and experienced real joy from things other than whatever food i denied myself, or whatever treat i allowed myself. i get to feel real joy from life: sunsets! awesome weather! art! reading smutty books! movies! soooooo much more to life. and it’s awesome to eat the food, too.
ugh this is such a great post. you rock
Thank you, and I’m thrilled you made your way out of that box because I think you and your fun loving family are pretty fabulous. Life is so much better on this side of the line. Glad you’re here.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Beautifully written, and what a powerful message! As you know I have my issues with anxiety and exercise addiction, which is the “flavor of the month” (or 5 years) for my underlying stuff. I think one thing people don’t realize is that eating disorders and related problems can manifest in various ways over someone’s life. Honesty and self awareness are so important!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…Confused at 10am + A Promise to Myself
I agree. Disordered behaviors have a way of starting innocently enough and then before you know it, it’s an issue. It’s scary how it creeps up on you.
I’m sorry I didn’t realize your stuff has been going on for five years now. I can only imagine how hard it’s been for you. I wish you all the best in working through it, and I’m here if you ever need an ear or a shoulder. Self-awareness is huge and taking the next step is even more powerful. I’m rooting for you.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Michele – I think it has been wonderful and probably very important how you have slowly talked about all of this over the last year. I hope some of your readers take a cue and look inside and find the strength to say to themselves “I have a problem”. Because for some, including a few blogs we both follow … it is pretty obvious that they do struggle.
Michael Anderson recently posted…Russian Optimism – Nursery Rhymes With an Innocent Title & Horrible Ending
Fine line indeed. I do find the whole taking food with you when you travel to be a tad cray cray. Snacks are one thing. Meals are another. It’s scary because anyone with internet (everyone), you and me included, can make ourselves self-dubbed “experts” in anything… and people listen! And follow! And believe! That’s why I’m so weary of giving any real training “advice” until I get some certifications under my belt because I just don’t believe in dispensing “knowledge” just because it is what I do. That’s dangerous. Also dangerous is a copious usage of quotation marks, which I have done in this “comment”.
Chris recently posted…The Bigger The Challenge
For the looks of this comment, I’d say “danger” in quotes obviously is your middle name. 😉
Yeah, I always like to preface my pearls of wisdom or nutritional advice with the fact I’m slightly crazy and not at all qualified to dispense information.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
I so totally adore this post, Meg- perfectly written! Although Ive never had an eating disorder, I do think I was borderline orthorexic at one point ie shunning processed foods as much as possible. While the majority of my diet is still filled with real, whole foods, the difference now is that I also have some of the not-so-nutritious stuff…and without a morsel of guilt. One more thing I’d like to add to your comprehensive list above is not letting food control your life- while food is definitely an aspect of life, there is an issue when it starts to take over your life.
I agree. When you give food and exercise the ability to dictate your life, you might want to get help.
I’m so glad you’ve got a balanced approach to both now. I always find your blog refreshing.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Atta girl, I love this post. I’ve never had an eating disorder (I’ve never counted calories in my life, not once). But if I were to struggle with anything it would be exercise compulsion. The thing is, is that running doesn’t help me lose weight. True story. Running keeps me healthier by increasing my appetite and I don’t ignore my hunger. So the imbalance that comes with my obsessive running mileage is in the form of being so addicted to the stress relief that comes with running that I literally run away from life. Running can literally take over my life and rob me of sleep, time with family, etc etc. However, I am self-aware enough to keep that in check, and I also depend on the people around me to let me know if this starts to happen. It’s humbling, but necessary. Sometimes we don’t know we’re doing it because we’re so IN it.
Suzy recently posted…Mileage Monday
I can understand that. When you’re in the thick of things, it’s often hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only thing I would suggest is to find an alternate source of stress relief and then mix that up with the running so it’s not all one thing. I love me some guided imagery. I always feel a little silly going in and fantastic coming out.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Hey. Okay so maybe I should have just emailed you this or something, but I can’t get what you’ve said out of my head. I feel so pulled to take a break from running. I did it a few years ago, where I’d fluff out a blanket and meditate instead and it did something to me, something that running just can’t touch no matter how many miles I’d run. So, you inspired me to take a break. Oh, and the pulled fkn muscle in my shin may have played a small part as well. 😉 Thanks, Meghan. I linked you up in my post tonight.
Suzy recently posted…What We Can Build With Branches and Leaves
This makes my heart happy and probably your shin too. I was actually thinking about what happens if you get injured. How do manage stress then if running is your only outlet? I never like to put all my eggs in one basket so I’m thrilled to hear you’re looking into more eggs. Also, I’m hear if you need an additional outlet. Feel free to comment or reach out via email.
Meghan recently posted…Parmesan Rosemary Savory Granola Recipe
Such a great post! And seriously, I am now considering pizza for dinner from looking at that photo. (I think I have a pizza dough in the freezer, maybe I will take it out now)…I totally agree with you and lately, I can’t help but limit my exposure to certain blogs which are frustrating in the sense as you describe above. I feel bad but it’s not my place to interject. I can just choose to read what I want to read so that’s what I have been doing lately.
meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles recently posted…Things That Make Me Happy
I hope you went with pizza for dinner. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
You had me at daylight boozy pajama days!
caren recently posted…February Featured Athlete – Alexis of Fit Lexy’s Kitchen
Daylight boozy pajama days are some of my favorites.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Roughly 10 years ago I had massive food struggles. It was bad, and I have to be very conscious to not let myself get too focused on how much and what I’m eating. I do my best to eat healthy food….for the most part.
It’s really difficult when, like now, I’ve gained weight and would like to lose some, but I can’t get overly focused on the numbers because then I start in on a very slippery slope.
Ange @ Cowgirl Runs recently posted…Motivate Me Monday: 2/23
Congratulations on working through your struggles. I know it couldn’t have been easy and it’s amazing all the same.
I’m not sure how much weight you’ve gained, but in the big picture part of life, the excess weight only matters if it impacts your health.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Now I’m craving pizza, cakes, and midday drinking. Thanks for that.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…15 Moving Tips
You are most welcome. It’s what I do.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
Beautifully written, lady. And you know I wholeheartedly agree. It really breaks my heart to see so many bloggers out there struggling with this kind of thing and not even being aware that they have a problem. I feel like issues surrounding food and body image have become so mainstream and normal that people are almost -expected- to struggle with them at some point. Like that’s just not right. Thanks for helping bring attention to the issue and showing all the perks of what life without disordered eating is like 🙂
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. i had no idea my healthy habits weren’t healthy at all .
I am in good company with you.
I agree how disheartening it can be seeing so many people unknowingly suffer. I wish I could help them all, but they have to want help for themselves first. In the meantime, we can just motivate by example and by practicing what we preach.
Meghan recently posted…NEDA: I Had No Idea
This is a wonderful post! And echos my sentiments exactly. Disordered eating is definitely a problem in the blogging community, which is why I’ve stopped reading most HLB blogs. But like you said, they’re not bad people – they’re just struggling. I hope for their health and happiness that they’re able to get help though.
Chelsea @ Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Fried Egg on Toast with Herb Oil
That’s exactly right. It’s people struggling and we should be offering them support in a constructive and positive manner because at the end of the day, we do this to share health and wellness.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Random Day Edition
Love this post! You’re damn right with every single word. I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder which I always outline to be connected to my CED. But actually I am not always totally convinced that this is entirely true. Maybe I would have develloped it anyway…. but you never know.
Reading through this post I realized for once how deep rooted and wide spanned this behavior really has been. It’s always easy to blame the CED for disordered behavior. I must say that I am truely shocked. But on the other hand I am really proud and relieved how far I have already come. After all my favorite activity at the moment is day drinking in my pjs with the hubby 😉
Juli @1000lovelythings recently posted…Catching up Monday
I don’t know what CED is, although I’m glad you’re working through the issues and tackling them head on. PJ day drinking is too important to pass up. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Random Day Edition
okay guilty, i did pack a lot of food for this trip, but only cause i’m cheap and it’s crazy $$ here. But seriously, thank YOU for being an advocate for TRUE health… and balance. Pass the cheese and wine and I will toast you!
lindsay recently posted…Bacon Gouda Chive Dip with Secret SUPERFOOD Ingredient!
Excuses, excuses…just kidding. I actually bring my CSA veggies when I go on my family vacation in the summer. I do it though because I don’t want them to go to waste and with a CSA you get them whether you want them or not. Also, there’s a kitchen at the cottage and we all take turns making meals for one another.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Random Day Edition
Hands down, my favourite post on NEDA. You are a gem and this is wh I’m moving to Ohio. Because (except for the meat filled goodies- That’s what the Hubby is for!) I have no qualms picking off your plate after I’ve polished off mine.
Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…Big News- The Big Man’s World E-Cookbook!
You’re assuming there’s every anything left on my plate. Ha!
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Random Day Edition
Awesome post, and so absolutely true! I have loved all of the other comments, and it is so true – so often people in ‘healthy living’ blogging are dishonest with themselves and others. They go on ‘fad diets’ such as Paleo not for the good and reasonable reasons that some with health issues do so, but because it almost invites extreme restriction. Then they do the ‘Paleo Cleanse’ (Whole 30) … because Paleo wasn’t restricting enough! They are the ones who comment always positively when someone is being dishonest on their blog, posting pictures that distort portions (bullshots), or go the other side and their ‘WIAW’ features about 6000 calories of food and we’re supposed to believe that 100-lb 5-foot-nothing ate that in one day … um, I couldn’t manage half that and I played on the line in high school football! 🙂
It drastically changed my blogging and social media for 2015 as I said ‘enough’ – I have my own ‘disordered thinking’ issues from losing so much weight, but I fully own that you are never ‘cured’ of an eating disorder – I know I am not!
Thanks again!
Michael Anderson recently posted…Russian Optimism – Nursery Rhymes With an Innocent Title & Horrible Ending
Thanks for being open and honest about your own issues. Sometimes I think the best way to tackle these things is by coming out so to speak. It removes some of the shame (of which none is deserved) and in doing so it opens up a huge support network in your family and friends, being blogging buddies or your next door neighbor. I do think most are in denial though and being pretty comfortable with denial (hello defense mechanism!), I can understand that too.
I appreciate you talking the time to stop in and comment.
Meghan recently posted…WIAW: The Random Day Edition
I love you. And not just because you approve of day drinking.
Secret I haven’t told anyone: I’ve been struggling lately with the calorie counting thing. I would never advocate really for anyone else to do it unless they were simply trying to understand what they were putting in their bodies and lose excess poundage. I guess like I am. All 14 pounds of the stuff. But the thing with counting calories is you’re suddenly restricting yourself from the things you love AND you start to police everything that goes into your mouth. Real food, organic, or not. And when that starts happening, you start body shaming. Or at least I have been. And I know how terrible it is and I’m trying to work through it and NOT feel guilty when I want that second glass of wine. I don’t know when I suddenly started worrying about my wine tummy. I used to love my wine tummy. I don’t want to worry about it. But clearly there’s a disconnect between what I believe, what I know and the crap filling my brain. I blame the media.
PPS. Sorry this is so rambly. I clearly needed to get that off my chest. But not literally because I love having big tatas.
Kristy @ She Eats recently posted…13 Secrets About Black Bean Burgers the Government Is Hiding
Thank you for sharing this with me. It makes me happy you feel comfortable enough. Plus, we both have big tatas.
Look for an email from me love.
Meghan recently posted…Parmesan Rosemary Savory Granola Recipe
All I can say is YES. I make a point on my blog to be very open and honest about the struggles I endure, and I would never even think to label myself as a Healthy Living Blogger. Maybe one day.. but for now, I am just a girl sharing her life with the world- imperfections and all. Thank you so much for this!
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me recently posted…How Recovered Am I?
You are most welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it and took the time to stop in and say hi. Happy Sunday to you.
Meghan recently posted…Parmesan Rosemary Savory Granola Recipe
Just got to read this… what true words. Any time I see a blogger post something obviously disordered, I go to the comments hoping to see someone calling them out or telling them it is not normal (is that mean?). Yet, I rarely see that. I don’t know if it is because of comment moderating or if people truly have no idea.
Kate recently posted…Why I smile: My Recovery
I think a lot of people truly have no idea so calling someone out on the behavior isn’t very helpful, although I have left gentle hints before only when I felt comfortable enough with the person. I also hoped they knew my inquiry was coming from a place of care and concern, not judgment and scorn.
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