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Baby Gender Reveal: Dun, Dun, Dun…

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One of the joys of being an older pregnant woman, aside from the whole geriatric label, is all the fun genetic testing you get to experience.

I’ve given more blood than a vampire consumes on a weekend bender, the kind where you wake up in the gutter the next morning with remnants of last night’s shenanigans still stuck to your face.

Full disclosure: there is one perk of having a…hmm, shall be say, “mature” pregnancy, and I don’t mean it in a moral compass, grown up, type way; we all know I failed at that long ago. No, the benefit is finding out the baby’s gender ridiculously early and also completely by surprise, if you’re me. 

creative-ways-to-reveal-the-sex-of-your-baby

(source; Hey there little fella.)

So inside of dramatically whipping out a pink ribbon or blue bow tie, biting into a cupcake filled with food dye, or having a balloon explode with colored confetti in your face (although that last one could be fun), I’ve decided to share exactly how I received the news.

Allow me to set the scene: it’s a random Monday in mid-October. I am happily working away at the office, doing my best to quell my nausea and pretend like the smell of someone’s lunch isn’t making me sick. No one at work knows of my situation. My cell phone interrupts my reverie.

♫ Teenage wasteland. It’s only teenage wasteland. Teenage wasteland, oh yeah. Teenage wasteland. They’re all wasted ♫

Me: Hello, this is Meghan.

Doctors Office: Hi Meghan, it’s Doctor Vampires Office calling to report on your latest round of blood work. The results are negative.

Me: um, does negative mean positive here?

Doctors Office: Negative means normal.

Me: Oh great, good news. Thanks for calling and letting me know.

Doctors Office: wait, wait, one more thing. Based on your blood work, we also know the gender of the baby. Do you want to know?

Me: (silence)

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

(Composes herself)

Oops, sorry about that. You caught me off guard. Please, go ahead; lay it on me.

Doctors Office: It’s a girl.

Me: (silence)

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

Oh shit! 

End Scene.

custom-gender-reveal-duck-title-pic

(source: I can’t believe this exists)

Now, a nice normal wife might choose to surprise their husband with any of the aforementioned things, although I refuse to spend a single cent on a gender reveal duck. With cupcakes, there’s at least a chance; they’re edible and filled with sugar. A proper spouse might simply decide to share the news in person or at the very least pick up the phone and call. 

Not me though. Nope, I opted to catch him off guard, in much the same fashion as I myself was surprised. It seemed fitting, although the Hubby might have a different take.

Gender Reveal Text to Hubby

What’s your take on all this gender reveal business?

Comments

  4. Dying over two things. First, that card – what.the.fudge 😯 😆 And second, the fact that you told the Hubby to buy decent coffee. I had that swill, and I honestly didn’t think it was THAT bad. Then again, I’m a sucker for coffee, and I’l happily drink it even if it tastes like watered down tar. My parents had no idea what I was going to be until I actually popped out, and I have no idea how they managed to go so long without knowing. I’d want to know, but I’m not sure I’d throw a party for it with coloured cupcakes and exploding balloons. It all looks great on Pinterest, but that’s not really who I am.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…healthy chocolate lover’s blender browniesMy Profile

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  6. Hahaha that’s amazing. We have quite a deal in common, I also was giving blood and being poked weekly. Each Wednesday afternoon I got to hold my breath and pray we weren’t having an alien or chili pepper. Anyhow, I was working the day I got the call about the gender. They said everything looks good and wanna know the gender? Of freaking course! I swear I knew but only because my a feeling. Not like I minded either way.
    Anyhow, I sent a similar text to you except I said we know the gender. Hubby called me right away. Oh the joys of pregnancy. So many surprises and proddings.
    Congrats again mamma. We’re having girls and the world will be that much more interesting 🙂
    Danielle recently posted…a look at the first yearMy Profile

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  7. Congrats! Girls are awesome. Obvs! Boys too, but we’re better. 😉
    Love the announcement, and also love your cheese/berry cravings! I do not even have the pregnant excuse and that could quite easily have been my shopping list to my fiance, though it would normally also include wine.
    We are planning to start a family after we get married this summer, and people have already(!) asked me if I will find out the sex. I am honestly not sure! It’d be nice to have a complete surprise, but I think I am too much of a control freak and would want to know in advance. If they hadn’t sprung it on you, would you have asked?
    Oh yeah, and the ‘geriatric mother’ thing – I have that to look forward to as well, since I’ll be at least 35. Fun.
    x
    Anna International recently posted…2015 – How’s It Been?My Profile

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    • Le sigh… I miss wine.

      Either way, I would have found out the gender. I’m too much of a planner and a control freak to let it be a surprise.

      Feel free to vent to me anytime you want about the whole geriatric pregnancy business. I can most definitely relate and I’ll also tell you it will all be fine.
      Meghan recently posted…Baby Gender Reveal: Dun, Dun, Dun…My Profile

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  9. EEEEEEEEHHHHH! A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for you!!!!! And I love how you found out! lol. Me? How I found out? I knew on my walk to the appointment – I stopped in at a maternity store where I found a pink maternity shirt. I asked for it in my size and all that they had was blue. I knew right then and there that I was about to find out that I was having a boy….Sure enough, at the hospital 20 week appointment minutes later, I was told we were having a boy.
    meredith @ Cookie ChRUNicles recently posted…WIAW: What I Ate & WhyMy Profile

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  11. I chose to find out the sex of all 3 but didn’t care to do a big reveal. Adam on the other hand wanted to at least with our family, so I let him do it. That was 9 years ago and I don’t even remember the details!

    Also when I found out my first would be a girl, I was the one on the floor with a semi nervous breakdown. Nothing makes you reflect on your own life more than knowing that you’re about to potentially re-parent a version of yourself. Congrats on a girl! With two now I can say it’s completely awesome!
    Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…WIAW – A Monday in the LifeMy Profile

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  12. Congratulations! Even more I love how you told your husband. That’s probably what I would have done… When I told my husband I was pregnant with our second it was kind of an Oh Shit moment after I took a test. Our firstborn started screaming in his crib and it was one of those mornings, so I just woke my husband up, handed him the test and went to grab the screaming baby. It took him a few minutes for the shock to wear off. 😉
    Heather recently posted…Gingerbread Architects in the MakingMy Profile

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  13. Congratulations!! Love the text to your husband. We had a gender reveal party for my cousin and our other cousin’s girlfriend made cupcakes with pink frosting in the middle. Jaime had actually told me several weeks before that she already knew it was a girl, but that’s neither here nor there. The cupcakes were delicious.

    Confetti/glitter-filled balloons would give me anxiety, I think. (I know.)

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  14. MEGHAN THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Andrew and I want to have a girl SO bad. Callum looks exactly like Andrew and we want to have a little Lily with brown curly hair and a foul mouth. Butttt we already have 6 kids, and it’s actually getting ridiculous. Soooo it’s not going to happen. Sooooo I’ll have to live vicariously through you now but I sure as hell not going to do it if your husband keeps buying the horrible coffee that tastes like swill.
    Suzy recently posted…Woozy Wednesday: Cough SlurrupMy Profile

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  16. Congrats, Meghan! That is such exciting news. I’m not a parent yet, but I feel I’d be more down with the low-key approach to revealing the gender to others. I do enjoy seeing other people’s excitement by doing the whole cupcake thing and over-the-top hoopla, but not sure if I’ll do the same. I’m always down for cupcakes, though, so we shall see! 😉
    Sara @ Oats & Rows recently posted…Currently: January 2016!My Profile

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  17. I only side eye gender reveals when I hear how much they cost. :O I actually don’t want to know until I have the baby, but my husband isn’t so sure about that.
    I’m excited for your little girl- she’s going to have an awesome example of a strong woman!
    Kate recently posted…The fiber dilemmaMy Profile

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  18. Oh my God! I was so looking forward to this post! This message is so hilarious. I am actually quite fond of that shopping list. The coffee followed by the kissing smilie 😀

    Gender reveal isn’t a thing in Germany. Not at all. The first time I saw a full blown gender reveal party on a blog I was like WTF???

    If I will ever be pregnant this would be exactly the way I’d spill the news. To everyone.

    I am so excited for you! A little Meg <3
    Juli@1000lovelythings recently posted…Healthy Carrot Cake Smoothie with FrostingMy Profile

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  20. One of the many, MANY reasons I adore you. I’m with you on not making this shit a huge deal, but I’m also with you on not being hung ho about having kids so perhaps we are in the minority on this one. I think your reveal was perfect. Plus as I commented on your IG photo, pairing the news with a comment about cheezits always wins.
    Brittany recently posted…May the Life Force Be with YouMy Profile

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  21. Meghan,
    I heart that text. it is classic you.
    I knew my girl was a girl before I knew I was pregnant. I had a dream that I pushed out a neurotypical healthy girl. When I found out I was ‘up the duff’ a few days later I was not surprised, and at one of my Level 2 USs (try being old-by-the-time-you-deliver + having prior kid with a birth defect, there’s a few extra tests, yeah) to see that she was in fact, a she. The OB-Geneticist doing the scan and I had an entire conversation about the baby’s gender with my mom sitting RIGHT THERE and mom never clued in.
    Bless her heart. Perks of being able to speak medical-ese, I suppose.

    The Monkey, because she’s a monkey in my mind being the result of mad monkey-loving public banana eating you, is so loved.

    Congrats.
    Kirsten recently posted…Sauerkraut and Summer Sausage PizzaMy Profile

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  22. If it was me, I would want to know the sex, for sure (knowing the sex of the baby is something that 9 times out of 10 is not done in the UK, everyone wants a surprise and as for a party… Never heard of one until I saw it on an American blog). I love how you told the hubs, catching them off guard is so much fun!
    With regards to ducks, gender reveal parties and all that jazz… Heck no. Fair play to anyone who wants to do that but is soooo not me!
    Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…Murph and Me!My Profile

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  27. I just typed, “Oh boy” to start my comment. But I suppose that doesn’t really work in this case. I don’t really know what else to say other than just smile. A lot. Really big. I’m really excited for you. And the hubby. This is all so wonderful. Eeeeeeee. <3
    Cora recently posted…A Little Help for my HormonesMy Profile

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  28. BAHAHHAHAH I’m dying at how you ‘told’ your husband. With my first we went to get an elective ultrasound to find out early (I opt out of all the genetic testing because $$$ aka not covered by my insurance at all because I’m low risk) and then told family on Christmas using their presents. With our second, my husband was attempting to console my first born who was having a meltdown because he had no idea what was happening to me. Alas, I have no “girl” advice for you, since I am due with a second tiny terror of the same gender. Either way CONGRATS!!!
    Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood recently posted…How to Get Smells Out of Wooden Cutting BoardsMy Profile

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