Clean Eats, Fast Feets

How Cats Have Prepared Me for Parenthood

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Day in and day out, I am reminded by otherwise lovely and caring individuals why having children is a “game changer.”

Ignoring the wasted sports analogy, at least on me, is there anyone not already aware of this fact?

Cats and Parenting

Let’s be real, this whole life altering business is the main reason I’ve shirked parenthood for years. The idea of giving birth to a tiny human and NOT having your life transformed in a ginormous way is more elusive than a tap dancing, winged unicorn wearing Chuck Taylors, which makes me wonder why friends and family alike feel compelled to repeatedly tell me.

I’ve done some thinking, which is always dangerous I know, and I’ve narrowed down their logic to two reasons: 1) They’re just so damn excited for me to join their club or 2) They’re nervous about my maternal instincts kicking in, so they’re prepping me the best way they know how. While I’m fairly certain their reasoning leans more towards the former and has nothing to do with me saying I will give the babe only a box and a wooden spoon, I figure it can’t hurt to ease their fears.

Therefore you should know, I’m not going into this whole motherhood business completely blind. I own cats, two of them at present and while they are no match for a tiny human, they have certainly prepped me for parenthood in a number of ways. Allow me to explain.

Cat Meme Terms are Simple

 

How Cats Have Prepared Me For Parenthood

Babies are the cat’s pajamas. It’s virtually impossible not to fall in love with those teeny tiny feet and their newborn smell.

Baby B's Feet

The same is true of kittens. Their little bitty paws and furry bodies make my heart melt.

Oscar

Babies wake you up at all hours of the night, wanting to be fed.

Your feline friends will too and without the structured confines of a crib. They jump on your head, run on closed doors, and knock things off your night side table until you meet their demands.

Babies make things like privacy and pooping in peace a thing of the past. I lost that years ago with Oscar.

Oscar Stalking Bathroom

In fact, cats have little to no regard for personal space. They believe your body is their temple, always; whereas breast feeding ends at some point in time unless you’re looking to set a world record.

Cats invading your personal space

Oscar and Meg - No Personal Space

Newborns bring with them a host of dirty diapers, blowouts, spit up, and projectile vomiting.

With your four legged friends, well they will lovingly puke on your new furniture five minutes after you’ve brought it into the house. You will step in wet fur balls more times than you can count; barefoot too.

Sam Sleeping - She's so Fluffy

I’ve been put to the test. I’ve wiped furry backsides since the fluffy one needs a little help, and I’ve cleaned my fair share of shit off the walls, the stairs, the floors, the carpet. You name it, Oscar’s managed to crap on it. I’m pretty sure he has IBS. 

Which leads me to my next point. Babies and cats alike will drive you to drink, although the latter will steal your food too, the second you turn your back, and they’ll growl at you when you try to reclaim it. There will be days you will growl back.

Max and the Mimosa

Max and the Muffin

Toddlers will bring you nonsensical crayon drawings, macaroni art, and popsicle picture frames which you will pretend is the next Mona Lisa, before sneaking it into the bin.

Cats will bring you rodents, hopefully dead. You will congratulate them on their prize before asking your spouse to get rid of the unwanted object.

Oscar and the Chipmunk

Meg and the Chipmunk

You have to keep your eye on babies every single second.

On the flip side, you will find your felines are always watching you. They’re like ninjas, everywhere and nowhere all at once.

Oscar on the ShelvesSam Hiding

Oscar Creeping

The similarities when it comes to tiny humans and furry friends are virtually endless.

They both throw tantrums.

No Human. This is my Pot Pie. Sam

They hoard the bed and all the covers.

Oscar Stretching

Neither listens, especially when you tell them the counter is off limits.

Oscar Sleeping on the Counter

They get into the most unusual of circumstances.

Oscar Stuck

They cause you to lose sleep and worry all night.

Oscar sleeping it off

And when it comes to control, we all know who’s really in charge.

IMG_6550

Last, babes and felines alike will look at you like you’re the only one who matters, which is what makes it all worthwhile.

Oscar Staring Adoringly

Thanks for letting me Think Out Loud today, Ms. Amanda.

How have your pets prepped you for parenthood?

Comments

  1. lol so true in so many ways. I think my toy poodle cindy sort of prepared me, although, I grew up with her as my pet, she was really my parents’ responsibility. life is never the same once a baby is born and it’s grueling and challenging but it all goes in phases that with each one, you know it will pass and in some ways, although things get harder at times, it does get easier as you et used to it. the newborn phase which was THE WORST for me, went so so fast. It’s almost like you say the quote, and this too shall pass, yet looking back, you want to savor each moment because aw they are so cute 🙂
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  3. Cats also run to the door when you get home demanding your attention. They usually want food, attention or in true Lassie fashion, to lead me to Timmy who fell down the well (you will only get that reference if you watched Lassie) 🙂 My cats also knock down the garbage and stand there while I clean it up. I forsee a lot of that in your future with your baby. The one good thing about cats, you didn’t have to push them out after carrying them inside you for 9 months 🙂
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  4. So true so true, especially the part about no surface being sacred. But there will be one moment the first time the cat inadvertently does something towards the baby where it changes… You will sit back and feel that click and go, oh shit.

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  5. Dyyyyinnggggg.
    Oh my god. In the wine glass. The creeper shots. The chipmunk! Oscar is totally a ninja.
    Thank you. Thank you for giving me a belly laugh.
    Oh and I never had a doubt you were lacking parental abilities. You are obviously already well, well experienced.
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  6. Ha ha, it’s all true, and there are days when my cats are more difficult than my two kids, so there you go! The nice thing about cats, though, is I can lock them in the basement when they’re out of control… not so much my cats. For some reason it’s highly frowned upon. Pfft.
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  11. Pretty sure my dog has IBS too. Maybe I passed it along to her. LOL! cats, dogs, whatever, they are like kids. Except they don’t talk back. Darn.
    Love this, love you, and love oscar!

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  12. I am dying laughing. Dying. Cats can have IBS?! Kids still make macaroni art?! And the mention of the word “blowout”… bwhahahahahahaha!

    But the icing… the icing was reminding me of the live chipmunk story. What cat brings a LIVE chipmunk inside?! While we’re out it… who the fuck decided to name then chipmunks? What a weird word…

    Anyway, good luck with all that. Call me and we’ll drink. Because birds and dogs drive to to AA… or away fro AA and around the corner to the bar.
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  13. 😆 And here I was thinking cats were no-fuss kind of creatures. I used to really be a dog person, but the older I get, the more I seem to like cats because I THOUGHT they basically took care of themselves. Clearly I’m delusional 😆 I’d love to have one, though… allergies be damned. And as much work as they are, at least pets can’t talk back. Or take your car for a joyride. Or charge things to your credit cards. Or become truants. Or… 😯
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…the ultimate banana oat greek yogurt muffinMy Profile

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  15. LOL! Your cats are hysterical. I find pets in general so funny. I’m definitely one of those people who spends too much time watching all those videos of dogs and cats doing silly things.

    Also I actually stared at that picture of your black and white patterned wall for a solid 2 minutes trying to find your cat haha.
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  16. Meghan,
    I’d say from my wise old experienced state that you’re as ready as you can be.
    And you’ll rock this, most of the time, and roll with what you can’t rock at that particular moment because . . . well what else can you do?
    I will say that neither my kids nor my dogs have spent much time on kitchen counters, though Robert Barker has tried his darnedest. And no baby will blend into the wallpaper/glass shelves like Oscar. He’s a ninja.
    I always thought it was funny that I could be sitting and feeding my son and my dog Jake (standard black Lab mix type mutt) could completely ignore the baby at my breast and demand attention from me as if there wasn’t a human between us. I’d expect cats to do the same.
    You’re doing awesome!
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    • Maybe the baby will blend into the newly shined up hardwood floors? Then again, if she has my complexion, she’ll stand out unless she’s in front of a snow bank wearing all white. What are the odds? Slim to none is my bet.

      I suspect I will have a baby eating from one boob while Oscar sleeps on the other. It’ll be a whole new level of bonding.
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  18. This is the best thing I’ve read all weekend. The photo of the tiny black and white cat face hidden in the black and white background is the best!! I miss having cats. I’m a dog mama now and they are so damn needy, much more than my old cats were. Well just in different ways. They are however etched into the crooks of my heart and drive me nuts with the cuteness. I imagine the dogs have been prepping me for motherhood ever since that first time I had to manually clean out Muffins butthole due to her fur being too long and having a case of the runs. They’ve taught me to love on another level that’s nice. Waking up covered in warm furry bodies is addictive and I am looking forward to doing morning cuddles with a little human in the mix.
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  20. I can’t even believe that Oscar brought that chipmunk into the house! That’s amazing! He’s an exceptional cat and I love that photo of him on his back with his pink paws in the air. *swoon* Changing poopy diapers is way better than wiping cat poo off the long stringy cat butt fur. Promise.
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  21. Haha this made me laugh! My cat is like a baby too – waking me up at all hours of the night, demanding food. Luckily, Arthur is a house cat so he cannot get his paws on live animals! He did leave a very large dead bug in on my pillow once though. Don’t know how it got into the house but glad Arthur was there to catch it for me!

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  24. I cannot agree more with you! Having a kitten really prepares you for what is coming next in your life. And thanks for the funny pics, I just showed my sister your post and she took away my laptop for a whole five minutes to read and laugh! 😛
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