Dear Mother Nature,
I implore you to come to your senses and realize this winter stuff is for the birds.
Honestly, I’ve had enough. If you need me to come right out and say it, then fine, I’ll say it:
I concede. I’m waving my white flag or really my twelve winter hats, six pairs of gloves, three sets of socks and double all other clothing because that’s how many layers I have to wear when I leave the house.
I’ll admit it. You win.
Now please take your single digit temperatures, in March no less (negative if you’re rocking Celsius) and go already. If you need help packing, shoot me a text because I’m your girl.
I’d be more than happy to roll the red carpet back to Antarctica or wherever it is you depart to when winter isn’t here. Hell, if you want to hang out in the sewers with Pennywise the Clown, that’s cool; I don’t judge, just so long as it means YOU. AREN’T. HERE.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I can’t take anymore. I’m done with you. I’ve had more than my fair share of winter, and I’m absolutely ready to come out of hibernation. In fact, I need to come out of this cave where I spend my nights and weekends because honestly I’m going borderline stir crazy, trapped with three felines, who want outside worse than I do. We’re only a week away from them eating one another and once that’s done, they’ll probably start in on me.
I realize there’s probably some blips left in the road: some blustery weather, some fifty mile an hour winds, and even a few more snow showers. In the meantime though, I need a sign. Something to rest my hopes on, something that says the end is near, something that means the cats won’t eat me.
I’m ready for Spring.
- I want to see green grass again, and I don’t mean the patch I accidentally snowblowed.
- I’m ready for crocuses to spring up, followed shortly thereafter by daffodils and tulips.
- I want to hear the birds sing; I’ll even take the damn neighborhood woodpecker who wakes us all up at 5 a.m. Alright scratch that last bit, you can leave him in Florida.
- I want to eat springtime vegetables again.
- I want to sleep with the window open, while a nice gentle breeze caresses my face.
- I want to pull my peep toed pumps out of storage and rock some toe cleavage. You never know how many years my feet have left, so I have to take advantage while I can.
- I’m ready to wear tank tops someplace other than the gym.
- I want to dig in the dirt, even if it means my nails will never be the same.
- I want to pick up my first CSA offerings of the season.
- I want to eat Heirloom tomato salads and sop up the juices with delicious bread.
- I’m even ready to find headless chipmunks at the back door, presents from my fighting, frisky felines.
- I’m ready to eat gelato, without the fear of being frostbitten.
- I’m ready to try this running business again.
- Truly, I just want to sit outside in a sun patch, drinking beet juice mimosas and making my lists.
Look Mother Nature, I know I’m asking a lot. It’s a tall order, and I can appreciate that, but I’m asking nevertheless. Please send this Winter Shit away and bring on the Spring. I’d be forever grateful. Thanks.
What signs of Spring do you want to see the most? What are you looking forward to doing outside? What are you looking forward to eating? If Spring doesn’t come soon and you live in a warm climate, how do you feel about house guests that come with cats?