I think it’s high time we talk veggies; farm share veggies to be exact.
Yes, I’m absolutely glossing over my disappearing act. What can I say? Life got in the way and I needed a sabbatical, partially due to my CSA, so this post is more than fitting, in a you don’t need lubrication to get there kind of way. Admit it; you missed my sexual innuendos. It’s also possible the Hubby is home for a solid week, which means I’m getting my groove back, and yes, I do mean it like that.
Back to the point of this post: CSA goodness.
For those of you who pick and choose your produce from a grocery store and then buy it in reasonable and manageable quantities, this post will likely be strange for you. Even so, I wanted to give you a glimpse into my world, so I’ve decided to share the pleasure, the panic, and the pandemonium, which comes with participating in a CSA.
Let’s give it up for The Glorious (pause for effect) The Magical (a second caesura) and the Overwhelming Produce which threatens to overtake you, your loved ones and everything in its path. At the end of the day, or really the season, only the strong survive.
Top Ten Signs (or way too many to count) You’re Participating in a CSA
- Produce pick up day is like your birthday and Christmas rolled into one.
- Phallic veggies become your thing.
- You get ridiculously excited for the first tomato of the season.
- You eat salads. Lots of them. In fact, you put the neighborhood bunnies to shame.
- You start to give away entire heads of lettuce.
- Come October, you beg people to take them.
- When they refuse, you try adding lettuce to smoothies. You realize this was a horrible idea and vow never to do it again.
- You do it again.
- You receive Facebook messages from dear friends simply stating “Greens Paralysis,” and know exactly what it means.
- You respond to those same messages with “I can’t eat another fucking salad.”
- Then you eat another fucking salad. You even like it.
- Managing and processing produce is high on your weekly To Do list.
- Chopping bell peppers at 11 p.m. on a Saturday night is all the rage.
- You turn down social engagements because your Bok Choy is on the brink of death, and you’ll be damned if you lose another bunch.
- You put in on an Autumn Pizza and declare yourself a genius.
- There is some kind of green soaking on your counter, in a giant vat of water, at any given moment.
- You’ve dubbed this method ‘Revival of the Fittest.’
- Sometimes you’re hoping it will fail, sending your sad and sorry produce to the Great Compost in the Sky or really the giant black bin in the backyard. Pfft, technicalities.
- The sight of wax beans makes you want to curl up into a fetal position or head for the hills with Julie Andrews and the Von Trapp kids.
- You learn to yodel.
- You head to Rozi’s and drink beer instead.
- You realize this is a much wiser decision and pat yourself on the back for such quick thinking.
- You start to lose counter space.
- Almost overnight bags of apples are everywhere.
- You put those same apples in everything.
- And I do mean everything.
- You have a small mountain of squash, hiding in a cool dark corner of your basement.
- You’ve named them.
- Fred and Sally to be exact.
- You’ve numbered them too.
- Kohlrabi is no longer a strange and scary thing.
- You meet the mother of all leeks.
- You learn beets make a mean mimosa.
- You get help from friends and find a way to make eggplant enjoyable.
- You buy a deep freezer.
- You pack that same freezer with all manner of soups, stews, chili, and produce.
- Sometimes you think that same produce is taunting you.
- It probably is.
- You single-handedly keep Ziploc in business.
- Tupperware is your new best friend.
- Sucking the air out of plastic baggies with a straw no longer feels illicit. In fact, it’s become the norm. You even have a spot for the straw in your utensil drawer.
- Despite all of this, you wouldn’t change a thing.
- In fact, you even sign up for the Winter CSA program.
- You call yourself a die hard, and it’s true.
Have you ever participated in a CSA? If so, what was your favorite and least favorite part? What are your signs you’re participating in a CSA? If not, you should consider signing up. It’s a barrel of laugh and a ball of monkeys rolled into one.