I’ll be the first to admit, I had no idea what life was like for a new mother.
It never even crossed my mind before. If a conversation came up, I would have immediately tuned it out and thought about my easy jaunt to the farmers market, my leisurely morning wake up, or what cocktail was on the menu that night.
Confession: I still think about my cocktails.
It’s safe to say, motherhood wasn’t really my thing, and despite having a baby, it still isn’t my thing. Instead, I am bumbling and fumbling my way through this life with a tiny human business. I do happen to love the kid though, hard, and I’m fairly certain that’s all that really matters anyway, although a clean diaper never hurt.
As such I decided to share:
A Day in the Life with a Newborn (Ave is 11 weeks old)
5:15 a.m.: bolt awake to the sound of a baby crying. Nudge Hubby to get up. Mutter curse words under my breath, while simultaneously stumbling to the bathroom to pee.
5:19: grab Ave from the Hubby, who has gotten her out of the crib and changed her diaper, and then pop her on my left breast for first breakfast.
5:20 – 6:15: nurse Ave on both breasts, burp her after each round, change her diaper, wait out her hiccups, rub her back and finally put her down in her crib. Say a small prayer she goes to sleep.
6:16 – 6:30: let Oscar in and out three times. Find and clean up the pile of cat puke I heard Sam hacking up while I was nursing Ave. Mutter more curse words under my breath. Water outdoor flowers, raspberries, and garden.
6:30 – 7:58: go back to sleep.
7:58: awake with a start to a shuffling noise, realize it’s only the cat, decide to get up anyway.
7:58 – 9:05: brush my teeth and then head downstairs. Prepare and drink my lemon water. Make and eat two packets of Blueberry Flax Oatmeal with a banana and a yogurt while reading blogs. Unload the dishwasher.
9:05 – 9:15: pour a cup of coffee, sit back down at the computer and send a prayer to the sleep gods Ave stays down long enough to drink it and perhaps even shower since pouring coffee is the kiss of death. Literal translation: I pour my liquid gold an entire floor below her, and Ave wakes up. Somehow she knows.
9:16: I hear noises from above, so I check the baby monitor and notice Ave is wide awake. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She is fully alert, although calm so I decide to shower anyway. I move fast though.
9:17: I realize we need a bar of soap, which is stored in the hallway closet outside of Ave’s room, the one with the squeaky door. I weigh the pros and cons in my mind, and I opt to shower without soap. I use the Hubby’s overwhelmingly man scented body wash instead.
9:24: I jump out of the shower, check the monitor and notice Ave is getting more active, physically and verbally. She is eating her fist. I feel slightly guilty.
9:25: I skip applying body lotion and go right to the lanolin oil (nipple cream). I move as quietly and quickly as possible.
9:26: I check the monitor again and notice Ave is yawning. I feel less guilty.
9:27: I go to the bedroom to get dressed. I open my dresser drawer only to forget what I need. I start to walk away and realize underwear is the object of my desire. I hurriedly go back to the dresser, pull out clothes, sniff check yesterday’s pants, and get fully dressed, undergarments included.
9:28: I check the monitor. Ave is asleep. Aw hell. Do I wake her up to go to the lactation support group which starts in two minutes or do I let her sleep instead? This is a rhetorical question.
9:30 – 9:31: I creep by Ave’s room, trying to avoid the squeaky floorboards and go back downstairs.
9:31 – 10:00: I work on this blog post and decide to live dangerously, by pouring a second cup of coffee.
10:00 – 10:06: I check email, and read and comment on another couple of blog posts.
10:07: I hear movement, I check the baby monitor and watch Ave squirm for a full minute with her eyes closed.
10:08: Ave is back asleep and completely still.
10:09: Ave is moving again. Her eyes remain closed.
10:12: Ave is most definitely awake, and her eyes are fully open. I grab her, wash her face, and change her diaper, all while commenting on how spectacular her poop is, and then we head to the lactation support group meeting.
10:13 – 10:20: drive to the meeting while keeping up a running commentary for Ave in the backseat. I tell her she will get some milk at the meeting and mommy will get some sanity. We both win.
10:21 – 11:55: attend the lactation support group where I weigh Ave and breastfeed her, while chatting with other nursing mothers. It is my happy place.
11:56 – 12:02: drive home while singing “You are my sunshine” to Ave. I make up half the lyrics. My version is less clean.
12:03 – 12:40: nurse Ave some more, change her diaper, use the nose Frida on her and read ABC Baby Me three times. I realize I’m starving so I quickly eat a Kind bar. Ave is yawning so I walk with her for a few minutes before putting her in the crib awake. I am hoping she puts herself to sleep. We’re working on this.
12:41 – 12:55: make an avocado cheese sandwich for lunch all while listening for Ave. Check the baby monitor to see she’s fast asleep. Do a small victory dance in the kitchen and then say a prayer she sleeps for at least an hour or two so she can be a happy baby.
12:55 – 1:33 eat lunch with a cat in my lap and blogs on my computer screen. Work on this post.
1:33 – hear Ave start to fuss. Wait and see if she can fall back asleep
1:38: recognize that is not happening and go get the baby. Use the bathroom connected to her room, all while talking loudly with the door open, so she stays calm and knows mommy is coming.
1:39 – 1:45: decided to try and wear Ave. Spend six minutes assembling this crazy Moby wrap and slip Ave inside.
1:44 – 1:48: she is not digging the wrap and cries to express her frustration. I walk for a few minutes to see if she’ll be ok and then ultimately pull her out. The Hubby stops by for lunch.
1:48 – 2:15: walk with Ave for a few minutes to calm her down before putting her in her rocking chair. She loves the chair and kicks up a storm. I eat some potato chips and dip before she decides the chair is no longer fun. She cries to express her frustration.
2:15 – 2:56: I nurse Ave and burp her some more. I change her diaper and then her socks since she put her foot directly into her shit filled diaper.
2:56 – 3:14: I walk with Ave until she is passed out on my shoulder. I set her in her cradle to sleep.
3:14 – 4:45: work on this post while eating some raspberries to satisfy my sweet tooth. I read some other blogs. I put away the lunch dishes, hard boil some eggs and make a batch of brown rice. I burn the rice. I water all my indoor plants (twenty-four in total) and then the garden a second time. I throw in a load of laundry and I chop up some broccoli, onions, and bell peppers to be used for dinner. I soak the Bok Choy in cold water because he looks rather sad, and I discover I have grapes in the fridge, so I rinse those too.
4:45 – 4:50: I lay down on the couch next to Ave with my book and visions of sleep in my head.
4:50: listen to Oscar hurl on the floor directly behind me. Get up and clean it and then lay back down.
5:00: Ave screams out and I bolt upright only to discover she is already back asleep. I lay back down.
5:10: the Hubby comes home. We exchange a few words before I lay back down.
5:13 – 6:38: read my book before eventually nodding off to sleep. Awake to Ave fussing in her cradle beside me.
6:39 – 7:09: nurse Ave and then pass her off to the Hubby so I can make dinner.
7:10 – 7:55: start sautéing veggies and chop up the remaining produce: Bok Choy, garlic scapes, and Brussels sprouts. Vacuum the living room and the hallway while the veggies cook and the Hubby hangs out with the tiny human.
7:56: Ave is getting fussy so I try to nurse her again. She takes to the boob like a fish to water. The Hubby steps in and finishes dinner while I breastfeed.
7:56 – 9:24: nurse Ave on both sides, burp her, change her diaper, give her vitamin D, file her nails and take bites of our now finished dinner in between all of these activities. At one point, the Hubby feeds me while I feed the baby. Put Ave in her crib for the night.
9:24 – 10:10: clean up the kitchen and wash the dinner dishes. Make coffee, help the Hubby make granola, go through the mail from the past few days, put stuff away around the house, vacuum the kitchen.
10:10 – 10:13: put phone on charger with the intent of going to bed, notice some pop ups and get sucked into Facebook.
10:18: put phone down for real, head upstairs to brush my teeth and read my book before eventually slipping into dreamland.
I know, my life is simply scintillating these days, and this was a really good day.
If you’re a mom, does this look familiar? If not, is it what you expected?