Since becoming a parent, crow has become a regular in my meal rotations.
Everything I thought I knew or believed has been abandoned along with any rational thoughts, which to be honest were few and far between anyway. Instead, my brain has been taken over by zombies with coffee as it’s main food source; well caffeine and crow that is.
Case in point, I said I’d never have kids, and we all know how that turned out.
Never say never though, especially where faulty condoms are concerned. I should have known that juicy fruit flavor with textured nubs was just for show; all glitz and glamour with no substance to support it, so to speak.
In any event, I had definite ideas about tiny humans and how I’d raise one if ever things changed. It’s safe to say, all my previous notions were downright ridiculous. Hence, the whole eating crow business.
For example, I used to say I’d let my baby cry it out. Um yeah, it turns out I’m more full of you know what than the tiny dictator’s dirty diapers because when that baby cries, my heart cracks in two and I am instantly at her side.
I use to laugh at people who teared up over sappy videos and now I can sob at the drop of the hat, especially if it’s a really nice hat and it happens to fall in a puddle of mud, and by fall I mean the tiny human chucks it there.
I said I wouldn’t use my boobs as a pacifier. Yeah, you can disregard that. Instead I’m all, “Here ya go kid. You want some fries with that shake.”
I also said I wouldn’t eat meat substitutes. If I was feeling carnivorous, I’d just consume the real deal, and yet here I am making lentil meatballs. Granted this one isn’t really child related, but I’m blaming the hormones so it fits.
The shortest of short versions is I had some leftover lentils in the fridge and a craving for a more meaty meal, without the actual beef. I decided to try my hand at a vegetarian meatball and I’m so glad I did.
These are dense little balls of delight. They’re moist and packed with protein and flavor along with a boatload of garlic because I moonlight as a vampire on weekends. At least that’s what I’m blaming for my pale pallor; that, winter, a lack of sleep and the baby because somehow it all comes back to her.
- 2 1/2 cups cooked Green Lentils
- 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, shredded
- 3 cloves of Garlic, minced
- 1 tsp. dried Parsley
- 1/2 tsp. dried Basil
- 1/2 tsp. dried Oregano
- 1/4 tsp. Red Pepper Flakes
- 1/2 tsp. dried Onion Powder
- 1/4 tsp. Salt (optional)
- 2 Tbsp. Tomato Paste
- 2 Eggs
- 1/2 cup Breadcrumbs
- Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
- Cook lentils according to package directions.
- Add the cooked lentils, the cheese and all seasonings from the garlic through to the salt to a food processor and pulse until ingredients are broken down.*
- Once broken down, pour lentil mixture into a medium bowl. Add the tomato paste, the two eggs and the bread crumbs. Using your hands, work mixture until it comes together. It will be slightly wet but solid enough to form meatballs with your hands.**
- Place lentil balls on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
- Bake for 20 minutes on 300 degrees, flipping them once halfway through at 10 minutes.
- Add to pasta sauce and serve with noodles of choice.
- *If you don't have a food processor, you can mash the lentils with a fork or potato masher in a medium bowl until they are broken down. Then add shredded cheese, minced garlic and seasonings to the bowl.
- **If mixture is too wet, add more breadcrumbs.
Have you ever eaten crow? The proverbial kind. Tell me about it.