Forgive me Father. It’s been almost two years since my last confession. Far too long to go without a verbal cleansing, but thankfully I’ve been spinning and sweating out my inner demons, or maybe that’s just french fries. Pfft, whatever, same difference.
In any event, I suspect my penance is going to be a lot more than a few Hail Mary’s, which I won’t say any way, so I doubt it matters. I do pray every time I see an ambulance with sirens going though. Surely, that’ll get to me to the gates of St. Peter and from there I plan to charm my way in. Flashing a boob is still considered charming right?
And away we go…
Ave is still on the teat. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends nursing until two years of age, and we just passed her second birthday. She doesn’t seem keen to leave the “mommy milk” behind though.
Truth, I want my breasts back, but I’m also unable to say “no” when she gets upset, at least about this, although I can easily deny her cookies or another episode of Elmo. It might be wishful thinking, but I want the nursing to conclude naturally, without ripping her away from her security blanket and ending things on a sour note, pun intended.
Speaking of the tiny human, I’d love for her to have a sibling since both the Hubby and I come from three children homes. Then I remember I’d have to carry the baby to term and take care of them afterwards and all notions of brothers and sisters go out the window. She’s got Oscar; it’s practically the same thing.
(This is an old picture; it’s still cute.)
I’m praying Ave’s latest diva moments are just a phase and not her actual personality emerging. She makes Cher seem like Mother Teresa.
In that same vein, I accidentally signed up for a live sex website last week. I should have known Jillian Michaels wasn’t offering me a free thirty-day membership. Sigh.
A friend of mine wants to get some artistic pictures done and she sent me this photo as an example. Brace yourself ladies or at least your nether regions. One strong gust of wind and this chick’s got herpes. I hope she got a tetanus shot first.
The cookie cake we made for Ave’s birthday was ‘eh at best, and the leftovers went straight into the garbage can. Thankfully it wasn’t one of my recipes or else I’d have to hang my head in shame and cancel my blog domain.
Also, did you know about this? I’m slightly horrified, totally guilty and yet I have no intentions of stopping.
Since we’re on the topic of food, I’ve never tried avocado toast. You’re going to have to revoke my basic bitch card.
I’m not above a good avocado cheese sammie though.
Last but not least, and in no way related, the Hubby purchased off brand Q-tips, also known as ear swabs, and my eargasm has suffered exponentially. Some things you just can’t scrimp on.
I want to hear your confessions. Spill it.
whoa!!! that pic of the chick on the very dirty wooden planks has got me very disturbed and uncomfortable! holy yikes almighty! i just don’t know what happened to my pizazz but i don’t think anything but please get me some hydrogen peroxide. am i that boring? other than that it’s a really pretty shade of black and white. always find something positive, that’s me. yes!
i’m in no place close to take away Lulu’s naptime and bedtime paci’s anytime soon. the hubby has told me that he will make them disappear in June and that just literally made me start having a panic attack. the doctors and dentists say its’ really a bad idea but common shes’ my only daughter and i just don’t think it’s that bad right now. i trust that she will want it less on her own, just give her a damn chance, society!!!! judgey mac judgersons!!! oh the sorrows.
i’m not really in to avo toast but the other morning i did hit the flavor jackpot when i sauteed some shrooms and topped my yummy white bread with those suckers and a bunch of mushy avo and salt. SO FREAKING GOOD!!
on the family front, hubby has a sibling and i have 10 half siblings, and we are both realizing how old and tired and fine we are with 1 human offspring. we had fantasies of more kiddos but now reality set in. le sigh!
I can relate since my boob tends to be Ave’s pacifier. I say give it time and they’ll let it go naturally. At least I hope so.
Ave and Lulu can have each other. Sisters from different misters (and mommies).
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
Every singlton child I know as an adult states that loved being the only one and I, one of seven absolutely disliked being lost in the shuffle of seven. Don’t worry about it and do what moves you. Ave will be happy (or not) if she has one sib or ten.
I am curious, how much did they offer you for working on that live sex internet show thing anyway? We’re retired and it’s tough living on this fixed income, lol!
I wouldn’t worry too much about sharing those hooters with little hoot at all. If she’s just got her special bedtime need and maybe morning wake up then don’t make a big deal of it. On the other hand if it’s really intruding on your personal space at this point, I’m pretty sure you are going to have to get crafty and try to set the timer, like I did, using the stall tactic. Putting it off for longer and longer time spans until she eventually forgets. It worked for me with that one that really dragged his feet on into the second year.
Ave’s got a handful of really good cousins so that helps a lot.
They didn’t offer me anything for the live sex. In fact, they charged me (thankfully I got my mind back although I had to cancel my card). Bastards.
I’m switching up the routine a bit so between that and Spring time hitting, I’m hoping it’ll be enough to distract Ave from the breast naturally. If not, we’ll keep on nursing. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
Avo toast is all over the place here, actually I think it did originate in Australia…. But anyway, I point blank refuse to pay good money for something I could make for half the price at home – and that’s with buying local fresh sourdough. Daylight robbery what some cafes charge here! Occasionally I make it at home but it’s more like toast, avo and eggs. Got to have eggs (runny yolk and avo are a match made in heaven).
Such a shame about the cookie cake, did it just not taste nice?
The things models will do in a photo shoot… I just want to bring her a blanket! Ha!
Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…Week in Review
The cookie cake was super dry and just bleh flavor wise. The best part about it was the Reese’s and the ice cream we put on top. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
I’m sure Oscar is on board with signing the sibling contract. More attention for him then always, right? Jen speaks truth about avocado toast. I like avocado + toast + eggs.. its really yummy… but 10$ in a cafe for one measly piece of bread and avocado and some “fancy” sprouts has got to be one of the weirdest wallet-stealing fads we’ve had. My only current confessions is I’m over here wishing I could shoot coffee through my veins and unsure when/if/how to get back to blogging. We’ll see.
Cora recently posted…Easter At Home, 2018
Mmmm coffee in my veins… Now that sounds lovely.
I mentioned it on IG but I took off a month off blogging before one summer and it was amazing. It was also supposed to only be a week so I say embrace the stillness and come back if and when you’re ready.
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
and I thought the cake looked so good! I’m sure she will wean when she’s ready. while I didn’t go to 2 (we stopped at 16 months), it seemed like a natural progression down with the additional little nudges from me to redirect his attention (like for during the day times and then eventually I just put him down without it). and really? no mashed avocado on toast for you?
I wouldn’t turn down mashed avo toast if it was offered to me. I just haven’t made it myself or ordered it out. One day.
Some days Ave will nurse once (twice tops) and other days she’ll skip it altogether, so I’m hoping it’ll just naturally fade away.
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
I’m going to say the woman in that photo is strategically positioned so you can’t see the panties she’s definitely wearing. I’m probably the furthest thing from a germophobe, but that even makes me shudder.
I’ve never tried avocado toast either. I dunno….I think tortilla chips are a better vehicle for avocado. Higher avocado-to-carb ratio.
Maybe they’re clear panties.
Amen to tortilla chips with avocado. Way better and saltier (mmmm) than toast.
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
I thought I’d work on weaning Squish around the two-year mark. I took a trip by myself when she was 22 months to meet my new baby nephew. I was away for a few days (the longest I’d been away from her! Missed her so much!) And then it was over. It felt like a natural time to stop and not offer when I got back but it felt kind of abrupt too. I don’t know. For me there was no perfect time. It was this thing that was so challenging (and kinda awful. Lol) at the beginning and then it was easy for a long time and so hard to let go of. Especially because there’s a good chance she’s only going to have purring siblings too 🙂
I’m going away without Ave for a few days next month so that might be it for us too. Funny how easy it seems now and what a struggle it was in the beginning. We had trouble too, which I understand is pretty common, although I didn’t know that then.
Purring siblings are the best.
Any advice for handling the separation? I know I need it, but I also know I will miss her tremendously.
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
I need to know how you accidentally sign up for a live sex site.
By being an idiot, but if you like I can sign you up too.
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
Apparently I live under a rock, I was unaware there were such options for “ear swabs.” I think the recommendations are bogus with a lot of things in life, listen to your body and let the boob monster drink until you feel it’s right to stop. I confess I’ve worn the same outfit all week. By choice. And I’ll do it again.
Brittany recently posted…Success for Less – an Individualistic Approach
I wear the same clothes all week long too. The only thing I change and wash is my workout clothes. Thank goodness for that. You’ve seen me sweat.
Meghan recently posted…I Must Confess
There’s a blog I read where she was bumming hard core that her 8 year old just weaned. I’m all for breastfeeding, but holy hell. No. The longest one of my kiddos nursed was 18 months and that was long enough for both of us, so kudos to you from me! On the sibling front, as a Mom to 4 let me assure you, it’s crazy town. All day, every day. We both wanted a big family and just effing look at us. Just look.
I like a few slices of avocado here and there, especially on a sandwich or a burger, but this whole avo toast thing is just way too much for me.
Jen recently posted…One/80 Round 2 Starting Stats
I can’t handle the crazy town that comes with multiple children. I’m hanging on by a thread with one. Maybe I should eat some avocado toast. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Recovery and Repair (#128)
I read this post when you first published it but it was on my phone and I don’t know how to comment from my phone! It’s rare I ever get the laptop. But, here I am now and there are my excuses. So, my confessions? I used to make fun of people who eat and post photos of their avocado toast. Not make fun of, just roll my eyes at. It just seems so…. self righteous. I dunno. I’d enjoy a good photo of someone mowing through their 2 year old’s stale crusts from leftover grilled cheese sandwiches. Dip those bad boys into some ketchup or ranch sauce and it’s goody time.
Suzy recently posted…Mileage Monday
I would have tossed Ave’s leftover mac & cheese on my salad tonight, but she ate it all. Little rascal. I’m happy her appetite is back though.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: Recovery and Repair (#128)