I am the definition of irony: a healthy living blogger talking about the health trends she hates.
Granted, hate is a strong word and reserved for the likes of head lice, gonorrhea and Donald Trump. He’s a poor excuse for a human being, and I’d happily ingest all the foods I’m about to mention if only he were to crawl back into his lily white hole.
My point is these health trends may ruffle my feathers or put my knickers in a knot, but they’re no match for our current political mess, so if you want to wrap your arms around these body boosting bits and bobs, have at it. I won’t even give you the side eye; much.
Health Trends I Hate
Quinoa: I know, I know. It’s a super food, the plant protein god, manna from Heaven, but it sure doesn’t taste like much and the texture rivals a dirt bath. I might as well be eating a dried out mud pie. Believe me, I have tried, time and time again, to love this grain of goodness, but I can’t do it, unless it’s this version which is smothered in butter and disguised with copious amounts of corn. Butter wins every time.
Protein Powders: I don’t ingest powders, not through my mouth or my nose, so you might as well add PB2 to the list. I’d rather eat real food, like a handful of almonds or a couple of hard boiled eggs. Speaking of…
Egg Whites: are we really that concerned with 55 calories? Enough already; eat the damn yolk. It’s good for you, and also happens to be the tastiest part.
Quest Bars: the very notion my food will improve in taste, after sitting in the sun, on the dashboard of my car for three hours freaks me out. I’ll pass, thanks.
Low Cal Ice Cream: why must we take the fun, fat and sweetness out of everything? Can we just let ice cream be exactly what it is: creamy scoops of serendipitous sugar spun joy. Next.
Chia Seeds: ch-ch-ch-chia (I couldn’t resist). I know these guys are nutritional powerhouses, but I find it off putting they turn into a gel like texture when sprayed with liquid? That’s like the worst wet t-shirt contest ever.
Two A Days (exercising twice in one day): now you’re just showing off, and unless you plan on walking around smellier than my kid’s diaper genie, that’s an awful lot of showers and laundry in the same day, and last time I checked, water is still a precious resource.
Spaghetti Squash: another trend I want to embrace, but something stops me every time. Oh yeah, the flavor or lack thereof. I’d rather eat yarn. On second thought, maybe that’s why I don’t like it.
Intermittent Fasting: ya know what sounds like fun? Starving yourself and putting your body into ketosis. Um, that’s a hard no from me.
All that being said, I could and have licked a container of hummus clean, just as recently as last week actually. Bottom line, you should embrace whatever trend, healthy or not, works for you, unless of course it’s head lice. That shit’s contagious.
What health trends do you dislike and why?