Some of you know my particular brand of humor well.
Some of you even come back for more of it. I’m pretty sure you guys are sick. You might want to see a doctor; they have meds for that now.
Some of you come here to hear about my love of the veggies. Some of you come because I’m sassy, and some of you come to see what I’m going to put in my pie hole next. Some of you come because I’m cocky, and still some of you come for my weird musical renditions.
You guys come here for so many reasons, day in and day out, and I sure do appreciate it. So much so, I thought it’d be interesting to share why some other people visited Clean Eats, Fast Feets in the past. Yes my friends, today it’s all about the search terms.
Today, I’m going to share what fun and strange little ditties people typed into Google to get here. I bring you my Top Ten Favorite Search Engine Terms.
- Let me see that booty bounce: this pleases me to no end. By the way, that song is now seared in my brain (yet again), and I am most definitely bouncing.
- Gorilla Beating Chest: considering I call myself Vanilla Gorilla, I’m not surprised. I’d also like to take this moment to say “Bring It,” even though I’m not entirely clear on what ‘it’ is.
- Rap song lyrics i’m like hot chili bok choy. If I inspired just one rapper to eat their bok choy, well then my work here is done.
- Sexy Gymnast. Obviously. Thanks Mom and Dad for making sure my underwear made an appearance in this picture. I’m sure it was all the rage back then.
- Roid Cleavage, Do your boobs hang low, and boobs after clean eating. I’m pretty sure they’re the same boobs before and after I eat. The only difference is there might be some crumbs in there when I’m done.
- I‘m a fucking unicorn. Geesh, somebody’s gotta a potty mouth. Oh wait, that’s me.
- Eat Short Feets. Having a foot fetish is one thing, but why do they have to be short? Also, since I was an English major, I feel slightly bad about spawning an entire group of grammatically incorrect feet.
- Farts jokes and OBGYN jokes. This makes me happy.
- I’ll get you my pretty. Cackle, cackle.
- honey badger party. ♪♫ Cause ain’t no party like a honey badger party, cause a honey badger party don’t stop. ♪♫
What does all this say about me? Well it appears, I’m a sexy gymnast, a vanilla gorilla, a fucking unicorn, boob obsessed, immature and a witch who likes to party with honey badgers. I’m pretty sure I could give Sybil a run for her money.
What are some of your favorite search engine terms? What brings other people to your blog? What brings you to my blog day in and day out? Thanks for that, by the way. You make my day.
I’ve been getting a lot of hits lately for “inspirational quotes,” which as you know is hilarious, because what they will be finding is not inspirational in the slightest but me making fun of them. Haha. Not what they were expecting! But, maybe I’ll make them feel better anyways with a good laugh.
You get super awesome searches. I haven’t gotten any weird ones for awhile. I think the Wizard of Oz reference is the most impressive because I bet that’s a pretty popular search and for you to be ranked up there with the best of them… Well duh, because you’re the best 😉
Oh, and in case I didn’t use the correct words… I come back because you are the BEST. I also come back to see if you responded to my comments… But that’s a different story 😉
I will always respond to your comments, and I actually have a little comment box you can check where it will notify you if and when someone replies to your comment only. This way you can see my response without being flooding with emails…because we all know I get so many comments your email box won’t be able to take it (snort).
I like your school of thought on the Wizard of Oz bit. I never thought of it like that.
I also would like to be a fly on the wall for people’s reactions to your inspirational quotes. I know they make me laugh so hopefully they have a similar reaction.
Omg how did you find that out? You are hilarious!
Ps. I come back because I appreciate someone with a sense of ha ha that’s apparently weirder than mine! Impressive!
I use a plugin called Jetpack (although I literally just deactivated it because it might be the source of my site slowness), which tracks all kinds of numbers and fun things like search terms. It’s one of my favorite things to look up because the hits are so unusual and funny. I got a spam comment from someone named Rodeo Clown. I kept it for weeks because it always made me smile. Guess I’m weird too. Glad you like my ha ha.
Czech porn star. I am neither czech nor a porn star, so riddle me that one!
Czech porn star. I love that one. That would have made my day.
Meg…your knee in the childhood gymnast pic…proof positive that your knees have been screwed up forever. I heart the Vanilla Gorilla.
Right?! It certainly gives new meaning to the phrase knobby knees.
Oh my gosh. This list just made my day. No, my week. This is amAzing!! I think my favorite is “Eat Short Feet.” Too funny.
I don’t think I’ve had any bizarre search terms…the only ones I can think of are along the lines of “two moose fighting,” but I did a post on an exhibit I saw a few years ago, which is probably why that comes up. Definitely not as good as some of yours!
Two moose fighting is a pretty good one. I’d take that and laugh.
Oh my gee some of those are gold. Look at that Carly Patterson right there 😉
My search terms are ridiculous…. ‘Channing tatum on arman’s muffin’ ‘miley cyrus chicken’ and ‘how to feed channing tatum coconuts’ have come up more than once… :s
By being YOU wholeheartedly makes it a pure treat to come to your blog- that, and bread envy. 😉
Bread envy is a dangerous thing. I’m kind of dangerous myself.
I love how to feed channing tatum coconuts. That’s fabulous.
When I think bouncing booties, boobs and rappers, I think your blog.
This pleases me to no end. It’s always why I think you’re the cats pajamas.
I have serious search term envy! The ones you get are so much more interesting than mine! Is it safe to share a spoon… Megan Boone feet… why can’t I run with scissors… nothing too risqué. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m boring…
As for what keeps me coming back… your love of the public banana 😉
I haven’t done a #publicbanana in a while either. Guess I better get on that, huh?!
Too funny! I LOVE the little Meghan gymnast!! Your eyes are exactly the same. So much more intense in a little face! Adorable. Have a great day!
Thanks Fran. I hope you had a great weekend.
ROID CLEAVAGE??? What the fuck…..!
There are some sick individuals out there. 😉
“My husband wants me to wear pasties” is my favorite search term, but I’ll need to add a listing of search terms to my end of year wrap up post.
How someone, after googling that, decided to click on my post “Pasties: A Meat Pie for Pi Day” is beyond me. But I loved that she did!
That’s a fabulous one. Ha, pasties and meat pies makes such an interesting mix.
Haha! Love it! I need to go through my search terms…haven’t done that in a while! Ok, so I just scrolled through the list real quick and it makes me SO incredibly happy that “it’s so fluffy I could die” is right there in the middle! Mission = ACCOMPLISHED! Lol
You know why I come back. I’m a dick…I’m A-DICTTED to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That would please me to no end as well. It’s soooooo fluffy!
You can be a A-DICT-Ted to me any day of the week, and even twice on Sunday. 😉