Recently, as in last week, the tiny human was struck down with the plague. After hitting up her first ever Cleveland Indians baseball game and embracing the moment with a ball park frank, she came home, where things rapidly took a turn for the worse. The hotdog reappeared (although should not be held responsible for the events that followed), and we embarked on an all night Puke Party with a side of laundry.
Good times were had by all, and by good times, I mean days with no energy, lots of television, random naps in strange places, and baby sips of Canada Dry (Canadians make the best products: poutine, dill pickle chips, Mackintosh toffee, Timbits, Coffee Crisps, I could go on for days).
Anyway, since I officially have the world’s worst immune system (when did that happen, by the way?), I too caught the plague. I haven’t prayed to the porcelain god that much since my twenty-first birthday. Needless to say, it’s been rough and by the grace of my in-laws, who swooped in and swooshed the tiny human back to their house, I am still standing.
I’m also starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, which makes me realize there are some perks of having the plague.
Perks of the Plague
1) Hello, rapid weight loss, without exercise. Granted, I barely ate and the vast majority of any missing pounds is due to sheer dehydration, which is going to come back in 4.2 seconds, but I’m rolling with it and rocking my silver linings.
2) Snuggles. Y’all, as much as it breaks my heart when my kiddo is sick, I relished the cuddles and couch naps. These days, I can barely keep her still long enough to do anything, so it was selfishly splendid soaking up the affection. It’s also probably how I caught the plague, but whatever.
4) Forced Relaxation. I’m not sure why it takes getting sick to get some rest, but it’s amazing what a little R&R does for your mental health. It might even give you the stamina to pen a blog post (cough, too obvious, cough).
5) No Fucks Given. Case in point: my clothing choices.
When was the last time you had the stomach flu? Did you have a “puke bucket” when you were a child. The tiny human has become obsessed with hers (rolls eyes skyward).