I have no specific blog topic today.
No fancy pants recipes, without the actual pants because those suckers are stifling. No confessions, no currentlies, no parenting pearls of wisdom.
I still want to write though or likely overshare, so instead of being deliberate, methodical or any combination thereof, I’m just going to type and see what happens.
The baby and I are headed to San Diego next week for five full days, and I’m equal parts terrified and excited. Scratch that, it’s probably 70% freaked out, which I assume is a normal ratio when one becomes a parent, completely responsible for another living and breathing human being. That shit is hard.
My mind has already run down all the rationale things which could possibly go wrong: Ave refuses to sleep in a new place. Ave clings to my pant legs even while I use the bathroom and shower. Ave wakes up at 4:20 in the morning just for the hell of it. Ave refuses to let anyone else entertain her. Ave gets more and more over tired and spirals into a demon spawn. Ave hollers the entire plane ride and all the other passengers glare at me.
Technically all of my fears are founded, because they’ve happened at one point or another in her short existence, minus the plane bit, and only because she’s never traveled on one before.
I know, I know, my mind is working in overdrive, and yet having these worries is part and parcel when you become a parent, maybe even more so for folks diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety (cough, me, cough).
It can be overwhelming at times, messy as hell and frustrating when others say, “Relax, don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. She’s fine. You’re fine.”
Gee thanks, like I didn’t think of those things already.
Despite my concerns, or maybe even because of them, we’re going for it.
Ave and I are foraging ahead, hopping on a jet plane, and embarking on a new adventure. We’re going to create some magical memories and most likely another thing to be anxious about. Welcome to parenting.
I suppose I’m sharing this because I want you to know having fears, especially when it comes to tiny humans is totally normal. After all, once bitten, twice shy. The point though is not to let those same concerns dictate your decisions.
I’m 100% comfortable with the tiny dictator knowing her mother had/has anxiety because there is no shame in it. I also want her to know I never let it hold us back.
This post was originally titled Blah, Blah, Blah, but after seeing where my fingers frolicked I renamed it Leaving on a Jet Plane. What are your anxieties? Any advice for traveling solo with a toddler?
so I have zero experience traveling when my son was a baby but my friends have done it at that age and for the most part, it went ok. hopefully she naps or is entertained by SOMETHING. ANYTHING. remember to pack all the charging gear for the iPads and things like that lol. and if all else fails for sleeping at night, stick her in your bed. that always worked with my son and then you deal with returning to routine when you get home. that’s probably what I would do. the routine will be off anyway. have fun!
That’s good advice. We actually stuck here in our bed when we went to Buffalo a couple weeks back so I’m fully prepared to do it again if necessary.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
Anxiety sucks but you are amazing for overcoming it.
I flew a bunch with my kids when they were babies and toddlers. I always boarded the plane at the last possible minute, packed millions of snacks and a new book or toy, and then reminded myself that every minute of misery was one minute closer to our destination and the plane ride would not last forever. And in actuality, my anxiety was always worse than reality and we usually had really easy trips. I hope you and the mini have an awesome time!!!
Millions of snacks and a new toy…I’m doing it. Great advice, thank you.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
Telling someone to “relax” or “don’t worry” is the most useless/backfiring piece of advice to give someone going through anxiety. “Yeah – okay! Thanks! Never thought of that option.” …..
Of course you’d be anxious about this first trip! There are so many news and unknowns. But you will conquer it. The fact you aren’t letting those fears stop you, and that you are being open (with us and future Ave) about those anxieties proves you aren’t letting them takeover the kick-ass Meg we all know. Most of all I really really hope you can enjoy and HAVE FUN!! Will be thinking of the two of you!
Cora recently posted…Vancouver / Victoria BC Recap: Week In Review
Thanks sweets! I appreciate the words of encourage and support. Blows kiss.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
The first time I traveled solo was with my son when he was 9ish months old. I remember the flight there not being too bad, but the flight home was nightmarish. I was a frazzled mess and I will be forever grateful to the kind dad who was sitting in the aisle with us and offered to hold my son when he was fussing pretty much non-stop. I’m not a fan of planes anyway, so I’m sure my son (and at that point everyone) was picking up on my stress and it wasn’t helpful. I advise getting up once or twice with Ave to walk the plane – especially since she’s a walker now. ALL OF THE SNACKS. Snacks work miracles. Keep things as normal as you can while traveling and just plan for the worst, hope for the best. The time change may throw her off – work with it as best as you can. I wish I could remember more tips from when my kids were that age, but it’s such a blur. Haha! So at least that… one day it will all be a distant memory. 😉 Seriously, though – have an amazing trip!
These are great tips; thank you. I plan to get her a new snack (along with a host of other snacks) and a new toy for the plane. We’ll definitely have to go for walks up and down the aisle. She does not like to be constrained for long, unless she’s sleeping, which I doubt she’ll do on the plane. Too much new stuff to see and do.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
“No fancy pants recipes, without the actual pants because those suckers are stifling. No confessions, no currentlies, no parenting pearls of wisdom.”
You’ve set yourself free of prose restraints and I love it!
Everyone with the (cough cough) ‘purposeful’ child is terrified at the prospect of a long flight and removing them from their normal routines and more manageable environments! I know this because I had one that, at Aves age,out of his element, had a total no nap meltdown, standing next to a friends small trinket table. It was full of her long ago passed mother and grandmothers glass niceties. Small China cups, pretty little vases, and such. He grabbed that table in frustration and flipped it over, breaking 6 of about 10 items. My friend, though at that time, was a newish friend, took it so completely charmingly. (Probably only until we left days later)
The moral is that she is still a great friend, 39 years later, 4 states away. And that’s how you sort out true friends! She’s still trying to reassure me!
It felt good to just type where my fingers led me. It’s been awhile.
Hopefully I’ll find a kindred soul on the plane. And my little brother will be with us on the flight so that will help too. I’ve been facetiming with him a lot so Ave gets comfortable with his face. I also have his picture on the wall in her room.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
yesssss!!!! you know i can relate to this. i had all the fears and anxiety about flying and coming to see you and Ave was honestly one of the hardest but BEST things i’ve ever done. Lulu had the best time, as you know… and so did her mama 🙂
i’ll be thinking about you and Ave, miss ya!!! sending hugs and love from down South
If I only I could wear Ave and have her happily sleep on me. It’s a definite plus Lulu can sleep on the go.
Miss you too. Sending lots of hugs and dry land. I’ve been thinking about you in Houston lots.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
Ahhhhh I totally know how you feel! But you know how important it is to push through anxiety and act against it even when it feels overwhelming. You’re going to have a great time, but yeah, there will be tough moments. I’m not gonna lie. But… they’ll be worth it. They always are.
Thanks love. I appreciate it and the honesty. Always.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
i like the name you choose. i have no advice as i have no kids, but good luck to you! Im sure you will be fine, probably just super tired from both stress and running after Ave.
Patrick@looneyforfood.com recently posted…WIAW Italian Club Day 4
Thanks Patrick.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
So excited to see you in San Diego! Let me know when you’re in town and when I can see you and Ave! I promise not to tell you that “it will be fine” or to “relax,” but I will tell you that San Diego has lots and lots of beer.
And you know I’ll keep her full of it! 😉
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…What I Ate in Vegas
I’m still nursing so we have to intersperse the beer with water. 🙂
I can’t wait to see you both.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
Although I have no wisdom to give with regards travelling with a kid, I have dealt with a lot of anxiety over the years. One of two things are going to happen, either you will go and be proved right with your concerns or you will go and be proved wrong/ it won’t be as bad as expected. For me, knowing the worst case scenario is actually a comfort, and I like to use it to allow me to be brave and try new situations anyway. So I know the worst, but what if that doesn’t happen? You know the bad but what if the good happens? Just because I don’t know yet what the good might be or I believe it won’t happen doesn’t mean I won’t be proved wrong. That ‘try and see’ mentality helped me to grow and recover. So it’s great to hear that despite your concerns you are going anyway!
Gah I hoped that made sense… Love the fact that you are sharing this with all of us. X
Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…The mental challenges of moving home #5TTT
It did make sense and I so very much appreciate the advice and encouragement. I understand. My fears are the worst case scenario so anything less will be a win in my book. Besides I know despite the fears and struggles, there will definitely be good times too.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
Dude. It’s going to be fine. Have I mentioned we have a giant wine collection? If she doesn’t sleep, there are a million places to walk. Eventually we’ll wear her out enough to pass out for hours. If not… Benadryl. My mom drugged the shit out of us and we turned out fine-ish.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…What I Ate in Vegas
I’ll skip the Benadryl (only because I’ve been told it can make your kid tired and wired which would be just our luck). but you take you up on the walking and the wine collection.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
ooooh I am excited for you! Hope you guys have an awesome time and you get to relax, too! I am an over-worrier when it comes to traveling, too and until now everything has always worked out somehow. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse but in the end it will always be okay. And if not there’s beer and wine to help you cope!
And yes, maybe she’ll lose her shit and the journey will be hell. But from a non-parent perspective, she’s a toddler and still gets a free pass. And if people do glare I think Ave has a pretty decent death stare as well 😉
This being said, I cross my fingers for a smooth and fantastic few days.
Beer, wine and coffee are definitely going to be staples on this trip.
Ave’s RBF is strong, maybe a little too strong. 😉
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
I love this. That is all <3
LJ recently posted…Thursdays are for Thinking Out Loud
Thanks.
Wish I could be more help on the travelling with a toddler front but I’ve got nothing for ya.
Thanks for being open and honest and real. Hope the trip is going better than the worst-case scenario your anxiety was bringing upon you. Decisions make me highly highly overwhelmed and anxious. Fun stuff.
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Anxiety is a real treat, huh?!
I’m always happy to be open and honest; those are my favorite posts to write usually.
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
I loved plane travel with my lil Zoe-just the two of us! Kind of trapped together. Bring a little backpack just for Ave filled with books, crayons, paper. I do remember at one point just putting Zoe on my lap and letting her tear the pages out of the in flight magazine! Enjoy!!
Thanks Lisa. Good advice; I’m gonna have a ‘fun’ bag for Ave at the ready. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: #100
Ha, and look at you guys, you pulled this plane trip off like bosses! So proud of you and I LOVE that you went for it, even though the anxieties were about to eat you up. So worth it, considering Ave got to hang out at the beach with you and Laura. I wish I could have been there with you guys.
I wish you could have been there too. Guess I’ll just have to take the tiny human to Europe next. 🙂
Meghan recently posted…Week in Review: (#104)